[Cinnamon_Stick]

I was wondering what things a therapist would say to a client that would be a red flag?

[atisketatasket]

"I've never done this with any client before."

[LadyShadow]

"Do you want to be admitted to a hospital"

Pretty self explanatory!

"Let's get out of these silly clothes"

[atisketatasket]

This is an interesting question. Other than what's been posted, I'm having trouble thinking of possibilities. Because I assume what you're looking for is insidious comments, vs. things like "that tight sweater looks good on you."

So are red flags more behavioral rather than verbal? Like texting during session, being constantly late, falling asleep in session, withdrawing touch, stopping answering emails, etc.?

[Soccer mom]

"that's your transference" when I now realize it was her personality
"we are friends an hour a week"

I think there are red flags a T. might not be good for your issues. That would be too long to list. the biggest red flag for me was never quite feeling comfortable.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

This is an interesting question. Other than what's been posted, I'm having trouble thinking of possibilities. Because I assume what you're looking for is insidious comments, vs. things like "that tight sweater looks good on you."

So are red flags more behavioral rather than verbal? Like texting during session, being constantly late, falling asleep in session, withdrawing touch, stopping answering emails, etc.?

It could mean either a verbal comment or behavior but I am asking for verbal comments that might be a red flag.

[stopdog]

A red flag for what? Incompetence in general? That they are coming on to you? That they don't have a clue?

[Cinnamon_Stick]

Originally Posted by stopdog

A red flag for what? Incompetence in general? That they are coming on to you? That they don't have a clue?

That something is wrong....either with them or the relationship or the therapy.

[ruh roh]

"You can trust me."

"I know what I'm doing."

"I have never been in therapy myself."

[atisketatasket]

Okay, how about:

"X trauma is not as bad as what has happened to others."

"I enjoy being the most important person in your life."

"Sometimes people imagine something happened to them when it didn't really."

"I don't think you're trying."

"We NEED to talk about this."

That sort of thing?

No. 1 said the last one to me, and also the sentence in my first post.

From T1:
"I go to supervision and think "I know all this already"'
In writing he gave to me: "Echos makes me think of an iceberg....If I get too close, will I rip a hole in my side and sink to the bottom of the ocean?"
"My grandaughter has X illness/disability and my daughter in law emailed the family saying...."
"You are just like a younger version of myself sitting there".

Current T said he's "been through the same thing", then proceeded to explain his experience. He is not bipolar (he said this himself), and his example of him being "depressed" was simply sadness because he broke up with his gf.

So, any therapist who says they "know what it's like" is a red flag unless they've specifically gone through the same exact thing or something highly similar. That means the therapist is either intentionally/unintentionally belittling you or they have no clue what they're doing

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

So, any therapist who says they "know what it's like" is a red flag unless they've specifically gone through the same exact thing or something highly similar. That means the therapist is either intentionally/unintentionally belittling you or they have no clue what they're doing

I agree. And actually, even if they have been through an almost identical situation, they still have no idea what it was like for the client in that situation.
Human experience is so much more complicated than that because we are all so different. To assume understanding is not empathic at all.

[koru_kiwi]

ex-T telling me that i would never heal from the traumas of my early childhood abuse unless i became spiritual...that was the final red-flag with her that encouraged me to find a more experienced T. this same T also tried to reassure me that my early traumas should not be as bad as i thought they were because my perpetrator was only the next door neighbor after all and not my dad. definilty a big red flag that she knew very little about the effects of truama....

[brillskep]

I know what's best for you and you just need to trust my approach.

I don't need therapy. / I'm done with supervision.

Confidentiality is overrated. / I will discuss your case with mutual colleagues / trainers.

Let's meet for a cup of coffee sometime.

Any oversharing about self / other clients in an inappropriate way.

You will get better in .............. (time) / Therapy will (definitely) help you with ........................

In your situation you should ... / You have to ............... (any obligation other than therapy admin stuff or any unsolicited advice)

I understand you completely!

Your religion / belief / feeling / experience (etc) is wrong. / You are wrong (and I am right).

I'll introduce you to a friend of mine / to a relative / to another client.

Why don't you kill yourself already? (I actually heard that from a therapist who gave a lecture at my uni when I was an undergrad student ... really scary that such a person is practicing!)

You are mentally ill / abnormal / weird / ...

I will cure you of homosexuality (again, I read an article by a therapist who claimed to do that, just a few years ago ... scary to know she's allowed to practice)

I could think of many more.

[Daisy Dead Petals]

"I thought I was the therapist," in response to my questioning of some of her behaviors and practices.

[bounceback]

You don't need anyone else to help you. We will see each other forever. Yes we can be more than just client and therapist. What do you need friends for, you got me.

[junkDNA]

"What if I said I've thought about it too...?"

A response to me after I was sitting in silence and randomly smiled. He was coming on to me

Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk

Cinnamon did your T say something to you that was redflagish?

[awkwardlyyours]

You need someone to attach to because you never had that as a child.

(Comes with the seeming offer of being the said someone).

[Bipolar Warrior]

Originally Posted by koru_kiwi

ex-T telling me that i would never heal from the traumas of my early childhood abuse unless i became spiritual...that was the final red-flag with her that encouraged me to find a more experienced T. this same T also tried to reassure me that my early traumas should not be as bad as i thought they were because my perpetrator was only the next door neighbor after all and not my dad. definilty a big red flag that she knew very little about the effects of truama....

That's terrible. No one has the right to say something like that about another person's experience, especially not about something as traumatising as abuse. I will never understand why some people think it's okay to express such opinions.

[Soccer mom]

I can't believe I forgot this one: "therapists are master manipulators"

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

After a rather blatant blunder (she out right lied to me), a former therapist said "You'll notice I didn't apologize".

[ThisWayOut]

"I'm not going to be able to see you unless you are on meds" after reading my self- reported history in our intro session... not even 5 minutes into session. There was also mention of not likely ever being a productive member of society.