[runlola72]

Not sure if this is a mildly spectrum-y thing for me (daughter diagnosed with autism, Dad surely has Aspergers) or if it's a shame thing. This has been on my mind for a while, and I'm second guessing myself as to whether I already posted this question a few months ago. If I have, apologies!

Does anyone else suck at eye contact? I look at the floor the whole session.

[confusedbyself]

Haven't seen anything but my t's shoes and pant legs since almost the beginning. Your not alone

[atisketatasket]

I think it's very common, and more to do with shame or discomfort than autism.

I like to joke that I spend so much time looking at their rugs that I could pick them out of a rug lineup, were there ever such a thing.

[runlola72]

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

I think it's very common, and more to do with shame or discomfort than autism.

I like to joke that I spend so much time looking at their rugs that I could pick them out of a rug lineup, were there ever such a thing.

Haha! Love this. His office rug has 77 squares... Lol

[awkwardlyyours]

Yep -- mostly because I'm terrified / petrified. The times I have tried to maintain eye contact (or even just be silent) with my T have sent me into serious panic mode (shortness of breath, sweating and so on). Same with when she's anywhere closer than a few feet -- I freeze up until she figures it out and steps back.

It's rather funny when it's not so scary (T is diminutive and likely barely weighs more than 100lbs while I'm almost a good foot taller than her and weigh well....way more than her).

[BrazenApogee]

I hate the whole eye contact, no eye contact thing. I have abuse issues relating to eye contact and I have talked with T about it. He likes to use the couch, which I have not yet, because it takes the need or desire for eye contact out of the equation. He says it makes it easier.

I do sneak peeks on occasion. Today I did it while we were playing cards. It was during a moment he was looking at his cards for a long time so I got a good look. It was funny cause I was thinking "oh, that's what he looks like."

[Mully]

I struggle with eye contact a great deal. I try to awkwardly make some eye contact, especially early in the session, but as it progresses it gets harder, and I often leave without any eye contact at all. For me I think it's partly shame. I think it's also complicated with old childhood stuff for me as well.

[CyclingPsych]

Ha... I am horrible with eye contact with any Dr.. It's something I really need to work on..

[confusedbyself]

Originally Posted by BrazenApogee

I hate the whole eye contact, no eye contact thing. I have abuse issues relating to eye contact and I have talked with T about it. He likes to use the couch, which I have not yet, because it takes the need or desire for eye contact out of the equation. He says it makes it easier.

I do sneak peeks on occasion. Today I did it while we were playing cards. It was during a moment he was looking at his cards for a long time so I got a good look. It was funny cause I was thinking "oh, that's what he looks like."

I have so "snuck" a couple of peeks and thought the same thing about 'that's what he looks like'

[88Butterfly88]

I have trouble too but I do have autism. But I find it harder to look at my therapist than most other people.

[skeksi]

I have a very hard time with this as well. If I'm talking about anything emotional, I can't look.

i give long direct eye contact when I am dissociating, though! We use it as a cue to notice when I am checked out.

[junkDNA]

i struggled with this a lot in the beginning. it has gotten a lot better for me

[songofthesea]

I have no issue with it whatsoever – he has kind eyes. But if I did move onto any subject matter that is too painful, I would probably want to close them. However, in other situations I avoid it, for example if I know someone habitually tries to hold my gaze for too long (possibly an asserting dominance thing, which is very boring to deal with), I just don't bother looking at them in the first place because I dislike them.

I stare at the floor and her feet and sometimes sneak glances upwards.

I can easily look at photos of her though, but not her physically in the flesh!

[stopdog]

I don't usually look at them, but it is because of how awful I find it when they try to do that empathy crap at me. If the woman does something annoying or that pisses me off, I look at her directly as I tell her how she is failing.

[Luce]

I was with long term t for nearly a decade and I couldn't tell you the color of her eyes. I don't think I ever looked at them long enough to notice.

I'm great at it! Unfortunately it makes me feel about 5 years old and madly in love with him. Luckily we know where this is going and what the point is...apparently.

[HowDoYouFeelMeow?]

Oddly enough, T is the only one I can make eye contact with.

[Pennster]

I actually think it's my therapist who is terrible at eye contact. He tends to look away more than I'm comfortable with. I have wondered at this before, and a couple of times when we were talking about traumatic things I've even asked him to keep eye contact going.

[Bipolarchic14]

I have my bad times. She is not shy on calling me out on it.

[OctobersBlackRose]

I am, but I'm also legally blind aswell...

[therapyishelping777]

In person is harder to have eye contact but I try , has anyone watched "In treatment"? you know those beginning of session stares until you say something, that is awkward.. I also do skype sessions w my life coach who is also a t.. that is easier on eye contact..not as intimidating , not that my t is ... but something about being in someones space..?

[Differentlywired]

I am autistic and struggle with eye contact anyway. But I struggle more to even look at my T.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Originally Posted by runlola72

Not sure if this is a mildly spectrum-y thing for me (daughter diagnosed with autism, Dad surely has Aspergers) or if it's a shame thing. This has been on my mind for a while, and I'm second guessing myself as to whether I already posted this question a few months ago. If I have, apologies!

Does anyone else suck at eye contact? I look at the floor the whole session.

I sit facing the bookshelves, not T of to the side. It's only When I'm fully engaged and awaiting an answer u desperately want do i manage to lock eyes.
Strange, when I first begin with T 13yrs ago I did manage wye contact. I guess because of the work we do, the deeper I unravelled, my defences kicked in. Oh that and extreme neglect as a baby also effects whether eye contact is an option. Lots of dynamics in play. No one answer.

[speckofdust]

In general, I can maintain eye contact. However, if I'm thinking of a way to phrase a thought, or trying to recall something, I find myself looking off to the right. My T will often lean in that direction to try to re-establish eye contact. Which, I find sort of humorous. I'm not avoiding eye contact, that's just what I do when I'm trying to think of or remember something that isn't right on the surface. T has this odd "sculpture" type thing on the bookcase, and I usually find I'm looking at that as it's to the right side.