[Ellie_jo]

Had therapy today. My therapist basically told me that my view of things is super catastrophic and that the evidence that she sees points to me being much more in control than I feel. She told me to think about this and next time we will discuss what I feel about this perspective. Idk what to think! Guys, I know that I am "fine" in that I can work and buy food. But I feel like I am going to lose it at any moment.

Does anyone have advice on how to break through this wall? Or how to communicate better with t? I'm thinking about writing a letter because I can express myself better that way. Has anyone done anything like that?

I need a hug.

[itjustis]

When I couldn't express my feelings verbally I would write it down. It worked well for my T and I.

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[Argonautomobile]

Would it help to think of yourself as not fine, after all? Having a catastrophic view of things sounds like a big problem to me. And when you have a big problem, you're not fine at all.

I don't think the distinction here is between fine and not fine, but rather between subjective view and objective reality. That is, I don't think she's telling you that you don't have a problem, but that your problem has more to do with your view of things than with the things themselves.

But, really, I think that's true for everyone. You can be a millionaire with the best things in life, but if you don't feel good, then what you have doesn't really matter, does it? On the other hand, you could live in a Calcutta slum, but if you feel good about your life and yourself--grateful for what you have, able to find joy in the people around you, then you don't have a problem, do you?

Does that make sense?

[Waterbear]

Yes, lots. Writing it down and then either giving it to her to read, emailing her with it or reading it aloud to her myself are all ways we communicate a lot. That is how I get over stuff that seems to me to be almost urgent or too difficult to say. If I left it up to me to say it to her face to face without a letter it would not work, not yet. Being able to communicate is a skill we are trying to teach me and this is just one way of getting stuff out there. I believe that lots of people do it and it works great for them. Hopefully your T will respond well to it. I guess sometimes the image we portray is so different to what is actually going on inside and we have had so much practice at showing the world we are doing OK that it can be hard as a T to see past that unless we let them see what is behind the mask. Don't know if that fits where you are at but I know it is true for me.

[Ellie_jo]

Originally Posted by Argonautomobile

Would it help to think of yourself as not fine, after all? Having a catastrophic view of things sounds like a big problem to me. And when you have a big problem, you're not fine at all.

I don't think the distinction here is between fine and not fine, but rather between subjective view and objective reality. That is, I don't think she's telling you that you don't have a problem, but that your problem has more to do with your view of things than with the things themselves.

But, really, I think that's true for everyone. You can be a millionaire with the best things in life, but if you don't feel good, then what you have doesn't really matter, does it? On the other hand, you could live in a Calcutta slum, but if you feel good about your life and yourself--grateful for what you have, able to find joy in the people around you, then you don't have a problem, do you?

Does that make sense?

It does make sense! Self view is a huge issue. I'm trying to accept a different view but this one is so ingrained. I'm hitting some obstacles. But your perspective is appreciated!

[Ellie_jo]

Originally Posted by Waterbear

Yes, lots. Writing it down and then either giving it to her to read, emailing her with it or reading it aloud to her myself are all ways we communicate a lot. That is how I get over stuff that seems to me to be almost urgent or too difficult to say. If I left it up to me to say it to her face to face without a letter it would not work, not yet. Being able to communicate is a skill we are trying to teach me and this is just one way of getting stuff out there. I believe that lots of people do it and it works great for them. Hopefully your T will respond well to it. I guess sometimes the image we portray is so different to what is actually going on inside and we have had so much practice at showing the world we are doing OK that it can be hard as a T to see past that unless we let them see what is behind the mask. Don't know if that fits where you are at but I know it is true for me.

Thank you, I am also trying to learn to communicate better

Big
T always asks how I am and I always say ok. She then says, ok? What does that mean? She will never just let me say I am alright without getting details. Perhaps you can say to your t that when you say you are fine, sometimes you are not and that it's really bloody difficult to say that you are not fine and could she check with you, what kind if find you are meaning at any given time?
I think writing a letter is a great way of communicating or using visualisation. I have a client who uses a vase to describe herself. I ask her every week is there any cracks in the vase and we go from there. Perhaps something like this might help?

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