Couch 114 - Take a Pew

In other news: I can officially change my title now! I've been waiting for this day.

heres a song about wellies

And a very good title it is too.

When can I change mine? I wanna be Optima Maxima.

I think you can. It's something you can do after 2000 posts afair.

I am not doing well. Almost considering cancelling T tomorrow because I'm just unhappy and bitter. But I know I'd never cancel really.

I heard a very triggering phone call today, a woman called in and a man (I'm assuming spouse or significant other) screaming and cursing at her to hang up the phone and "you are not getting out of this car until you hang up the bleeping phone " then tires squealing and a struggle over the phone then silence. I can't identify her, her number was blocked and she never identified herself. I really hope she is okay.

I was stunned speechless and became extremely upset. I'm so glad I don't have to live like that anymore. I think I'll retreat into myself for a while.

Seriously just deep cleaned my entire great room, front room, kitchen, and bathroom because of an irrational thought that t hasn't texted back so she must be on her way to see me. Highly improbable but my brain is weird.

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Okay it finally happened. I forgot to go to class. I've been teaching for 18 years and this is the first. Fortunately it was an online class and the students texted and then called me. Yikes.

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I'm so angry right now. I just hate everything and I'm pissed at everything. **** **** ****!

I had a colleague who would repeatedly forget online class sessions. I've often wanted to forget them myself. Hate online teaching.

(((Stressed)))

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Well, on the up side, you now have a very clean house. If only all irrational thoughts were so productive... Mine never end that well...

Möbius and @@, what do you teach?

(I feel like I should know this... but I don't...)

Autocorrect added the umlaut. Go figure.

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The eight year old is mad at me. Go for it kid, you have no idea how often I want to sell you on Craigslist. (I kid, I kid..)
(It's been a very long day - little boy had a doctor's appointment clean on the other side of town at just the right time to hit heavy traffic in the way home, and I have to be in court tomorrow for a hearing that I know is going to be vacated, but I have to go anyway, and miss T, because the state is being an arse.)

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thank u ellahmae

it would really mean alot to me if he did that on his own rather than me guilt tripping him and asking him to do this.

i am really hoping he does the thoughtful thing...and manages to make time for me.

would mean the world to me.

but i doubt he will do this.

it sucks ...he will see all other clients and be busy...and i miss the oppurtunity.

i think i posted earlier how great last session was and how thankful i was to him...on this thread.
good things come to an end very quickly!

Not ending well because now I feel like I shoukd be punished for such stupid thoughts and irrational hope. Oh, well. Watching baseball and trying to use my skills. If I make it through this week I may never need to go back to therapy.... Joking.

Ice cream for breakfast and lunch. I'm living the (poverty) dream.
Ice cream incredibly affordable, fruit and vege not so much.

Hugs to all.
Not doing well. Ran out of seroquel and the chemist won't give me an emergency suppy greater than a week.

Not stupid at all. It's okay to dream. I was imagining seeing T driving home in traffic today every time I saw a car that looked like his (he drives a really common model). It got me home with my mind intact. Yeah, I know it's not real, but it is soothing. Sometimes I imagine him sitting beside me on my couch...
And you do have a nice clean house... Don't beat yourself up

Well, calcium is important too, especially for those of us looking menopause in the eye...

I'm eating strawberries dipped in a huge container of homemade peach frosting and don't even care that they weren't measured out.... It's Friday right?

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I do have potatoes. Mashed potato.,chips, wedges, potato soup...
A few carrots. I'll survive.

Mmmmm I love potatoes,

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Speaking of irrational fantasies, I'm entertaining the fantasy of having a torrid affair with my ex's lawyer, because the thought amuses me, and I have to go to that stupid hearing tomorrow, and she is kinda cute. Aaaaand, yeaaaaahhh...

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Sometimes that last rehearsal before opening night can be so intense and stressful. It's going to be beautiful; it always comes together when it's supposed to. But Mahler is a bear!

Feel like an idiot. Don't feel safe from myself tonight and t isn't around so I asked a friend to come stay the night with me. I'm pathetic.

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