appreciation - thanks!

Interesting -- mine's the opposite. Gets really peeved and keeps questioning me about how I don't feeeeeeeel she cares beyond what her professional ethics would dictate because you know, my f-ed up stuff. I've told her I'm really good with just the competence and that the reason I show up is because of her competence and not how she feeeeeeels about me.

But beyond getting peevish and harping over that, I doubt she'd ever be remotely caught dead doing things like check-in emails or extending session times or basically do anything to actually provide evidence. The email stuff would go against her written contract for starters.

It sucks only because it brings up crap for me on how people in my life would insist they're doing much more than I actually perceive (i.e., I'm just being an ungrateful snot etc). So, I feel like I have to somehow assuage her ego at times by saying something like "Yesss, I feeeeeeel your caring" (because well, you've not yelled at me or humiliated me like I'm usually used to) or basically kowtow and say that "Yes, I'm so f-ed up that I clearly can't see that you're dripping with care".

I would feel so much more comfortable if she'd just get off the business of me putting a stamp of approval on her "caring". She's pretty okay otherwise and in session, has been rather gentle when I've hit some low lows. So yeah, I am quite appreciative of that (contrary to what one might expect, I haven't always gotten that from therapists).

I appreciate so much about t and this t relationship. It is hard to try to list! I guess way at the top of the list would be I appreciate the tremendous amount of patience she has had with me, and her consistency. And her graciousness in scheduling last-minute sessions after I've said no to them when it was still in advance. Her sense of humor. Her fearlessness when it comes to asking hard questions. I could go on and on.

My tdoc is simply phenomenal at his job. Superb intellect and insight, doesn't try to CBT me, allows judicious phone calls between sessions, nonjudgmental, kind, caring, a little nerdy (which I like and can relate to), goes above and beyond - wrote me a beautiful recommendation when I needed a character reference for something, etc. Doesn't freak out no matter how crazy I get or feel. He also saved my life when I'd printed out an application for a gun permit to kill myself, without sending me to the hospital.

O.M.G that is such a lame statement. I appreciate you for so much more than that. Mostly I appreciate that you are you. But Im really uncomfortable saying **** like this and i never know how to say it

Thanks for this. I've had to think about whether or not, if given a choice, would I want something verbalized or shown. I'm appreciating the later, I think, although it's confusing and not always apparent. Verbal support or assurances would have been easy to dismiss and discount.