I feel like I'm getting short-changed

My T has similar boundaries or rather, go one step further -- she doesn't take any calls in a crisis. Email and calling on the phone are only okay for scheduling purposes / if I'm running late etc.

I completely agree with ATAT who said that the T having such boundaries is really helpful because I don't have to care about them as a person.

As an example, when I first started therapy, I googled her extensively (as I do everyone I meet) and found out that she'd lost her mother rather young -- now, most of my issues in therapy are around my mother. If she had disclosed that fact about her life (and even if she'd been okay with it), I'm not at all sure I could've said half the stuff I've said in therapy. So, her not disclosing anything at all has been only for my benefit, I'd say.

She's also not at all effusive and nor does she give compliments -- she did though very uncharacteristically end up congratulating me repeatedly about my defense / graduation. It felt more than a bit weird -- it was so odd given her usual poker face demeanor -- and so, I shut it down and changed the topic.

All of that to say that even if my T were to change from her blank-slate persona, I'm actually not sure I'd want it since I think it has distinct benefits (for me that is).

I wish I could tolerate being hugged, and then I wish I had a T who would hug me. But neither is true, so that's that.