transference as violation

What? I was responding to overt hostility. And gender has nothing to do with any of this for me. I am for inclusiveness, and I would never dream of asking any person or group to get lost.

I don't believe it is only individuals that can be abusive or violating - systems and organizations can also be abusive and violating. I think it's totally legit to look at the ways in which societal structures act to oppress people in minor and major ways. To me it's a perfectly reasonable question to look at the kind of thinking embraced by various schools of thought around therapy and inquire to what extent they may or may not be abusive/intrusive/authoritarian/dogmatic/whatever.

Edited to add - one of the reasons I believe that systems can be abusive is that I had many encounters with the medical system in the 1970s. I'm sure these were all nice doctors and nurses who loved their puppies or whatever, but the completely callous disregard the system had for the emotional needs of children at the time did me a lot of damage, and I would most certainly describe it as an abusive system.

Exactly. How ridiculous to be accused of such nonsense.

I am not really shocked by how controlling and narcissistic people are being toward you. And hateful.

I'm all for raising these questions. I just don't like it when they come off as accusations instead.

i guess I just don't understand why it bothers the group of people who are bothered by these kinds of posts. What difference does it make if it sounds like an accusation? It feels to me like a rush to defend therapists, which doesn't seem necessary to me. This is a genuine question. Why not just say, "this is this person's experience and they must work through it in their own way and in their own time"?

That isn't what i said. I said therapy is inherently seductive, and therapy which encourages a client to develop and express "transference" desires and longings for the therapist is inherently predatory and exploitive and manipulative. This is not wholesale condemnation, this is not hate, this is not anger. I am asserting certain inherent characteristics. This does not preclude therapy being good or helpful.

Others can disagree. I am just throwing out ideas, sometimes because of something I read that jibes with my experience.

But instead of disagreement, I see a lot of posts that amount to filibuster.

I'm not saying abuse doesn't happen. It does. That much is obvious. That is why regulations and rules and avenues for reporting and laws exist. We've read the stories here.

What I take umbrage with is the statement of an absolute generalization that ignores, dismisses and/or colors the very real and very positive experience of many people not just on this board but across the profession as a whole.

Psychology is a real field occupied (for the most part) by people who have studied and practices for years. Like any field of research, science, art it has progressed over time an there are very many different arguments and different experiences in this field. There are going to be bad experiences, mess ups.

Like the science of medicine, there are bad doctors who commit malpractice. There are also difficult patience who will sue at the drop of a hat. Does that mean that Hospitals and the whole science of medicine is corrupt? No. Hospitals save lives. Patients will need to advocate for themselves, ask questions, and be aware of everything as much as possible to make informed decision. This is how I see psychology.

With all due respect. You're statement is very much a "wholesale" absolute. You have not said, "some" therapy or "some" therapists.. thus it ism by definition a 'wholesale' condemnation. It comes across as a very black and white statement.

We are controlling and narcissistic? Lovely.

Being told to shut up and go away, to be quiet and be good, only talk about the positive, feels very abusive. Toxic abuse right here on this forum.

I also don't understand why people can't seem to tolerate these types of posts. If you don't agree then you don't agree, but why can't people stand these viewpoints.

Telling someone to be quiet and go away is controlling and narcissistic in my opinion. And abusive.

Sometimes I think we spend more time arguing about how we talk about therapy than we do discussing therapy itself.

The Catholic Church is an example of systematic abuse. (Recently saw that movie on Netflix). Those who sought to expose the abuse clearly delineated between individual abuse and institutional abuse. A psychologist even thought it would be a new DSM category because of the more damaging impact of systematic abuse affecting a person vs the one person who abused the individual.

It's heartbreaking.

I think western medicine is an example of systemic abuse. For me, I would choose death over dealing with that system. Others seem to think that the abuse is worth it for the outcome. We are not all the same. I don't mind if people want to choose to deal with that system - but I will not. And I won't agree that the outcome would be worth it for me - if others choose differently so be it -but I am not going to say it is okay.
I think with something like therapy - it is so much smoke and mirrors and no real format or structure that more warnings and disclaimer and information on how it works and how it can fail (therapy and therapists -not the client) would be very very helpful

To all honesty I saw only one person here said that it might belong on a different sub forum. Why not take it up with a specific person. No need to get angry with everyone else and scream abuse. I don't see anyone being abused. Either report it or PM a person or put a person on ignore list.

If you were sexually exploited by your t then I highly recommend to report them. It's not acceptable. But it doesn't make all therapists sexual predators or seductress whatsoever. This is black and white thinking.

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I've been working with my therapist for over three years now. Due to my own stuff ( csa, parental neglect) it has taken me quite a long time to feel comfortable with my therapist. For me, it's been a gradual process with ups and downs . She's made me angry at times , I've felt betrayed on a few occasions, and I've been hurt. Along with that comes the good. I've finally come to accept that this person DOES care about me. I don't have those dark moments where I question the value of my life ( that in itself is huge for me). I would say I feel 90% safe with her . 10% still worries from time to time that she may bail on me. In the recent past my therapist has offered me hugs on occasion. I won't ask for one. Long after that hug is gone I still feel the safety of her arms. Just last week my therapist hugged me and gently rocked me.. Admittedly it was a bit too much for me and she knew it and stopped but at the very same time it was SO healing for me!! I held onto that all week. Not in an obsessive way but it just helped me to feel connected to her.
Everyone has different needs, therapists can be helpful for one person and perhaps not so much for another. For me, the transference is healing. I feel more secure , I feel grounded, I feel loved. I think as long as we remember the boundaries and can maintain that balance transference can be a useful tool ( for some of us) while in therapy.

I'm not angry or screaming. Weird how you automatically jumped to those conclusions. Weird how other people feel so comfortable telling posters what to do or not do. That is so bizarre to me..

I'm not surprised by anything on this thread. I've seen it all before and worse.

I think it would help if people stop looking at therapists as authority figures full of power and some supernatural abilities to seduce and set up traps for clients. I think it would help people to look at therapists as their equals, same kind of people just maybe in a different career. Maybe it belongs in a separate thread but some problems might arise from people seeing therapists as authority figures. They aren't. They perform service as dentists and hairdressers do etc etc

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So should we do away with codes of ethics and let it be okay for them to have sex with their clients? To me therapy is nothing like going to the dentist or the hairdresser. Maybe I'm just weird though. I'm not being sarcastic I promise.

I basically agree, but I'm not sure how taking that attitude that would affect the topic of this thread at all? Transference would still happen (since it seems to be such an integral part of therapy), some therapists would encourage it and then abuse it.

This thread is being closed for administrative review.