[rothfan6]

My t is late yet again. He asked yesterday to move our session back an hour to 10 and its almost 11 now. Its really frustrating.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by rothfan6

My t is late yet again. He asked yesterday to move our session back an hour to 10 and its almost 11 now. Its really frustrating.

So you've been waiting almost an hour? Ugh. 10-15 minutes is one thing, but almost an hour is a really long time. Is it possible he forgot you'd changed the appointment time and is thinking you're supposed to meet at 11? Hope you're in to see him by now and that you talked more about the time thing...

[rothfan6]

He just showed up, it was orginally 9, then 10.

[musinglizzy]

That's my biggest (close to only) complaint about T3 She is ALWAYS 10-15 min late. It makes me appreciate time boundaries with my first one....

Jeez....I would never tolerate waiting around an hour......15 minutes irritates me enough!

[ilikecats]

Wow. Did he apologize for the lateness or explain why he was so late? My T is always about 20 minutes late, but an hour is ridiculous. Unless he mixed up the time your appointment was at, I don't understand why he would be so late.

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[Service Cat]

My T has never been late. This is unacceptable by your T in my opinion.

[rothfan6]

An hour and a half late He's mixed up the time or day before and hasnt showed up for a session a couple of times, both on times when I really needed it. He had to go into work this morning and it took longer than he thought it would. Everything usually takes longer than he thought. Hes not great at managing time. He'll message me a minute before a session asking to start 10mins late and its around 30mins sometimes. Its rare we start on time. Now i have about 30 mins before i have to go to work and havent had anything to eat today, guess i'll eat in the morning. I usually have to send him a reminder that i didnt get an invoice to pay for the session

This isn't okay. He needs to get his act together. I would definitely not be sending him a reminder about invoices, particularly for this one.

That's really bad. I agree with lolagrace.

My pdoc is consistently 10-15 minutes late, even when I have the first appointment of the day, so I always show up 5 minutes late. I can at least predict it, though... which is why I'm sort of okay with it. But your T sounds unpredictable.

[itjustis]

This would really bug me, you have every right to be frustrated. To me the timing and days of sessions are really important to boundary setting. I personally need the routine too.
My T was only ever late about three times in the 9 months I saw her and that was 5 or 10 minutes max. She offered an explanation for each time too.


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[stopdog]

I would not wait more than 10 minutes and I certainly would not remind a therapist about billing. That is completely their responsibility. I don't understand whether you received the full time you pay for or not - if not I certainly would not be willing to pay the full amount.

[Merecat]

That's so unacceptable. I really cannot understand T's who are routinely late, it's so disrespectful - I would not be paying for a session where he was so late, regardless of whether I got my full session or not. My time is as valuable as his, it's not ok to have me wait for 30 mins to an hour because he can't get his act together.

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by rothfan6

An hour and a half late He's mixed up the time or day before and hasnt showed up for a session a couple of times, both on times when I really needed it. He had to go into work this morning and it took longer than he thought it would. Everything usually takes longer than he thought. Hes not great at managing time. He'll message me a minute before a session asking to start 10mins late and its around 30mins sometimes. Its rare we start on time. Now i have about 30 mins before i have to go to work and havent had anything to eat today, guess i'll eat in the morning. I usually have to send him a reminder that i didnt get an invoice to pay for the session

I am all for being flexible if one can be but this is ridiculous. Did he message you telling you he was running so late today?

[rothfan6]

He messaged me around 9 I think, saying it would probably be 10:30 instead of 10 and he would let me know when he was on the way. 10:30 would have been ok but 11:30 was too much. I try to be flexible since our schedules don't match up so its whenever he has a day off and that always changes. I could have just said screw it and cancel but I wait all week and wouldn't know when the next one would be. I felt stuck. It was making me anxious the longer I waited.

[velcro003]

i am pretty flexible (well was, when i did saturday appointments), and would wait 10-15 minutes pretty regularly for my therapist.

the first time she was very late was over 30 minutes, and the front door was locked. Her car wasn't in the parking lot, so i figured either she cancelled and i didn't know, or maybe it wasn't a saturday? Anyway, i left a message, and a few minutes later she called me back. Her appointment ran over (way over!), and didn't realize the door was locked until it was too late. By that point i was almost home, so i told her to forget it, and i'd see her next week. She tried to tell me that it was ok to be mad at her, hurt, upset...etc, but i was like "whatever, i'm over it."

The second time it happened, i hemmed and hawed until about the 30 minute mark. When this happened the first time, she said if she was running that late, please knock on her door (which i greatly did not want to do). I paced around, not sure if i should just leave, except i really needed therapy that day. Eventually, I managed to knock. Turns out she emailed me that morning saying she was running a half hour behind...but i didn't check it, as it was a saturday morning. We figured out a new system if that ever happened again (which it hasn't)

What I am saying is, my T is just "meh" on time boundaries, but she has always owned up and profusely apologized for the two times it was a big deal. Even I, a big wuss...couldn't deal with anything more than 15 minutes late. I'm so sorry this is happening.

[Rive.]

Your T is really exaggerating. Your time is as precious as his & I find it profoundly disrespectful that he kept you hanging for 1h-1h30mins.

He should get his act together, this is not acceptable.

[rothfan6]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I would not wait more than 10 minutes and I certainly would not remind a therapist about billing. That is completely their responsibility. I don't understand whether you received the full time you pay for or not - if not I certainly would not be willing to pay the full amount.

I always get the full two hours and he usually goes over. Once, recently, I had to pay for going over which kind of pissed me off since i didnt ask to go over and he just sent the invoice and it was more, without an explanation

[rothfan6]

I didnt know most T's are more accurate about their time? Hes the first one I started seeing and have just stayed with him. I'm not good at judging if i'm overreacting or should say something. He said I can always say no when he asks to move the session and my time is as valuable but i'd rather not miss one and not know when the next would be. I dont know where the line is for being reasonably flexible and tolerant of his lateness and being too accommodating and not taking care of myself and my time. I have a hard time telling people if they piss me off or do something that bothers me.