The Couch 119: Come Join The Human Shelf!

Ellahmae · Jul 19, 2016, 08:38 AM

T said she'd give me any cancellation that she has today, so we'll see. I'm just not in a good place.

Squirrel1983 · Jul 19, 2016, 08:46 AM

Morning, couch.

Well, I got a call from a CVS about 30 minutes ago asking if I could work at their store today from 11-7. I have to be at my store at 5, so I told them that is why I couldn't. Then they asked me how long it would take to get to my store from their store. I said about 45 minutes, so they asked if I could work at their store from 11-4 because they'd rather get some of the shift covered than none of it. Yay!! Exta hours. That brings me to 32.5 for this week. I still have a little room to pick up a few more if I am needed. That was brilliant making myself available to other stores until I go back to school job.

Jul 19, 2016, 09:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crocus

Thank you, QM. I do appreciate that, and it's very kind of you to say so. I try to be as little active as I can here, and to write as little as possible about myself (although I fail abysmally at that

), partly so as not to become intolerable yet again. But it's really nice of you to say that you like my contributions.

Maybe I sound weird *embarrassed* I actually like "getting to know" posters.

Offline I'm really shy and stuff but online, I love building an individual "feel" for people. It's honestly all been positive.

Quote:

Originally Posted by granite1

“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.”
maya angelou

Lovely quote!

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantExplain

I'd like to hear more about you.

+1.

Jul 19, 2016, 09:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Squirrel1983

Morning, couch.

Well, I got a call from a CVS about 30 minutes ago asking if I could work at their store today from 11-7. I have to be at my store at 5, so I told them that is why I couldn't. Then they asked me how long it would take to get to my store from their store. I said about 45 minutes, so they asked if I could work at their store from 11-4 because they'd rather get some of the shift covered than none of it. Yay!! Exta hours. That brings me to 32.5 for this week. I still have a little room to pick up a few more if I am needed. That was brilliant making myself available to other stores until I go back to school job.

I've always admired how hard you work.

Luckily I work in IT where I hardly need to be social or do emotional labour, and where I've no work if things are running as they should.

88Butterfly88 · Jul 19, 2016, 09:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by precaryous

Had appt. with weight loss surgeon today. I hadn't seen him for several months so I filled him in on my surgery/tia. Have had several unstable medical issues since March and I admitted I hadn't been eating healthily. Really. Eating out plus grandson had a birthday which means cake and ice cream. Also, it's totally unfair that Giant Eagle sells 12 freshly baked and filled yummy doughnuts for $5 on Fridays. Unfair, I tell you!

I expected I had gained ten pounds. I lost one pound! The surgeon said, let's get back on track. I agree. He added more fluid to my lapband. He pointed out that once I lose the weight, I'm not gaining it back...so let's go lose 30-40 more pounds!

I'm very glad he is a positive and inspiring doctor.

Glad it went well.

kecanoe · Jul 19, 2016, 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crocus

I wish I weren't so despicable and pathetic. Part of me would like to self harm by writing on here about how I'm feeling and what is going on with me (which is harmful because the last few times I have done so I have ended up feeling much worse - yet for some reason I keep thinking "if all those other people find support surely there could be some for me" - which is wrong and bad in all sorts of ways.)

Four years of therapy and I'm still not independent.

No wonder people tire of me.

Nine years and counting for me... And I am not tired of you. What could we do to support you?

Jul 19, 2016, 09:42 AM

T is pretty much always exactly one minute late in getting me to come back to his office. Today he is 12 minutes late. It is making me weirdly anxious. He has never been this late, ever.

Jul 19, 2016, 09:45 AM

I called him and I could hear his phone ring but he did not answer. I left a message. I wonder what is going on. Huh. Wonder how long I should wait.

88Butterfly88 · Jul 19, 2016, 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by My kids are cool

I called him and I could hear his phone ring but he did not answer. I left a message. I wonder what is going on. Huh. Wonder how long I should wait.

I wonder if the client before you could be in crisis so he is still with them?

BonnieJean · Jul 19, 2016, 11:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by My kids are cool

I called him and I could hear his phone ring but he did not answer. I left a message. I wonder what is going on. Huh. Wonder how long I should wait.

What happened?

Jul 19, 2016, 11:56 AM

He did show up. He had gotten confused by a cancellation that he thought was from me. He made up the time.

Ellahmae · Jul 19, 2016, 12:03 PM

I HATE my mother. She thinks she's the only one that has been through anything and invalidates me and I still act like her slave. This sucks. T had an opening today and I declined. :/ It was too late at night I didn't want to be out. I have my appt tomorrow though. I just don't know what the hell to do.

stopdog · Jul 19, 2016, 12:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by My kids are cool

I called him and I could hear his phone ring but he did not answer. I left a message. I wonder what is going on. Huh. Wonder how long I should wait.

I am glad he was there and it was just a mix up.
I would only wait 10 minutes, give a call and then leave.

healed84 · Jul 19, 2016, 12:44 PM

I can feel the blah, want to cry for no reason, overwhelming feelings coming back. After a month and a half on meds, and feeling great for the last 3 weeks. I am scared, now that I remember how feels not to be depressed I don't want to go back!

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Jul 19, 2016, 01:02 PM

I will not be sarcastic in other threads. I will not. I will assume good faith rather than the intention to shame other people, even when I can only read a judgmental stance into it. I know I'm reading it wrong.

Also, thank you for offers of support. I wish I knew how to respond graciously to such kindness, but I don't really know how to handle it. I'm sorry for being so graceless and stupid.

Jul 19, 2016, 01:03 PM

Oh, and tomorrow I'll be halfway through T's holiday, with only 26 more days to go. I caved and called his answering machine yesterday, just to listen to his voice. (See above re: pathetic.)

Ellahmae · Jul 19, 2016, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crocus

Oh, and tomorrow I'll be halfway through T's holiday, with only 26 more days to go. I caved and called his answering machine yesterday, just to listen to his voice. (See above re: pathetic.)

I want to do that so badly, except it'd have to be her voicemail on her cell phone, and she calls back every single call she misses, unless I block the number? Then she might answer because the woman is never gone I swear. Sigh. Hugs. (not pathetic

)

Jul 19, 2016, 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crocus

Oh, and tomorrow I'll be halfway through T's holiday, with only 26 more days to go. I caved and called his answering machine yesterday, just to listen to his voice. (See above re: pathetic.)

Not pathetic. I have done that. One time i called her intending to do that but she answered eep and i had to scramble for a reason i called because i would not admit to her it was just to hear her voice.

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Ellahmae · Jul 19, 2016, 01:31 PM

Dear

Possible trigger:

Eating Disorders, I ****ing hate you

and now I hate myself.

Jul 19, 2016, 01:32 PM

Well, I have told him that I have done it before, and I know he won't answer because it is a physical machine in his office, where he won't be for several more weeks.... I still try not to do it though. (But of course I understand the wish to do it!)

Jul 19, 2016, 01:33 PM

(((Ellahmae)))

Ellahmae · Jul 19, 2016, 02:13 PM

May I ask how he responded?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crocus

Well, I have told him that I have done it before, and I know he won't answer because it is a physical machine in his office, where he won't be for several more weeks.... I still try not to do it though. (But of course I understand the wish to do it!)

TrailRunner14 · Jul 19, 2016, 02:13 PM

((( Ellahmae )))

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TrailRunner14 · Jul 19, 2016, 02:15 PM

((( Crocus )))

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Jul 19, 2016, 02:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ellahmae

May I ask how he responded?

It was a couple of years ago so I don't recall his exact words, but it was on the lines of "Good, I'm glad you thought of doing that if it's helpful for you. It is certainly not a strange thing to do."

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