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#1
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My T has a lot of cancer on both sides of her family; her parents and other close relatives died of it. One kind has a very bad prognosis. She is healthy now but it suddenly occurred to me that her family history is scary. I know she had genetic testing because I did too, but she didn't want to talk about her so much, of course. She's a lot younger than I am, but that's irrelevant because she's over 50.
I know worrying about T's health serves no positive purpose. What will be, will be. It popped into my mind when I read someone's obituary today. |
![]() Cinnamon_Stick, LonesomeTonight
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#2
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No I don't. The two I see are both 70 to 70+. It is not unlikely that they may die or retire but I don't worry about it. I am not much of a worrier about my health or the health of others in general (and my bff/ex has advanced stage cancer and lives with me for the most part) and not at all about someone I consider to be a stranger and not in my real life.
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Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
![]() rainbow8
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#3
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My T has diabetes, high cholesterol, heart disease, he smokes, he eats fast food all the time, and he's at least 150 lbs overweight... at the tender age of 32.
I don't "worry" too much about it, but I do find it sad that he has chosen this path for himself. I think it's normal to worry about other people, regardless if they're your T. |
![]() rainbow8
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#4
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Rainbow, as someone from a family with such a strong history of cancer that our family literally has been part of research studies, I can tell you that most of us living in families with strong familial cancer tendencies do not spend our lives worrying about cancer. We are aware and get the needed check-ups and testing, and we lead as healthy lives as we can, but beyond that, what good does it do to worry about it? We know that if and when it comes, it will come and there really is nothing we can do but deal with it in the moment.
You've seemed a bit preoccupied with cancer and medical issues since your husband's illness and death which is understandable to a point, but do try not to let it become a focus in your life. All anyone can do is lead their life and deal with what it throws at them when it happens. Worrying about what might happen or might never even happen is just anxiety-making. |
![]() Cinnamon_Stick, rainbow8, taylor43
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#5
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No - I am not sure what the point would be. It won't help either the therapist or the client.
If a disease were actually present - mostly I would want to know if it meant they couldn't do their job. |
![]() rainbow8
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#6
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i worry a lot about her health even though she is in good health.
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![]() Ellahmae, rainbow8
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#7
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Quote:
The thing is: unlike you, I don't consider my T a stranger. I think of her like family or a very close friend. I care about her as a person who has her own family, of course. I would hate to see her life cut short for any reason! |
#8
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I worry about T's health a lot. She's in good health but still has problems - genetically so to speak. She's not at high risk for anything but I still worry. What happens if she's just gone one day? I want to ask her about this and have her leave me a letter or something if she does. Then again, I worry about everything, always.
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**the curiosity can kill the soul but leave the pain and every ounce of innocence is left inside her brain**
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![]() rainbow8
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![]() rainbow8
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#9
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Quote:
I am not happy if someone dies, just that I don't spend time on it, particularly where I have no reason to believe it is imminent.
__________________
Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
![]() rainbow8
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#10
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If my T would die, I wouldn't see anyone else for therapy. I can't replace her, and wouldn't want to. |
#11
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I worry about my pdoc. I know that her mom had Alzheimer's, and that she used to be a heavy smoker.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
![]() rainbow8
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#12
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My t is in her late 60's and I do worry about her health, both mental and physical, to some degree. I believe thoughts are energy so when I find myself worrying about this stuff I try to tell myself the opposite - that t is healthy on all levels - because I do not want my negative energy to be a contributor to any sort of illness. Nor do I want do be plagued with the grief the worrisome thoughts bring me of course. But mostly, I do not want to manifest illness upon her, or anyone for that matter.
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![]() rainbow8
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#13
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my T is very healthy. i worry more about him dying in some freak accident
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![]() rainbow8
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#14
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I worry about my family in cars and planes, especially with people talking on cell phones while driving!! |
#15
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I worry about it from time to time, especially when my own health is bad. I always worry that she won't be able to take care of me.
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![]() rainbow8
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#16
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I do, my therapist is like 70 and I told him I'm scared he will have a heart attack or something WHILE I'm in session. My parents are both in their mid to late 60s so I'm really worried about losing all of my "authority" figures...lots of celebrities have been dying lately around their age, so I think it's fair to be worried.
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![]() rainbow8
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#17
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The T I ended with has something that is rare and serious if not for her treatments. I have always worried about her and still do. I don't want anything bad to happen to her. I try to tell myself that she has treatments and she takes care of herself and is healthy overall. I think its normal to worry about someone you really care about.
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![]() rainbow8
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#18
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I do but only lately. We spent nearly a whole session talking abut what would happen if he died.
I wanted to know if he had a plan in place in the unlikely event, all I got was "I hope someone would let you know" I still want to talk more about this. Last edited by Anonymous37844; Jun 08, 2016 at 05:51 PM. |
![]() rainbow8
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![]() rainbow8
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#19
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I do. Starting a couple of years ago, she was missing work because of a new illness. She decided she wanted to honest with her clients. What she has is treatable but it can have flareups. She knows that I worry so she makes sure when she is out due to illness to let me know but to tell me if there were med changes, etc. She also lets me some of the lifestyle changes she has made. She has missed a lot less sessions since the changes. So knowing on this I worry a less.
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![]() rainbow8
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#20
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no because she is pretty young and seemingly healthy.
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![]() rainbow8
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#21
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My t is healthier than me by a long shot, so no I don't worry about her health.
__________________
"I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers which can't be questioned." --Richard Feynman |
![]() rainbow8
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#22
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I worry a little bit, but at the same time I know illness and death is a part of life and there ain't anything anyone can do about.
I only have email contact with my ex t, and sometimes not for years at a time. One day I know there will be no reply. It probably won't be for a long time yet. But yeah. Sh&t happens. |
![]() Cinnamon_Stick, rainbow8
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#23
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I have worried very much about my therapist dying suddenly, though he is barely middle-aged and in apparently healthy shape. I am getting better about it, partly because I made him come up with a plan for me in case he does shuffle off early, and also because I have spent a long time in therapy dealing with the aftereffects of several traumatic losses. |
![]() awkwardlyyours
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![]() awkwardlyyours, rainbow8, Rive.
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#24
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I absolutely do. But worrying is my specialty. My T had cancer surgery a few months ago and cancelled one of our sessions back in Novemberish for a "medical procedure" before he broke the news that he had been diagnosed. I knew something was up from the way he was all vague about it and I just had a gut feeling, so when he said the words "I have cancer" (even though a very easily treatable cancer) my anxiety brain had a field day for a few weeks. Especially when my grandfather died not long after that. I never discussed it with him though because he was the one actually diagnosed with cancer and it didn't really feel appropriate to make any of it about my fears.
He's fine now (I assume) but I still got a little anxious last week when he mentioned a doctor's appointment. But this is what I do--I think of worst-case scenarios about losing people when I let myself care about them. When I was little I would sometimes cry myself to sleep at night thinking about the thought of losing my mom...So this is a familiar feeling. |
![]() rainbow8
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![]() rainbow8
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#25
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As far as I can tell, my T is in good health. I know she eats healthy. And she's now been drinking some sort of green concoction. Her hip bothered her one day. Probably has something to do with her short stature. She said it's happened before. But no, in general I don't worry about my T.
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"Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
![]() rainbow8
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