When your are told nobody can help you by a t

It happened with my first and she ended up terminating me. I thought I was going to die it was so painful and now I have found out she was supposed to be my supervisor at the centre I see liners stand she has refused to be my supervisor too.
I wi set if she told them why, I feel betrayed. I know a lot of people here have been in similar situations and even terminated and am wondering how you coped with it?

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It sounds good that she did not become your supervisor. I don't really understand the rest of it - but having a supervisor who, for whatever reason, does not want to deal with you, sounds worse to me than having them just admit they are wrong for the job.

I wasn't told no one could help me, but I was told that I was very ill and then terminated, so it's sort of similar. I have not totally gotten over it, and that was 10 years ago. Seeing a therapist who is not like that has helped a lot to recover from that, though.

There is something valuable and worthy of admiration in every single person. If somebody else can't see what's amazing about you, that doesn't mean it doesn't exist, it means their eyes are broken.

You don't need blind people in your life--not as your friend, your therapist, your supervisor, your anything.

**** that *****.

*hugs* - I've been told by a couple therapists that I needed more help than they can provide, which sure felt like "you're too broken, I don't want to deal with you, be gone you wretched human!".

It is such an awful, awful feeling... I am really sorry that you're going through that, and having to deal with this woman professionally now too.

Are you going to be able to get another supervisor? Do you currently have a supportive therapist? I think that, if you've got someone you can talk to, that might help with coping... It can be helpful to have another perspective, and to have someone who really knows you validate that you are NOT too broken to be helped.

How long ago did you see this woman? I wonder... do you feel like you've changed significantly since you saw her? You must have, right, if you're at the point of being a professional in the field and looking for supervision? Maybe that's something to think about and be proud of, that despite her short-sightedness, you did it... you're well on the road to being a success... which is the exact opposite of being un-helpable!

I hope you end up with a great supervisor, and wish you tons of success...

Did you want her as a supervisor after that ?

Perhaps edit your original post? There are some transcription errors that make it hard to understand. But if I understood correctly, a therapist who terminated you in a hurtful way has since declined to be your supervisor?

I don't think there is any other ethical course of action for her to have taken here. She had to refuse to supervise you--and thank goodness for you that she did. Sounds like it would have been a truly awful situation to be in.

I doubt that she told anyone why she couldn't supervise you. I have been in the situation before of not being able to take somebody on in a professional or supervisory capacity. I just say it wouldn't be appropriate and assign them to someone else. No one even raises an eyebrow.

I'm sorry that she terminated you in such a terrible way.

"Nobody can help you" - how presumptuous. Has she asked, or has in-depth knowledge about, every single human on the planet to reach her 'verdict'? You are well rid of her, to be honest.

Thank you for helping me see it a different way Stopdog. I was personalising it and not looking at the bigger picture which is that she isn't a very good t so why would I think she would be a good supervisor

That sounds awful to be told that and now you have been doing good work with another t can you see that maybe it was the dynamics of the relationship between you and that other t?
Hug thank you for this Argo, I really needed to hear that . we are all worthwhile. Why do we let our ts do this to us.

Thank you for your reply guilloche, I don't have any other choices besides her but now that she has refused I don't know if Ivan continue to stay there.
It has been 5 years since I last saw her. I don't believe now that nobody can help. I helped myself because after her I realised that I put too much trust in others and started being proactive.
She disempowered me and encouraged dependence. She wasn't able for me when I did become dependant on her and harped on about boundaries. I also fell in love with her which she really wasn't able for.
I did talk to my t about it but it wasn't very helpful. Turns out she knows her and she said she would not supervise someone who had disclosed those kind of feelings either.
I am sorry that you have been told those things, it's no wonder you survived and are here to tell the tale. Those kind of comments could be detrimental to someone very fragile

Yes, I am still attached to her and I wanted to see if we could work it out between us.



Thank you for your perspective on it. I would hope she wouldn't tell as that would be very unethical but I am thinking she will have to give a reason because they are going to talk to her this week as she is literally the only supervisor I can see. I will edit my post but you understood what I was trying to say .

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I very much agree. Perhaps more than anything, I have supreme disrespect when a psych professional pretends omniscience. They have knowledge of the entire world, present and future? I don't think so . They're supposed to be selling mental health.

When I was wounded, it was helpful to look at my situation on a plain person-to-person basis. Would an comment be insulting if from a peer or family member? I would take that remark as a hostile and unprofessional slap.

To answer OP's original question, I had the opposite problem from you. My co-therapists vaingloriously thought they were the only one who could help me and didn't want me to let me go. That situation was just as poisonous.

I don't believe any human being can predict our abilities to change, grow and manage our situations and problems. Many "angels" come into our lives along the way. We also help each other and ourselves. We don't know what our own lives have in store, and certainly no one else holds a crystal ball for us.

My very first T told me when she diagnosed me with schizophrenia at 13 that there was nothing she could do about it and to go see a psychiatrist. I did, eventually got somewhat stable, and 14 hospitalizations later and many meds changes and working with another T for the past 3 and a half years(I've had other therapists before, but it's never worked out) I have made great strides. I'm even in school, as a sophomore in college at 30. So It worked out in the end even though I have had Many Ts tell me there was nothing they could do for me.

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She didn't do her research on that! She also frequently said that I was the worst client which is also impossible to measure unless you were to have seen every single client on the planet and even then it would only be her summation. I really think she was way out of her dept with me. She had obviously never been in shock or had any trauma in her life because I was at the height of my trauma and she couldn't cope with me then.



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I am really glad to hear you didn't listen and kept going. I hope you are proud of yourself for defying the odds. It really goes to show that what someone says we are is not always what we should become. What kept you going and believing in yourself despite what they were telling you?

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I really don't know. I figured out ways to fight, like headphones in public, or my wife hands me her phone when I start rambling in public so it looks like I'm talking to someone, music very loud blocks out thought broadcasting when I'm in public. There are many more tricks I've learned to implement and I am still not very functional except for my school work. I'm on ssdi so I stay home most of the time and just take each day as it comes. I also have a friend called 5 that I see and hear that helps me through most of the bs.

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It sounds like you are still really attached to her, and not necessarily in a healthy way.

It sucks that she is the only supervisor on site who would be available. I think the school or the agency will need to make arrangements for you to have a different supervisor. It wouldn't be ethical (or helpful for you) to have her as your supervisor. Even working under a t you have seen a long time ago pushes the boundaries of ethics, never mind adding into the mix a dicey relationship... think of it as you being the best t for your own clients. You can't be fully present for them if you are either caught up in the past relationship with ex t, or ex t does not provide adequate and fair supervision because of your history with her...

How did you get the site if your ex t is the only available supervisor? Was there no interview? We're you simply assigned the site?

I don't know which is the lesser of the two evils, A t who thinks they know everything that is best or a t who who doesn't know how to help. They are both painful situations to be in. I agree that we help each other and ourselves the most!
Sounds like you know exactly what's best for you


I have new. Working in my hours doing my clinical experience there for the last year, she rang up about a supervision placement as she has only just become a supervisor. They accepted her offer and I was waiting patiently for our new supervisor and told that it was her
I had to change because I will begin working in my accreditation hours at the end of this month so I need a new supervisor and she is the only one I could see as the rest I have seen on a professional level in the past three years.


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