[lifelongsojourn]

Or do you think they care for certain ones more than others? Afterall they are human, right?

[stopdog]

I assume they like some people better than others. Why would it matter?

I assume there are clients they know better, have worked with longer, and just like as people better just because of personality dynamics.

[LadyShadow]

My therapist says I'm "one" of his favorite clients. Good enough for me

[atisketatasket]

Does it matter so long as they do their job?

To answer your question, I'm sure they do, because that is human nature. But so long as it did not affect their treatment of clients, I would not be concerned.

[ruh roh]

Originally Posted by lifelongsojourn

Or do you think they care for certain ones more than others? Afterall they are human, right?

I think they care about doing a good job for all their clients. It's hard to know beyond that, because people see them for so many different reasons.

(And I hope this does not turn into a special snowflake thread.)

[awkwardlyyours]

Originally Posted by ruh roh

(And I hope this does not turn into a special snowflake thread.)

This was just

The special snowflake thread is just begging to be started now (in title at least that is).

[ruh roh]

Originally Posted by awkwardlyyours

This was just

The special snowflake thread is just begging to be started now (in title at least that is).

NOOOOoooooooooooooo

[Rive.]

As part of the human species, I believe people don't care equally. Preference is bound to take place. What is most important is how they deal with that. This, more than anything imo, can impact not only on someone therapy but well-being. A skilled-decent-ethical therapist will know how to deal that appropriately.

No they don't care equally. Mine preferred someone who was prettier. LOOKS are EVERYTHING TO HIM. I was terribly hurt that his preference is based on appearances (and I'm not a bum in ragged clothes). He gave her everything she wanted and he gave me the boot as soon as he finished exploiting, mocking and degrading me. Oh, correction, that continues on with the lovely one.

[Ididitmyway]

I always cared equally about doing my work as well as I could with each client. Personal likes and dislikes are a separate matter. Of course, I liked some people a little more than others, it's only natural, but I never disliked any client of mine.

I don't think a therapist can work with someone they actively dislike from the beginning. Besides, it's not ethical too.

If someone triggers strong negative feelings in you from the day one, it'd interfere with your ability to show objectivity and compassion, and both qualities are a must for effective counseling. It'd be unfair to that person and to yourself to force yourself to work with them. Ethically, you have to refer them out.

But, frankly, it usually doesn't get to that point. People feel it immediately when you dislike them and they just don't come back so the problem solves itself.

[Ellahmae]

No. Not in my opinion.

Originally Posted by lifelongsojourn

Or do you think they care for certain ones more than others? Afterall they are human, right?

Do you care about sime more than others? I'd call that either caring or not caring. Those we don't care about we don't engage with. We don't keep them in our life. Same with T's. My T told me she decides whether she's able to work 'care' about someone in the initial interview session.
She's not into playing games. Is she feels she couldn't care for someone, than she doesn't take them on.

[SarahSweden]

Unfortunately, from my perspective, I don´t think they care about clients equally. My T has said she couldn´t work with a client she doesn´t like but that doesn´t mean she cares equally of all of us. I think they have personal preferences of how a "good" client should be and clients who match them in similar clothing styles, perhaps realising having similar interests and so on get a bit more liked. But I think they care about all their patients but not neccessarily equally.

Originally Posted by lifelongsojourn

Or do you think they care for certain ones more than others? Afterall they are human, right?

[Lauliza]

As professionals, ethical Ts will care about doing their job to the best of their ability, which means caring for all clients equally. They will like certain clients more than others, it's just human nature, but that is separate from caring. And besides, as ididitmyway said, it's unethical for a T to stay with a client they strongly dislike.

[stopdog]

I don't think many of them admit to themselves when they don't like a client so much that the therapist believes they cannot work with a client.
I put no faith in them telling a client they won't be hired by the client due to ethical considerations over their dislike of the client.
They are not supposed to sleep with clients either due to ethics - and it happens all the time.

[Waterbear]

This is unrelated really but follows on from Stopdogs post a little. I was surprised when I was interviewing Ts that none of them said that they probably weren't the best person to help me. This despite the fact that several said that they were not used to or comfortable working in the way that my last T and I had agreed would be best for me.

In fact, last T was the only person who has admitted that even if she was allowed she probably wasn't the best person for the job. Everyone else just would have ploughed on in and caused problems down the line. I am lucky that I had my senses enough to weed them out but unfortunately not everyone is in the same position. They need to be able to realise that they have a responsibility to refer people elsewhere if they believe they would not be a good fit rather than leaving it up to the client who may not be able to see as clearly.

[Lauliza]

Originally Posted by Waterbear

This is unrelated really but follows on from Stopdogs post a little. I was surprised when I was interviewing Ts that none of them said that they probably weren't the best person to help me. This despite the fact that several said that they were not used to or comfortable working in the way that my last T and I had agreed would be best for me.

In fact, last T was the only person who has admitted that even if she was allowed she probably wasn't the best person for the job. Everyone else just would have ploughed on in and caused problems down the line. I am lucky that I had my senses enough to weed them out but unfortunately not everyone is in the same position. They need to be able to realise that they have a responsibility to refer people elsewhere if they believe they would not be a good fit rather than leaving it up to the client who may not be able to see as clearly.

I agree that not all Ts are as forthcoming as they should be when they may not be a good fit for a client. It does happen though - it happened to me on three separate occasions. I was told by one T that I might be better in group than individual therapy and another suggested terminating because I wasn't fully engaging in the process (like CBT homework). I do think the second T was getting annoyed and I could feel we weren't clicking. The first counselor I took my daughter to before she was diagnosed said didn't have the expertise to be of any real help, since she suspected autism.

So it happens more often than people think. I think one factor may be how well established the T's business is - if they don't necessarily need more clients, they may be less willing to work with people they don't like. Or they may just be genuine, which I think was the case with the one I took my daughter to.

[Waterbear]

Thank you, I am glad to hear that.

[Lauliza]

Originally Posted by Waterbear

Thank you, I am glad to hear that.

I suspect private practice therapists- the ones who work totally alone- are always the riskiest for multiple reasons. In this case, a solo practice is one of the harder ones to keep afloat financially so they're less likely to turn people away. There aren't as many waiting lists or automatic referrals, hence, they'll take on most (or all) clients that come to them.

Originally Posted by Lauliza

I suspect private practice therapists- the ones who work totally alone- are always the riskiest for multiple reasons. In this case, a solo practice is one of the harder ones to keep afloat financially so they're less likely to turn people away. There aren't as many waiting lists or automatic referrals, hence, they'll take on most (or all) clients that come to them.

And your proof of this? Where did you get this info?

[Lauliza]

Originally Posted by _Mouse

And your proof of this? Where did you get this info?

My info comes from other Ts (I just graduated my T masters program) - I'm aware of how referrals work and how difficult it is to start up and maintain a solo private practice. I didn't say it applies to everyone, I just said I suspect it's a factor in some cases. It's also probably ego any lots of other reasons too.

You suspect?I think integrity plays a part in bring a therapy. If they lie to themselves about why they have a client than therapy wouldn't work. The client would leave. How would that then benefit a T? I think we tell ourselves storues that fit our narrative on life.

[Lauliza]

It doesn't benefit a T, I never said it did. I've never heard a T talk about disliking clients - it's not a topic of conversation I've engaged in. However, some poster's suggest that some Ts stay with clients they dislike and I offered a possible explanation as to why. It's not right or ethical, but I think it's been established that Ts don't ways make good decisions and aren't always ethical. My response has nothing to do with my own personal or professional philosophies, so please don't make that kind of assumption.

Originally Posted by Lauliza

It doesn't benefit a T, I never said it did. I've never heard a T talk about disliking clients - it's not a topic of conversation I've engaged in. However, some poster's suggest that some Ts stay with clients they dislike and I offered a possible explanation as to why. It's not right or ethical, but I think it's been established that Ts don't ways make good decisions and aren't always ethical. My response has nothing to do with my own personal or professional philosophies, so please don't make that kind of assumption.

You made the assumption. I was just adding reality it to it.