[NeedToKnowMom]

I have a few questions anyone's advice would be great or just what I should do. My daughter is 15 she has been in therapy since March 07. At first I just thought it was teenage setting in but after the second attempt of trying to kill her 16 year old sister among other things I knew I had to do something! My question is this her therapist has only spoken with me once and after all this time my daughter is not getting any better and who knows what Jamie is telling her.........But this is what I go thru daily and nightly Aliens are kidnapping her at night, people are driving by with thier cars glowing and gonna do a driveby, the cats will not quit talking to her, people are outside her window and I could go on and on. And she acts like different people like last week we were coming home from her session and she looks at me and says "Mom I don't look like Jamie anymore do I" this really scares me.

Last week after her session her therapist calls me and says she thinks she don't need to see Jamie any longer I was floored I said I agreed on every other week for a month. then today I recieve a letter from her stating that she is on maternity leave and the other therapist will not be scheduling appts with her patients but if I need her she attached the new therapist number & ext. And I also wanted to add that she has cancelled 2 appts & one I drove there & it is a 45 minute drive one way and she is in a faculty meeting & just last week her appt was at 1 pm she came out to get Jamie at 1:40 pm and we were on our way home at 2:05.

I have been very forgiving with her pregancy. I am thinking of calling and speaking with her supervisor on Monday to see if I could get another person or something I know that this is not normal behavior and my heart is breaking for her. It is driving me crazy to see her this way I just want to help her and I would rather it be sooner than later. Thanks, Cyndi

[Maven]

This therapist is awful! Doesn't sound like she cares much for her patients. I suggest finding a new one. Your daughter clearly needs serious help from someone who cares about their patients. If she's trying to kill her sister, though, she may need care in a mental hospital for a while. The rest of your family shouldn't have to live in fear for their lives. This isn't abandoning your daughter, but getting her the help she needs.

Hi Cyndi,

You definitely need to see if you can get someone else (read someone competent) to see your daughter - and preferably sever ties with this therapist even if she comes back from maternity leave. How on earth can she say that she doesn't need to see your daughter anymore?!

Your daughter needs help and it doesn't seem to be forthcoming. Does your daughter take medication? Maybe this ought to be considered if it is not the case.

It mustn't be easy for you.... Don't give up!

[MissCharlotte]

((Cyndi))

I am sorry you are having such a hard time and Jamie is not well.

Have you discussed your concerns with Jamie? How does she feel about ending therapy? I think that would be a good place to begin.

Maybe you need a referral to a family therapist to sort out things together?

Just some thoughts.

[bipolar_bear]

(((((((((((((((((((((((Cyndi)))))))))))))))))))))) What Jamie's therapist is doing is totally out of line. What does Jamie think? Maybe you could discuss finding another therapist and maybe a pdoc to help sort things out. It sounds like this is a very serious situation. Please don't give up and find Jamie the help she needs. Take care. PM me anytime.

BB

[sidony]

Yeah I'll agree with everyone else that a different therapist is in order. Your daughter definitely needs someone who can be really consistent. Is she seeing a psychiatrist also? She may need medication.

I'd suggest having her see a therapist once a week instead of every other week. I think that's the most helpful though it's definitely expensive. There's less time to forget everything between sessions. A good therapist could probably help your daughter a lot. Have you checked around for referrals from people you know? It's awfully hard to pick a therapist without. Someone who specialize in working with teens. I know there are some good threads somewhere on this site about picking therapists...

I hope things improve for you and your family.
Sidony

[NeedToKnowMom]

Thank you everyone for your replies, Jamie is on NO MEDS. I went thru our school system & this is the place they referred me to but first thing Monday morning I am going to call our family doctor and take a new path. Jamie doesn't think she needs to go in the first place and this is very frustrating cause she tells me I am a bad person for making her go. In Feb of this year I took a month leave of absent my plans were to get her back in line as I felt she was going down the wrong roads well while being at home I started noticing all the other things she was doing this child NEVER sleeps for one . So for now I have continued to stay at home and this seems to help with all the problems between her & her sister. All this is very new to me and sometimes I don't know what to do or who to ask. I guess that is why I found this board and it has been great I have done alot of reading here and found alot of my answers here so I just want to also say Thanks A Bunch Cyndi

[sidony]

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NeedToKnowMom said:
Jamie doesn't think she needs to go in the first place and this is very frustrating cause she tells me I am a bad person for making her go.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Eh, she's just being a teenager. And you clearly have her best interest at heart. One of my close friends in real life is a therapist who works with teenagers. Most of the teens who come to see her don't really want to be there, but she has all kinds of techniques to get through to them in spite of it. Chances are, your daughter will come to like going to therapy after a while (though it may take quite some time). It can really do wonders if you can find a therapist who works well with her. That's the hard part! But there are lots of good therapists out there, and you may be able to get some referrals from the family doc. And I'd like to stress again that weekly visits will help the most (and you can cut back over time).

I was so-so about the idea of therapy when I decided to try it for myself. I've really been amazed at the profound effect it's had on my life. I certainly wish someone had sent me to therapy when I was a teen!

Best of luck,
Sidony

[Rhapsody]

Yes..... I would speak with her supervisor about this behavior and then seek another T and quickly.

Please hang in there and do NOT give up on your self or your daughter - you both need someone that can help the entire family, so that you all may HEAL.

Also, please know that T can and will take some time even with a GOOD THERAPIST....... it took me 8 years in all in counseling and I still work on myself and what's left to heal from every day - every hour.

<font color="purple"> ((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS ))))))) </font>

YOU are a WONDERFUL MOTHER, for CARING so much.

[tranquility]

Hi there,

This just sounds so odd! I'm very surprised that she is not on medication. She clearly has some serious issues and I don't blame you for being extremely worried about her. It sounds like it's a good thing that therapist is gone.

I also know that even though she is 16 she has privacy and the therapist can't discuss alot with you; however, a therapist should be able to listen to your concerns and let you know where things are at. For instance, you should be able to go to a therapist with the fact that your other daughter may be in danger and what types of things this daughter is saying.

Definatley go to your regular doctor and ask for some advice and help - you definately need some stronger professional assistance.

I'm thinking of you and your daughter.

Tranquility

[withit]

If a child is in danger of being killed by a sibling I would take the sibling to the emergency room for a psychiatric evaluation. If there is a real threat this ought to be done pronto. imho.

[Maven]

Yeah, I wouldn't worry about her calling you a "bad person." Children and teens (and even adults) often get angry and lash out when forced to do something they don't like, but hopefully she'll understand in the future. Tell her it would make you a bad person if you didn't try to help her have a wonderful life in the future, and that's what you're trying to do. She doesn't have to agree. A big part of being a parent is making decisions for your kids that they don't like.