The Couch 119: Come Join The Human Shelf!

Morning couch. My legs and ankles are sore, not sure why. I hope I can do something productive today even though I feel lousy.

SM - that sounds very hard to deal with. Sorry you have to take time off and deal with unfounded accusations because of that jerk.

Morning!

Got up this morning and got my day started. My h being a complete jerk last night is suffocating me. No one likes to be threatened. Right? If he is going to threaten to file for divorce every time he gets pissed because I'm trying to heal from "then" and him now, please feel free to go ahead and do it!!

PLEASE. Please, I want to tell him, don't send me these sweet text messages the next day telling me you love me.

This is craziness!!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

It is craziness. It's also how abusers work. Future ex would threaten to leave over things like my not stirring the eggs his way. (Yet they always tasted better than his eggs!)

Threatening to leave seems like it is an effort to control you.

Thank you ATAT and Sk. It is truly craziness.

Before, when he would do this, my heart would break. I would panic and try to figure out what I did to cause it. It would feel like a vacuum.

This time it's different. There's this "I don't really care feeling" and "whatever" feeling.

What really hurt me, was him asking me if I had any idea how much I had hurt my family. That hurt.

Thank you for listening and hearing me. Nobody else knows how he is.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Hi, couch.

I am up and taking a break from school work. I have my lesson plan done I just have to write the 750-1000 word paper on the rationale of writing it to turn in as well. I still have time though. Discussion posts are done, so that is out of the way.

I have an interview on Wednesday at a local elementary school for a 5th grade special education position.

I am hungry and need to eat some lunch. Then I will get to starting my paper....I can always finish it after CVS tonight.

Sometimes there is a small thing like that, that sets him off. Other times, like last night, things are good and then he switches and the anger comes out of nowhere. Blindsided.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Taking a break from cleaning, decluttering, organizing, and panicking. Probably panicked for nothing but hey, the house is so sparkly it was worth it. I need to do a major declutter in the laundry room and I'm just closing my bedroom door because it needs more time than I have to offer it right now.

I'm still very angry and upset but every minute gets a little easier. I remember a time when I wrapped my anger around me like a cloak to hide from all the other feelings, and I wonder how I managed to sustain it without smothering myself. I'm much better at being content than blisteringly mad every moment. So that realization might be the silver lining in today's dark cloud.

Look at me blathering again. Happy Monday couch!

I had a bad dream about my family and my abuser and how they left me and no one believed me about my abuser being a rapist . they ignored my pleas.. ugh not good dream.

My new job is so weird. It's a delivery driver job, and the times in between deliveries I just sit in my car doing nothing. It's strange. And boring. I sat in my car on my phone for 4 hours today just waiting for a delivery.

Sent from my SM-G925V using Tapatalk

The puppy is barking at shadows on the curtains, i have cicada somewhere in my house and the little bird that got trapped in the starage room yesterday has crapped everywhere and I really don't feel like cleaning so i am looking at what I can throw out instead....Did i say the puppy was barking at shadows? STILL.

The puppy has stopped barking and is asleep under my desk.

My task for next session is to think of bad things about my grandmother. We were looking at photos of her and I was telling T about her and he said she sounds like a saint and a remarkable woman. I am struggling to think of anything except for two things I mentioned yesterday, that she washed my mouth out with soap and she was angry at me for making brother angry and he ruined my dress by throwing plums at it. He also said that she looked like a formidable woman, maybe she was but I don't really remember anything besides those 2 incidents.

How annoying! But if you're getting paid for waiting, that's some consolation.

A chance to catch up on your reading, perhaps?

I want the potato drought to end $9/kilo is ridiculous. Haaven't had potato in over a month.

Have you tried kumara (sweet potatoes)?

On a 60s kick musically
Dion Runaround Sue


The Turtles Happy Together


Mamas and the Papas California Dreaming


Beach Boys I get Around


Jan and dean Surf City

Yep but there's only some many I can eat. They don't really appeal to me. The aren't as filling as regular potatoes.

We've got lots. Do you want me to send you some?

We need more food emoji. Pirrouetting potatoes.

Good luck on the interview!

Cleaning bird poo is frustrating. I'm going to have to throw my mop and bucket out. YUK!

I agree, finding a hidden cache of poo is not on my list of 10 things to do today. Good luck!

I am reading a pitch-by-pitch account of Game 1 of the 1968 World Series by the pitcher, Bob Gibson. Even I am finding this hard going.