The Couch 116: Puns Tsar Terrible...

I hope you feel better soon.

You could probably resubmit to your insurance--could say your T made a mistake. I know this would require an awkward conversation with your T about it, but might be worth it financially...since I know you've said paying for therapy can be an issue, especially with your H.

Not sure that these are puns (strictly speaking) but perhaps they will make ailing Couchies chuckle.

34 CSS puns

I like the tower-of-pisa font-style: italic.

Rap artists, word spacing=0 was my fave.

I liked the big bang one, but I would correct it to content=""; which is different than content=" "; the first is empty, the second contains a blank space.

Always have a hard time after pdoc. She focuses on the bad and dark so she knows how bad it is so she can help with meds and then it's hard for me to get out of that dark hole of thoughts. T skims over the bad because she doesn't want to focus on it, so I'm not sure she knows how bad my thoughts really are or if I should even talk about them with her. It's confusing. Everything is confusing. I hate it.

How upsetting for you!
But I imagine she'll get over it.

Oh, but I do!

Got my book in today that my counselor suggested. It's hard to put it down. It's a great book for information about trauma healing and how the mind and body is connected.

It's really written so it's understandable and not in complicated scientific language.

The Body Keeps the Score
By Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D.

If anyone is interested.

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Taco Bell last night. Tonight ordering pizza for the husband. I'm supposed to rest. I don't know how to do that. At all. I wish someone would lock me up in a small room where only 2 people could come see me. One would be T the other would be not my husband.

I'm a bad wife.

I have read and heard him speak a lot (internet stuff) he talks a lot about bpd too.

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That's good to know!! I will efinitely look him up. This is the first time I have read his work and I really like him.

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While we're talking books, my T recommended "Stopping the Noise in Your Head" by Reid Wilson today, and I already ordered it on Amazon (will get it soon--thanks, Prime!) Oddly, she had marked a page on the copy in her office and read it to me, and it sounded so much like me. It's to help deal with the obsessive and anxious thoughts. And something she mentioned today, where if there's something I'm wondering about* and I get that answer, will that satisfy me? Or will I be satisfied for the moment maybe, but then just have other questions? And I was like, "Yeah, probably the second one..." So this book is supposed to help with that.

Anyone read it? He also wrote "Don't Panic," which T recommended shortly after I started seeing her 4 years ago. I read part of that one, and it helped, I think. But she said we've moved on from the need for that one now.

*In this particular case, regarding something with my marriage counselor's family life, but applies to many things.

We've had awkward-er conversations, I suppose! Thing is, I would feel like I was asking her to lie, because I was there longer than 50 minutes for almost all of them. But then another part of my mind keeps saying "but she always says watching the time is HER responsibility, so what's the big deal? She should have written 50 minutes." I dunno if I'll bring it up or not. I have a week and a half to decide.

So much for me having a better relationship with money. I should not even be giving any thought to the whole "should I ask t to rewrite the receipt" dilemma. The growth I have accomplished since starting therapy is worth more than what I have paid. So here I am, for the record, letting it go!!

I am going to ask her to help me be vigilant about the 50 minutes going forward, though, so that when she writes the next one, they will all be for the required max of 50 minutes and not more.

My T was just saying in last week's session that keeping the time boundaries is her responsibility, not mine. And when she lets a client go over, that's bad, because then they expect it in the future. She's gone a couple minutes over with me somewhat recently, but then seemed to end really abruptly last week. I let her know that upset me, and she was a little softer with the ending this week.

My marriage counselor will sometimes keep us considerably over, like 10 or even 20 minutes, if there's serious stuff going on and/or if one of us (usually me!) is really upset. He seems to look for a good ending point. Often, if we're doing OK, that will be 45 or 50 minutes. But sometimes it's an hour or more (this makes him often run late, but I generally accept that, since sometimes other clients need it, sometimes we do). But I'm pretty sure if someone (or the insurance company) said, "What's your set appointment time," he'd say 45-50 minutes, even if he sometimes goes over.

So there's the official answer and what really happens. Your T seems so understanding, that I'm sure if you told her the insurance issue, she'd go in and fix it to say 50 minutes.

Just wrote a new poem I wanted to share:

I'm going to that place inside
only recently discovered
(or maybe re-discovered...
I think it's been there a very long time,
only I lost my way
somewhere in time.)
The world can sometimes do that,
you know,
as if it doesn't want us to remember
how magical we are
as if it's jealous when we start to
so it makes us lose our way.
But this time around I've got the map;
my compass is true,
and with my feet in the cool earth
I'm walking my way
home.

Oh. I was just doing some research into the codes they use for different lengths of sessions. The one she used to use for 45-50 minutes, back when I used to submit before she moved out of state, is no longer in use. There IS no 45-50 minutes anymore from what I am reading. There's a 45 minute code, and a 60 minute code. How incredibly stupid. I don't want to cut back to 45 minutes for the same $100. Now I know I'm just going to leave it alone.

That is beautiful and truth speaking for me! Thank you for sharing this. It gave a part of me hope!!

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That is a great book

A peaceful understanding that, although I lack the words to describe it accurately, is what I am feeling right now about my entire therapeutic process.

Sending out hugs to everyone who wants them and I have a hunch they are a little stronger than usual. Don't anybody be surprised iffn you think you feel a glimmer of one. What do the new agists say? My vibration is high right now.

I may need to put my tin foil hat on in that case.

I respectfully told my vibrations to not go in your direction.