The Couch 115: Corduroy Pillows Are Making Headlines!

Well not me but there's lawyers and college teachers on here - it's not like we're a bunch of soccer hooligans! Or rugby...

I applied to be a physicians assistant never got in. Parents of my daughters friend got in and they are still waiting for a position, the nurse practioners over here are a very protective. Plus PA over here are limited in what they can do and our qualifications aren't recognised interantionally. I think only in Norway and California.

I have thought about being a PA.. Problem is a I can follow through with anything, and at almost 32 still don't know what the hell I want to do with myself!

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So, one of the reasons I am having a hard time reaching out to t is because t says I wallow. What am I supposed to say to t I am so depressed.. And he is just going to think I am wallowing in self pity instead of actually believing that I am depressed? Idk what I am supposed to do with that comment

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"Hmmmm... That's not quite how I remember it."

That could be what he meant, yes.

One of the goals of therapy is to get you to the point where you can survive without it.

I would say that many therapists don't do enough to help the patient build her own support network.

I don't think that is necessarily part of a therapist's job at all. I would not go back to a therapist who told me I had to have a "support network". (T as support does not apply to me personally but that doesn't mean I can't understand the concept.) I can't comment on what many therapists do or don't do because I don't have any data on that.

You can see a PA or NP in the grocery store clinic. No appointments, you just walk in. Waiting right now.

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I feel like reaching out is different from wallowing. If you're wallowing, you're just sitting there feeling miserable but not doing anything about it. By reaching out, you're taking action and doing something.

Them have them in some Targets near me, too! It's nice because then if you need a prescription (or just something over the counter), you can get it at the same time.

Hope you get seen quickly and feel better soon!

How do you know when reaching out is appropriate? (General question - not just directed at you.)

I usually reach out when it feels like something - either my sanity or my reluctance to reveal myself to others - has to give. I suspect the opportune moment to reach out is before that point.

So I should undo all the work we have done on expressing feelings and I should crawl back under the rock i originally came from?

I usually reach out using text message when I am feeling like I can't get out of bed because I am so depressed or the urge to run away or kill myself is stronger than usual. I email t for less.. T tell him stuff that happens between sessions or if I am struggling, but not urgent enough to get a hold of t right away.

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For me, it is my T's constant reassurance that reaching out is OKAY, and i do it if i think that sending an e-mail or calling will make me feel a smidge better. She has never rebuffed it, so that helps as well.

No - when I first saw your post I thought your last clause meant you should start telling people how you feel (I didn't realize the tell also went with the stop). I think CE may also have read it that way.

OK I didn't re-read my post to make sure it made sense. Thanks.
I think I see where my T has problems with my communication.

For me, I'd say it's when I'm stuck in some sort of spiral of anxiety or depression or self-hatred. Especially if it's interfering with my ability to function, like I'm just sitting there sobbing or in an extended panic attack, etc.



That's for texts or phone calls, which I think of as more urgent. E-mails might just be because I had a thought about something we discussed in session or maybe if I had a misunderstanding with T or MC, something like that. But not urgent.

I was telling my t that I go to bed reading websites about how to lose massive quantities of weight. One of the recommendations is always to "enlist your support group." I yelled at him that that's a whole nuther project, to build a freaking support group. It's not like just, get off the bus one stop earlier; oh and BTW get your support group to pre cut your veggies for you!

A bit of a dilemma --

Let's say one has the habit of staring intently at random things while kinda zoning out. And, one of the objects that one stares at sometimes is the pendant on a necklace worn by a certain woman.

After about a year, it suddenly dawns on one that such staring would amount to well, significant creepiness (to put it mildly) and has likely been noted by the woman in question since she appears to pull her blouse upwards ever so often.

Would the woman's discomfort decrease or increase if one were to bring it up and apologize profusely (while of course stopping above-mentioned behavior in both cases)?

Would your answer change if said woman is one's therapist?

Totally hypothetical of course, or you know, asking for a friend.

[The.mortification.never.ends]

I would just start staring at something else but would not bother apologizing for anything.

No, I don't think that is what he meant at all.

Now that you are in better touch with your feelings and know how to express them, this might improve your other relationships. That's certainly how it was for me.

Yes, I did. I may have misread or misunderstood.

I'm almost 54 and still trying to figure that out. T is really for me going back to school. But that costs a lot of money and I am old and don't have any. I wonder if there are scholarships for old farts...

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