[Lonely Leonard]

Hello everybody. I have been seeing my therapist for depression for several months (8) now. This is the longest I have ever stuck with one before. I tried 4 in the past but either I couldn't afford them or I didn't click with them. I have been fortunate enough that she has been seeing me on a sliding scale, and I am very grateful for that. I had been seeing her on a weekly basis for the first few months but it seems like issues come up for her and she has to cancel my appointments. She always offers to see if her other clients can reschedule but then she never follows through and lets me know if they can or says that she might have another opening at such and such date and time, but once again, I never hear anything back. After my session last week I said I could come back at the same time next week (which is the time she has been scheduling me the last couple of months, when she doesn't cancel or go on vacation) but she scheduled somebody else at that time. She said she had an earlier slot that day which I offered to take but then she also said there was another time on another date which might be open and asked if I would like that date. I told her sure and she said she would get back to me, but once again I have heard nothing back. In addition, she starts almost every session 5 to 10 minutes late, but ends them on time. I know I am a sliding scale client, so I don't complain. She has occasionally offered to provide me with information which I might find useful, but she doesn't follow up with her offerings unless I ask for the said info every week.

It hurts cuz I'm a pretty isolated person and my T is the only person I have opened up to in years and I feel that I have been making slow but steady improvements in my life. Currently I am feeling lower than normal as I injured my back, lost my job, and am in quite a bit of physical pain in addition to the mental/ emotional aspects. Do you think I should just stop therapy with this person? I guess I just don't feel that I am somebody she cares to help. I am very accomodating and I just feel taken for granted and not that important, which kind of mirrors the few relationships I've had outside of therapy.

Well, thanks for reading!

[Waterbear]

Maybe try talking to her about it all, as hard as that would be. She might not realise what effect this is having on you and before you leave it surely has to be worth a shot? It does sound like a tough situation to be in though, and sorry that life has been pretty rubbish for you recently. Best wishes

[skeksi]

I think you should definitely raise these issues with her. It could be a chance to have your needs heard and responded to, and if she doesn't, it is a chance to assert yourself by finding someone who will.

[Lonely Leonard]

Thanks for the advice. If she gets a hold of me this week I will try to voice my concerns, if it ends up that I don't hear anything by Friday, I'm done with her (and probably therapy in general). I appreciate you guys reaching out to me.

[ruh roh]

This is just not okay. My therapist has done nothing to this extent, but even when she was late a few times in a row, I said that if a client did that, it would be viewed as being resistant. I wanted to know if she was resistant toward me. She seemed surprised by that, said not at all, and it never happened again.

If you bring this up and your therapist gets defensive or puts it back on you, that's a really good sign to leave--that is, if you want to even give her that chance. Her behavior towards you sounds really disrespectful, to say the least.

[Schizoid_1]

I think, until you raise the issue with her, she might be ignorant about it. Don't quit without talking about it.

[Lonely Leonard]

Thanks for the comments, I appreciate it.