Couch 114 - Take a Pew

I have been busy and really have nothing to say as per usual. I just didn't post.

I like this- "They don't need to change or harden..."

Are you sensitive?

If no one posts on the Couch...does it really exist?

Discuss.

Does your therapist talk about their religious beliefs? Like, "T, do you believe in God?" "Do you believe in Heaven?" "Do you believe in the devil?"

If your T has a belief system, does s/he tell you if s/he is Catholic/Protestant/Jewish/Agnostic/Atheist/Wiccan etc.?

I wrote on the couch today but then again I'm usually invisible to most unless someone needs something and then I try so hard to please so I can always be seen but it never works.

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Ellahmae...you're not invisible around here. I look forward to your posts.

Thanks @@. Sorry I'm just way too emotional and touchy.

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Yes, my T talks about religious things. It all started because part of my issues has to do with church/religious things. Also, I worked/ my kids go to the same Christian school that T's kids go to. T and I are both Christians and we have talked extensively how the church has come to hurt many people, but how it has helped as well. T has said that he hasn't really spoken so in depth on religion and his own beliefs like he has with me. So, I take it... he in general go about talking about his religious beliefs with anybody. He does not advertise himself as a Christian counselor.

EM - do you have some plans for how to get your alone time when your husband is back home?

He's really good at letting me have my space when I need it. It's just going to be about finding a new routine and balance.

I know the one therapist is jewish and the second one is ex-same religion I was raised. But other than that, it is not discussed. I don't follow one so there is not much reason for it to come up.

No. 1 is Jewish, observant but with a Christian/Buddhist mix, believes in God. No. 2, dunno. No. 3, Jewish, not observant, but respects belief in God.

The problem with playing fantasy baseball is that it's male-dominated and sometimes your league descends into an anatomy-measuring contest, if you know what I mean. Which as the only female owner you can't really participate in.

Think she's sorta Buddhist -- figured out from the interwebs + her saying she does mindfulness stuff (not a direct correlation, I know).

She has also communicated concern and sarcasm (not necessarily in that order) about the various forms of religious nuttiness (not a Western religion) that abound in my family (and the impact on me).

I need to do fantasy baseball next year

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You can actually join single-season 2016 leagues on CBS Sports up till the All-Star break.

T and I have talked some about my beliefs, more questions than beliefs. I'm in a weird place with my health, you know. T literally wouldn't hurt a mouse or spider. Sweet, gentle woman.

She is also genuine, the best I can tell. We've talked about what she believes- and what she doesn't. I'm really almost sorry I asked her. It makes me sad, for me, for her, for us. I don't know if I'm feeling her sadness or mine.

Gonna pull up my big girl undergotchies.

Worrying about being too much with these texts. I have texted T once a week but really want to do it more often. I wish i could get off the pendulum marked "F*** off T" one end and "come closer" the other.

T and I share the same beliefs but she doesn't bring up religion unless I bring it u first.

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I think it can make for a very rich and deep conversation -- not saying it won't be terribly painful or vulnerable but speaking about this 'bigger' stuff with someone like your therapist (and especially when it feels so immediate for you) can be incredibly enriching I think.

Good luck.....with your therapy, health and all else.....

I know that pendulum well. It sucks. It took almost two years for me to be able to text t whenever and whatever and I feel more comfortable with it. Like right now I just sent her so much information and felt bad because she's off this week but she responded and conversed with me about what is bothering me and reassured me that it isnt bothering her and she's glad I talked to her. I don't get angry so I don't know about the f off t side.

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T was so great to me today. he is always kind..but today was different. he was so patient. even i got frustrated with myself..and was afraid..he will too.
he didnt.
he was..like he has always been. calm..attentive..present..fully engaged. no annoyance. no frustration.
how i wish i could thank him for today...for the work he did with me . for all the effort he put in. he didnt have to...i wouldnt know the difference...he is the first T i have ever been to. he can be just average with me...and it will be acceptable. but he is much more than that.
I would like to know when i am really appreciated for the work i have done.
i wonder if he would like the same?
i wonder if it would mean anything to him. or he would read too much into it.
i dont know...
i am at peace in this moment...todays session has instilled this calmness in me.
its weird.
to have someone really meet you where you are...to stand there with you for as long as it takes...happily !!!! it was an amazing experience. to actually not be alone. to matter so much. just wow !
Thank you T.
thank you sooooo muuchhhhhhh !!!!

DF, you haven't been around for a few days. Everything OK? Hope graduation didn't wipe you out.

I didn't mean an angry f off but a panicked i-am-scared-to-get-close f off. If you see what I mean?

I do. That I relate to.