The Couch 120: The Missing Element

A little late, but...

Chemical Element Quiz:

You got: Ununoctium

You may not stick around for long, but you certainly make the most of the time you do have. And when you move on, it’s always to better things. And hopefully something better than the temporary name scientists have given you.

Well,I am up and ready to start my day. I was gone all day yesterday (Saturday). I worked at CVS from 9 - 6, then drove to C's and watched him from 6:30 - 10, then drive home and did some school work.

Got an email from my mom at 1am in the morning (while I was doing school work) asking questions about CVS.

My brother got fired from his job because he failed a drug test. It showed he had used cocaine. He sat jobless for a few days and then texted my mom that he wanted to go to rehab. He is in a rehab facility now (too far to drive to often). They have psychiatrists and counselors at this rehab facility in case there is any mental health problems causing the drug addiction/use. The psychiatrist there called a script into CVS for my brother. The rehab facility called my mom and gave her the pharmacies number to pay over the phone. She called CVS said they could only accept payments in person due to corporate policy. Which is a lie as delivery patients can pay over the phone. She was asking me if that was true. She also asked me if she could go into a CVS here to pay for it and have someone down there pick it up. Had to tell her no on that one.

She asked me to see if I could get an exception made about paying over the phone. I told her I would try calling today, but there was no guarantees that it would help. I figure that maybe they will make an exception for someone that knows they can key in a credit card over the phone.

Grrrr...why must I be asked to get involved in all of this? Oh well, I will try to see what I can do. When she told me the price, it sounded like a cash price, so I told her I would add a discount card to my brother's profile and ask the CVS where the rehab facility is to reprocess it to bring the price down. I may see if my pharmacist will call instead of me in case she could have more pull. I told my mom that if they would allow payment over the phone that I would use my HSA card that way there is less risk of it being stolen.

Well, I am going to go surf the web for a while until I have to leave for CVS. Later, couch.

Wow, element 118! Cool!

Liver biopsy for my fur-son.

((((Ellahmae)))) Lots of good thoughts heading your way.

(((Ellahmae)))

I good message for this morning. I love The Martins acapella stuff!!

Shut De Do

Thanks! Never heard of them before. Excellent singers, albeit scary-looking.

Hi couch. How is everyone today? I'm sad and anxious. My plans didn't work out and my PTSD is acting up a little.

The missing element, just so we are covered I brought the periodic table so we can figure out which one is missing.

Hey couch. I just got home from attending a releasing/clearing circle with my drumming group. It was super-fantastic!! There were probably 40 people there, and for part of it we made rhythm as a group, those of us who have drums were drumming and those who didn't rattled and we used our voices too and at one point it got really loud but we were one 'voice' y'know, not individuals making separate noises, just, wow is all I can say. It was so powerful.

And during the drumming/rattling I felt it right down to my toes... between that and yesterday with t, I have let go of my old story. And today as I beat my drum and raised my voice in my own song that blended in with those of others, I made my transition into my new story, stepping into it with gratitude and so much love in my heart. I really feel that the healing I was searching for when I first started with current t almost 5 years ago, is now done, and I am healed. And healing takes on another meaning as I move now toward a life of helping others heal - I don't know yet what that is going to look like, but I am no longer afraid. I am looking forward to discussing this with t next Saturday, and also very interested to see how a week of work will be with the changes that have happened in me this weekend.

This feels like big stuff, couchies. And I am excited for the future and writing my "new story" as I go along.

im feeling so horrible for what i did to the mother i want to call her and tell her how sorry i am and hope she forgives me . i feel so miserable .

That sounds great art.

Hugs Granite.

She is the one who should be begging your forgiveness, Granite. My hope for you is that you can hold your ground on this one. If you ask her forgiveness, you are giving her permission to continue to treat your son and you like dirt.

(((granite))) I agree with MKAC, she is the one who should be begging your forgiveness. You stood up for yourself and that was a good thing.

Call your t. Heck i would tell you to call MY t except hes on vacation. But your t was trying to tell you, at your last session, that even the one percent that she IS there for you, is more than our mothers were ever there for us. For me, anyway.

But hey. If you think it would work. Maybe you never spoke to her like that before, and maybe she never really heard you.

But i thought we were waiting on hearing im sorry from HER, and for you to forgive her. How did the shoe get on the other foot?

Just some thoughts im sorry you feel miserable. I told my t, next time (next lifetime, i guess!) I will need a t from the actual mafia, not an italian wannabee.

Just got the quote for my car. I am going to be without a car until my next payday on Tuesday week. I am then going to have borrow money from the rent and not pay some bills.

im just feeling horrible about it .im not going to reach out to her but im scared if she tries to contact me. ill fall for all the guilt because im already feeling guilty .

Seeing them makes me feel insecure about my looks. I wish i had your attitude.

Didn't mean to make anyone feel insecure. I just really love the song!

Evening, couch.

I am home from CVS. I stopped and got dinner on the way home. I have leftovers for tomorrow now.

Just checked my email and had a response for my most recent email to pdoc. Since I saw his ARNP last appointment and we were supposed to decide whether or not to keep me on the increased dose, I emailed asking if I should fill the script ARNP wrote or if we were lowing ir again. He said we are keeping it as it is for now. I am starting to think that he is not going to let me have it decreased. Saying it was temporary may have been his ploy to get me to agree to the increase. Kind of like when I first started the shots him saying I could always change my mind was his way of getting me to agree to go on them. There have been a few times since I have been on them that I requested to go off them and was told that it was not an option because I was finally stabilized. I am not saying that I want to go off the injections now, I just want it back to my original dose.

Have now made myselff thoroughly depressed about the car. I didn't think it would be that expensive.

Having a really bad weekend with chemo reaction (not me personally - my person). Want to clobber one of the person's siblings over the head-one of the most narcissistic persons I have ever met. What kind of an entitled, narcissistic nutball expects to be taken care of by someone who is struggling with stage IV cancer?

I'm so sorry BunYip. I'd be in the same boat if mine needed to go into the shop. I keep thinking I should have been a mechanic (or a dentist!) so I could afford to have things taken care of without worrying. A call center employee's paycheck isn't enough to satisfy a mechanic.

Hugs!

Clobbering would be a restrained response, methinks.