[silentlyscreaming]

I've realised that I desperately need to talk to someone about the things that have ben going on in my life, and how I've been feeling.

I have borderline personality disorder, possibly PTSD and they're still tossing around a diagnosis of schizophrenia.

Everything is messed up. I'm crying all the tme, thinking about suicide, isolationg myself, and drinking way too much.

I am seeing a T, but I can't stand her, and I think that the feeling is mutual. Changing T's is not an option. I am required by law to see this T every week until June next year. She is extremely condescending and judgemental.

Because of my feelings of late. I think it would be beneficial to find another independant source of support, as I said, I need to talk too someone. My question is, do I seek a counsellor, or because of my mental health, should I find a psychiatrist??? My only concern is that because I am a qualified counsellor, is it going to be ineffective cos I know the 'tricks of the trade'.

Would really appreciate some advice.

I'm sorry SS that youre feeling so down at the moment. It's horrible that you have to keep on seeing a T that you don't connect wtih. Surely theres a way out, under the circumstances? Have you thought about seeing a psychologist.? I'm no expert, but arent they more qualified than counsellors but not as clinical or medication orientated as psychiatrists? It makes me wonder sometimes if all these mental health experts have the answers when it comes to diagnosing people. Sometimes I think they just come up with something, just so there is something!! I dont know......maybe I'm being a bit negative!! Hang in there ss.

[dreamrunner]

Hi silently
I see a psychologist......I was only supposed to see him initially and then a counsellor,but I guess he decided I was a keeper....lol
I think a psychologist is the way to go if your wanting therapy,mines pretty good.
A psychiatrist would also be beneficial in help getting to the bottom of things and would even help with planning a course of treatment......Im not sure about providing therapy though.My psychiatrists plan for treatment for me included continuing therapy with psychologist......
Must be terrible going to T you dont like.....Maybe a psychiatrist could get you out of that court order and into see someone else.
Keep us posted......good luck.

Do you have good insurance? If yes then do the pdoc for now, and you could research into finding one who does therapy too. i would recommend a pdoc due to your other medically oriented issues. i would also recommend a psychologist over a counsellor if possible just because your situation is complicated and as you probably know the training is more indepth with a psych.

Being BPD you know you *likely* have the tendency to use "tricks of the trade" in game playing etc, esp if feeling vulnerable. No offense meant by that at all, just using the general BPD criteria list really and experience with a few i know. Maybe personally you don't have that characteristic. If you do though, you might want a psych for that reason too.. and be upfront about it with them.

But that said, tricks of the trade aren't all there is... it's compatibility, empathy and intuitiveness... some are just naturals and for them tricks don't matter so much. You need to form some trust and then the rest will form.

i'm beginning schema therapy which was designed initially for BPD, so if you live in a large city you might want to scope that out.

i hope you find someone regardless of what paper hangs on their wall. Your feeling of safety and comfort there is the most important thing.

much peace and love

[WinterRose]

I agree with a lot of what has been said. I think a visit to a psychiatrist would help because medications might be of benefit to you, but for talking you'll want a T or Psychologist. I've never seen a Psychologist so I don't know which would be better the T or the Psychologist.

And gee whiz - doesn't the state have more than one counselor! That just sounds unreasonable to have an appointed counselor without the opportunity of change if it's not working.

[gostryter]

hey girlie! go see anything but a psychiatrist for talking...psychiatrists are odd ducks!!! i've seen (sometimes just once) at least eight that i can think of....they were all odd....odd.....odd.....odd....just odd

they only look at you from a medical standpoint (which is their job)...weighing symptoms and drug benefits....

[sunrise]

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i hope you find someone regardless of what paper hangs on their wall. Your feeling of safety and comfort there is the most important thing.

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I agree with what Gerber wrote. I think some important things to consider are not necessarily the degree, but the relationship you can form with the T and their therapeutic approach. For example, for me, the CBT approach is not a good fit, regardless of whether a psychologist or therapist is applying it. My current therapist is from the humanistic psychology approach and this is a good fit for me.

I am so sorry you are stuck with the T you don't like for another year. That sounds like torture and totally untherapeutic.

If you are interested in meds, then definitely visit a pdoc.

I have heard that therapists do not like to see clients who are seeing another therapist simultaneously (unless their scope of practice really differs from each other and is complementary: e.g. hypnotherapist and talk-therapist or pdoc and talk-therapist). So it could be difficult to line up a new therapist as long as you are still seeing the one you don't like.

[silentlyscreaming]

Thanks everyone for your advice. I never even considered a psychologist.
Everything you've all said has been valuable and noted.
I don't really think I need to see a psychiatrist because, as was mentioned, they deal with the medical aspect. I took myself off meds a couple of moths ago cos they weren't helping and I was having a great deal of side effects.
I saw my T today, and laid all my cards on the table. Told her exactly what I thought about her and her methods. I'm pretty sure she took it all in.
She spoke briefly about me seeing a sexual assault counsellor to try and get some closure for past issues. She's not sure if I can though, because I'm in the DBT program, she is going to look into it.
I've kind of decided already that I'll go see a psychologist anyway. If it's a no no, I just won't tell her.

[sunrise]

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silentlyscreaming said:
I've kind of decided already that I'll go see a psychologist anyway. If it's a no no, I just won't tell her.

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I think I would worry more about the new psychologist not knowing rather than the current therapist. It would be hard to establish a good relationship with the new T on the back of a deception from the start. If it were me, I would find the new psychologist and tell him/her right off about the therapist you hate and are stuck with. Maybe the new T could help you escape from the T you don't like.

[silentlyscreaming]

That's what I meant sunrise. I have no problem telling the new T, just not the one I'm with now