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  #26  
Old Jun 08, 2016, 08:30 AM
Anonymous37816
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Guess she wasn't "the one" after all. ^

My therapist has issues but, unlike him, I won't post them here....or will I????

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  #27  
Old Jun 08, 2016, 08:31 AM
Anonymous35014
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Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight View Post
Yeah, that just sounds like normal sadness rather than depression. Maybe he was trying to empathize?
I think he was, but the way he said it, it sort of felt like he was dismissing my depression. I knew he meant well, though.

I came into that therapy session bawling my eyes out because I was severely depressed and suicidal. He kept asking me what caused my depression, and I responded with, "nothing". He kept insisting my depression was due to something, and that's when he proceeded to give his "example"... but bipolar depression often happens without a trigger. There is no environmental trigger.
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  #28  
Old Jun 08, 2016, 08:35 AM
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Originally Posted by bluebicycle View Post
I think he was, but the way he said it, it sort of felt like he was dismissing my depression. I knew he meant well, though.

I came into that therapy session bawling my eyes out because I was severely depressed and suicidal. He kept asking me what caused my depression, and I responded with, "nothing". He kept insisting my depression was due to something, and that's when he proceeded to give his "example"... but bipolar depression often happens without a trigger. There is no environmental trigger.
You'd think as a T he'd know that depression doesn't need a trigger...
  #29  
Old Jun 08, 2016, 08:45 AM
missbella missbella is offline
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They all needed to feel superior, to domineer and pretend-rescue, and to have their words received as sacred and infallible.
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  #30  
Old Jun 08, 2016, 09:02 AM
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Originally Posted by missbella View Post
They all needed to feel superior, to domineer and pretend-rescue, and to have their words received as sacred and infallible.

I've never personally run into a therapist who had that attitude nor would I have worked with one that did. I'm sorry that all of the ones you worked with came from that mindset.
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  #31  
Old Jun 08, 2016, 09:15 AM
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In dealing with those guys in my professional life - I have found that some, I would say many even, are good at appearing one way for clients but really being another when not in front of the client.
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  #32  
Old Jun 08, 2016, 09:20 AM
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Originally Posted by lolagrace View Post
I've never personally run into a therapist who had that attitude nor would I have worked with one that did. I'm sorry that all of the ones you worked with came from that mindset.
The attitude is not necessarily blatant or on the surface. It is more likely to become obvious when a client is (in their language) "non-compliant." Which choice of words itself indicates the attitude.
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  #33  
Old Jun 08, 2016, 09:25 AM
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Originally Posted by atisketatasket View Post
The attitude is not necessarily blatant or on the surface. It is more likely to become obvious when a client is (in their language) "non-compliant." Which choice of words itself indicates the attitude.
I was not an easy client by any means and would definitely at times have been called "non-compliant" I suppose, and still have never run into this attitude. I'm not saying it doesn't exist. As I said, I'm sorry missbella did run into that attitude rather regularly in her experience.
  #34  
Old Jun 08, 2016, 09:56 AM
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Back to the purpose of this thread:

I am not particularly concerned about whether a therapist or pdoc has struggled with mental health issues in the past; I suspect many of them have or have dealt personally with people in their lives who did. I am more concerned that they have their mental health issues under decent management so that their issues don't impact my care; I want a therapist or pdoc who is pretty darned stable and competent in their own self-care, boundaries, able to be consistent and work effectively with clients. I do fear there is not enough oversight of therapy candidates to be sure their own stability and self-awareness is at a point that they can separate their own "stuff" from the work with their clients.

I ran into a couple of therapists who gave me a fairly immediate feeling they were using their work as a therapist as an avenue for their own personal "work" on their own issues. I picked up on that very early on and headed for the hills as fast as I could.
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  #35  
Old Jun 08, 2016, 10:19 AM
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AllHeart AllHeart is offline
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My t had a lot of trauma and neglect in childhood and early adult life and she still struggles with the effects of that in late life. She has been in therapy a few times throughout her life. She has her fair share of mental health issues which is why she is filled with incredible amounts of understanding and compassion for me. I need that as a foundation.

First hand experience gives therapists a knowing that can't fully be understood just by reading a text book. Personally, I will not see a talk therapist who hasn't "been there" themselves.
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  #36  
Old Jun 08, 2016, 11:14 AM
missbella missbella is offline
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Originally Posted by atisketatasket View Post
The attitude is not necessarily blatant or on the surface. It is more likely to become obvious when a client is (in their language) "non-compliant." Which choice of words itself indicates the attitude.
Yes, I found they were the kindly therapists provided I was duly obedient and worshipful. I only saw the other side when I disagreed with their magnificent judgments or in retrospect when I understood their omniscience, interpretations for me and fortune telling were indeed overreach. I paid the price, with their wrath, for leaving.

I know one therapist in a non-professional capacity. She's perhaps the most vainglorious, presumptuous human being I've met in my lifetime. She's maintained an ongoing practice for a number of years though.
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  #37  
Old Jun 08, 2016, 03:39 PM
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Different therapists I have had over the years have mentioned having mental health issues. One was an alcoholic and was sexually abused. ANother was an alcoholic and married someone she wasn't in love with. Another one lost her son and had family members with schizophrenia. Another one had her father die while I was working with her and had family issues. None of us are immune, not even therapists.

Last edited by bounceback; Jun 08, 2016 at 03:40 PM. Reason: grammar
  #38  
Old Jun 08, 2016, 03:45 PM
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Well my therapist clearly has some major issues of her own. She would have to be some sort of super masochist to put up with me for all these years.
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  #39  
Old Jun 08, 2016, 05:23 PM
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One therapist I had (if you can call her that) had a rock on her desk that she glued eyes and hair and a mouth on it that she thought was alive and talked to her. She gave it some weird name and would talk to "him" about how she should deal with me. If that doesn't say mental issues, I don''t know what does. I am so glad I got away from her pretty quickly.
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  #40  
Old Jun 08, 2016, 07:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cinnamon_Stick View Post
One therapist I had (if you can call her that) had a rock on her desk that she glued eyes and hair and a mouth on it that she thought was alive and talked to her. She gave it some weird name and would talk to "him" about how she should deal with me. If that doesn't say mental issues, I don''t know what does. I am so glad I got away from her pretty quickly.
every time i hear this story, i simultaneously laugh because it is so RIDICULOUS, and cry on the inside because it is so insane...and she is a T!
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  #41  
Old Jun 08, 2016, 09:47 PM
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I honestly don't know whether my T has mental illness issues of her own. It's my opinion that most individuals go into this field for a reason beyond wanting to help others - often, they either appreciate the help they received and want to pay it forward to others, wish that they had received better care and understanding, or stood witness to someone close to them experienced either of the above. So, in saying that, I would venture to guess that she has some issues of her own or someone close to her has or has had struggles.

My therapist does share little bits of her life with me, but it is in passing. We are still relatively new to working with one another and, admittedly, I am a handful and much of our session is her trying to get me to take (or not take) an action of some sort. She will insert her own experiences in here and there, but her focus is on me during the session and only brings things up about herself, in my opinion, strategically. And, that is okay with me. She divulges enough to make me feel comfortable, but I remain the focus of our time together.

My dietitian has shared with me that she is in recovery from an eating disorder. We have never spoken at length about her experience, but she will offer anecdotes and insight when it's appropriate to do so.

Both my T and dietitian do model healthy coping skills and reactions to emotions. They will name their emotions, at times, and share the skills they're using to get through the feelings into a more rational head space. They don't hide their emotions - my therapist wouldn't be very good at that because her facial expressions give her away. But, at the same time, they do not make their feelings my problem. I never feel as though I have to take care of them and they remain strong in the face of whatever I throw at them. They're consistent and patient. And, I'm learning from both my therapist and dietitian that emotions are a part of living life. And, instead of trying to run from them, embracing them and allowing myself to learn how to cope with them will help me have a life worth living versus simply existing.

I do believe both receive counseling of their own as well as continued supervision/clinical support. And, I can honestly say that I would be uncomfortable if they weren't. In the end, I don't care whether they have their own mental health issues or not. What matters to me is that they would seek appropriate care so that they can be healthy for their clients. And, neither my T or dietitian have given me a reason to doubt their stability or ability to care for me. In fact, they've proven time and time again that I, too, can learn to face my emotions instead of ignoring them or refusing to sit with them, understand them, or work on them.
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  #42  
Old Jun 09, 2016, 03:45 AM
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Don't think so. But she wouldn't tell me such a thing if she did.
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  #43  
Old Jun 09, 2016, 03:59 AM
Anonymous37827
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I'm fairly sure he's riddled with mh issues.... And I wouldn't have him any other way
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  #44  
Old Jun 09, 2016, 06:37 AM
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I don't think being upset over a break up ( for a reasonable time)or having something bad happened and being sad about is the same as having mental health issue.

Also IMHO and experience although some people do go to this profession due to their own mental issues, it's not universal reason. As in any profession there are many reasons people do what they do.



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  #45  
Old Jun 09, 2016, 08:03 AM
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My T experienced trauma and had intensive psychotherapy to deal with it. I'm comfortable with that.

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  #46  
Old Jun 09, 2016, 10:03 AM
Anonymous45127
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Ex T said she wasn't diagnosed with anything. She did say she'd been caned / switched and belted though, so I feel she has been physically abused.

Current T has said she hasn't been diagnosed with depression or anxiety. She looks so 'perfect' but then, that doesn't mean she hasn't struggled with mental disorders before. She was also caned / switched and said her parents were "permissive" so perhaps she was at least emotionally neglected?
  #47  
Old Jun 09, 2016, 10:12 AM
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I was disciplined with switches and belts and I would not say I have been abused. It can be abuse, but does not have to be, in my opinion
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  #48  
Old Jun 09, 2016, 10:34 AM
Anonymous45127
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I was disciplined with switches and belts and I would not say I have been abused. It can be abuse, but does not have to be, in my opinion
Where's the line? I've tried asking both Ts where's the line in:
  • Number of strokes per episode
  • Frequency of episodes
  • Whether there were welts
  • Whether there were bruises
  • Whether there was blood
  • Whether the parent/sibling/caregiver was angry or calm
But they refuse to answer.
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  #49  
Old Jun 09, 2016, 10:44 AM
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Originally Posted by QuietMind View Post
Where's the line? I've tried asking both Ts where's the line in:
  • Number of strokes per episode
  • Frequency of episodes
  • Whether there were welts
  • Whether there were bruises
  • Whether there was blood
  • Whether the parent/sibling/caregiver was angry or calm
But they refuse to answer.
Personally, I feel like caning/switching/etc. is abuse, regardless of those factors. The parent may not be intentionally abusing their child, but by using this form of punishment, they are abusing the child.
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  #50  
Old Jun 09, 2016, 11:10 AM
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For me switches and belts is absolutely abuse. Never dreamed of doing this to my child. Also just because a victim doesn't recognize it as abuse it doesn't mean it's not. Again many disagree.

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