T's forgetfulness of important stuff - should I mention it?

I've been seeing my current T almost nine months. I think we've developed a good working alliance, can deal with transference issues, and are working on trying to get me to more securely attach to her/him. So...I don't understand T's forgetfulness of what I consider rather important parts of my history, such as having been hospitalized in my early 20s, a two-year relationship w/boyfriend in college which is a big deal considering my diagnoses, two trauma issues when I was younger, etc. We talked briefly about these things about seven months ago and T took brief notes.

The hospitalization issue came up last session and T acted surprised to learn of it, and again, took notes. T is about 63-66, successful private practice for past 30+ years. Now, I'm seriously wondering if I should bring his forgetfulness up...in a casual way, worked into a conversation, such as:

Me: I had problems with medications at (name of hospital).

T: You were hospitalized?! What year, or how old were you?

Me: Yes. I was around 22. We talked about this several months ago. OR
Me: Yes. I was around 22. I think I told you several months ago.

Is this normal for Ts to forget important history, especially as it relates to the client's diagnosis? And should I bring up previous conversations about these things as they come up? T's pretty busy and I don't expect her/him to recall everything, but this is beginning to make me feel a bit like T's not paying attention to what I say more of the time than I thought...and that maybe I'm not so much of a priority. Feels hurtful.

Any thoughts, opinions, suggestions will be greatly appreciated. I know threads on Ts' forgetfulness has come up at least once in the past, but it hadn't happened to me yet, so I wasn't sure what I'd do...or feel. Thanks a bunch~~

No. 1 forgot a few important things: a spouse's illness and some details of a very traumatic event. I didn't bring it up, but wish I had. If you do bring it up, I would make it firm - be polite but state definitively that you DID talk about this.

Nos. 2 and 3 remember everything so far, but they also take very detailed notes, more detailed than No. 1, who writes keywords haphazardly on a piece of paper.

Everybody forgets things but these are major details that are important to your mental health.

I had this issue just last week and it's frustrating. I let it pass though. I put it down to T's having many other clients...but that doesn't excuse their forgetfulness considering they should take relevant notes and read the clients file before their appt.

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If it was briefly mentioned several months ago, then not again till recently, it's understandable that t might not remember. Even if t were to take detailed notes, I wouldn't expect him to remember it so fareal down the line without further mention during the passing months. That said, if t were to again forget after having spoken about it now, it's less excusable...

If it bothers you though, I would bring it up. It's causing you to feel ignored, which to me is a bigger issue than t's forgetfulness. We go to therapy for various reasons, but the general thread connecting them as is desire to have our stories heard...

My t seems surprised any time I bring up my past eating disorders. I tend to attribute it to 1)not talking about it too often, and 2)them not being active often any longer. If t were to forget I self harm or forget my csa, I would be worried (both are active topics of conversation nearly every week).

I'm sorry your T forgot important stuff. I'd be very hurt if my T forgot something important. My T has a pretty good memory, and over time it's gotten even better. We've also worked together for almost nine months, and she remembers things better now than she did when I first started seeing her. I think you should mention it to your T, and let him know you've talked about it before.

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My T has forgotten some vital stuff, and I was scared to remind him, but I was so upset I had to in order to get therapy back on track. In the end, he thanked me for it and said the experience made him a better therapist.

While I could understand T not remembering things mentioned briefly several months ago, I also see why you'd be hurt that she didn't remember. It's so easy to think it's because they don't care or you aren't important or something, rather than her just not holding it all in mind. She's likely to have a number of clients and won't necessarily check older notes before each session.

It would be worth talking to her about it because it's had such an impact on you.

I would bring it up that you felt (hurt, disappointed, shocked, disbelief) whatever your feelings were about it.
I have been in the same situation and never said anything to the t. I let it build up and fester inside and it got so bad I could no longer work with that t. It probably would have been alright if I had of said something at the time. You will know what is best for you.

Mine has forgotten things that felt big to me, but not to her (parent dying when I was 16 and I blamed myself). She said she focuses on themes and emotions. I have had to learn to live with that, especially since I have too much going on now and in the past for her to possibly remember all of it. She is otherwise very good and remembers most things, so I stay. You sort of have to decide what's important, but it is worth telling him that it bothers you.

My guess is your t's age may be a factor in his forgetfulness. My t is in her 60's and is sometimes forgetful with big things. Moreso during our first year together. I used to take it personally and feel rejected and hurt. Not so much now because when I look at the big picture, she does remember a lot. Realistically, she probably remembers more than I do. And the benefits and good I get from my t far outweigh her age-related, and busyness forgetfulness.

You should let your t know that his forgetfulness does upset you. He may be able offer up words of comfort.

One thing that I have done in the past is to write up a little list of important experiences and left it with my T - I did it because I kind of expect people to forget things and to not realize the importance of certain experiences to me, especially in the early days of getting to know each other. I'm not sure if that would make you feel any better, but perhaps it would help with the practical issue of him not understanding the importance of some things in your life or not recalling those things you talked about early on?

Good idea...thanks.

Thanks for emphasizing to be firm. I have problems with that sort of thing...

Thanks...I thought I was the only one who thinks Ts should read client files before appts. - or at least notes from last appt. (sigh)