I have a therapy session tomorrow and I'd really appreciate your help

Essentially, I want to become more social and make more friends. I only have 1 friend in real life, and currently, we only text each other. We don't meet up anymore.

I want to make more friends, but I don't think my therapist knows that I only have 1 friend. When my therapist asked me before if I had friends, I said "yeah" without actually thinking about what I was saying. So, I think he assumes I have friends and that I'm satisfied with my social life, since I've never actually complained about it.

How do I bring this issue up? It's a very difficult issue for me to talk about. I don't feel comfortable saying that I basically have no friends... but at the same time, I would like his advice and support.

Ideally, I would love for him to help introduce me to people (because he's roughly my age), but I know that would never ever happen because of client-therapist boundaries. That's just a fantasy of mine. *sigh*

[A Red Panda]

I've no idea what you usually discuss with your t.

But chances are, he knows you don't have many friends. Most of the time people will bring up the people in their life throughout discussions. As you would never be mentioning friends he has probably picked up on the fact that you don't have many.

Do you interact with people casually? You could maybe take a class or join some activity or volunteering. You'd get to meet people with some similar interests as you at least.

Yeah, that's true. I didn't think of it that way. You're right that I would be talking about my friends if I actually had any.

I do interact with people casually, but I'm usually so busy with work that it's become a real hassle. I mean, I start at 7:00-7:30 am and end around 5:00 pm, so I'm totally wiped out by the end of the day. I'm thankfully allowed to work from home, so that cuts out the travel part, but still.

I'll look into taking classes maybe. That sounds like a good idea. I've always wanted to learn how to do sailboating actually. But, I also wouldn't mind sitting in a few academic courses to boost my credentials.

[skeksi]

I have a similar problem. i think we are not alone with this and your T will have some good suggestions for how you might find ways to meet people you would like to be around.

I get social time from a group hobby I do on the weekends. I am also working on making friendships at work that extend outside (but it's been hard going, to be honest). Share this with your T!

[junkDNA]

ive lost a lot of my friends due to various circumstances. my T knows i dont have many freinds and the one guy i do hang out with my T strongly dislikes. i met my roommate thru a group my T facilitates and she is my friend now. he encourages me to meet new people, people in the group , etc. i tell him its really hard for me... i am socially anxious around people i am not familiar with. i can come across as a b i t ch but really i am just shy and scared. people have told me before that before they got to knwo me they thought i was a b i t ch. i dont like that but i dont know how to change the way i come across. im def more outgoing than i was years ago... but im still pretty isolated.

why does it make you uncomfortable thinking about telling him you have no friends? are you worried about judgements?

[WrkNPrgress]

I wouldn't worry about your T judging you, if that's the issue. As others said, he might have good recommendations on how to meet people. Meetup groups that center around a shared invests are a great place to start for sure.

[bookgirl667]

I only have real two friends, who each live 100 miles away. I see them twice a year if I'm lucky.

My t knew before I ever said anything. He said something about how I seemed really lonely, and I agreed. Becoming more comfortable with taking social risks is one of the things we work on.

[Myrto]

I've moved around a lot during my studies and then for work and consequently I lost all my friends. People don't keep in touch, they forget you. I still have two friends but they live in another country. The country I live in now, I'm completely isolated. Making new friends is SO HARD, especially after college. I don't think your therapist will judge you: tons of people crave friendships and are isolated. That's often why they go to therapy in the first place. Have you tried Meetup.com? It offers a wide range of activities that you can do while meeting new people, which is usually the best way to make friends. It hasn't worked out for me yet but I'm hopeful.

[kokosugar]

I currently talk to my T a lot about my social situation. There's a lot of drama that goes into play and I just told her everything that went on. Just recently when we were talking, i just said "i have no friends" and I didnt even think about it before hand, it just came out.

Idk, what mindset really helped me was that I really want to get better for I am in my 20's and I know if I dont change now, I will be forever the same and I really don't want that. So using this it gave me some courage to just let everything rip no matter how shameful it was, I just want to get fixed already