[UglyDucky]

I had a difficult time coming up with the title of this thread. After reading a post in "Romantic Feelings...", (I think that's the sub forum) I wondered if there was a school of thought in the world of psychology/psychiatry that believes the client should never see their therapist outside of the therapy session? By "see", I mean see them with their eyes, not in a romantic or friendship role. In other words, the professional conducts their life in such a way as to avoid any social contact (in the grocery store, in church, in a parking lot, on social media, etc.) w/any current client. Needless to say, trying to pull this off would be extremely difficult and isolating without in-depth planning prior to entering professional practice, but it could be done.

I've seen some information that encourages professionals to "be seen" by their clients as it produces a more real world experience. On the other hand, I'm pretty sure I've been aware, at some earlier point in my life, that some psychiatrists/psychotherapists have been trained in the school of thought that it's detrimental to the therapy process. The very existence of the first practice seems to indicate there has been (or is currently) the latter practice. This sounds a bit like a Freudian theory to me, but maybe there's no such theory or school of thought or training to support this practice.

I would appreciate any information anyone can share regarding this issue. After reading the post in "Romantic Feelings...", not seeing or experiencing one's T while in therapy might be the best way to avoid much pain.

[growlycat]

The t I interviewed recently said that he runs into patients all of the time around town. I always thought the blank slate thing was more of a true psychoanalytic approach.

I've always run into my therapists and pdocs at some point or other outside of the office. It never bothered me. They have lives to live just like the rest of us. I think keeping them real and down-to-earth has kept them less mysterious and is one of the reasons transference has never been an issue for me.

[junkDNA]

hmmm, i never thought about that. my T is certainly not of the school of thought abt not being seen. hes taken me to a restaurant to celebrate something, weve traveled to another city and even out of state together for certain reasons, we play games together every week outside of a session.. i guess my T is pretty laid back about all of that but then again he is not a blank slate T

[Unrigged64072835]

It's kind of hard to miss my T since we live in the same suburb and shop at the same places. He greets me when he sees me around. I know Ts that don't do that though because they don't want to violate confidentiality.

[stopdog]

I have never seen the first one out - and she is in the area where a lot of my friends live, where my university is and where there are a lot of restaurants etc.

The second one I may have seen out before I started paying her as a therapist - she was part of a group a friend of mine was in - but I don't really recall particularly paying any attention to her.

I don't know how they would specifically prevent it unless they had an invisibility cloak, lived a long way away, or went from home to office using underground tunnels like moles and never left into the open air.
The second one has said if she shows up someplace and sees a client - she leaves.

I honestly do not think I would recognize either of them out of context -nor them me for that matter.

my therapist nd i have done many things together outside of a therapy "office." It has been very helpful.
this thread reminds me of things i have had children tell me... they think i really am the characters i play. when they see me in real life, they cant understand that i am a real person too.
seeing my therapist kn different settings helps me see that she is a real person too. that she is not just the person she plays at in an office. it helps me see who she really is. it makes it easier for me to believe that she is who she says she is.

[UglyDucky]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I have never seen the first one out - and she is in the area where a lot of my friends live, where my university is and where there are a lot of restaurants etc.

The second one I may have seen out before I started paying her as a therapist - she was part of a group a friend of mine was in - but I don't really recall particularly paying any attention to her.

I don't know how they would specifically prevent it unless they had an invisibility cloak, lived a long way away, or went from home to office using underground tunnels like moles and never left into the open air.
The second one has said if she shows up someplace and sees a client - she leaves.

I honestly do not think I would recognize either of them out of context -nor them me for that matter.

If you don't mind, I'll PM you w/a real-life example of this. It's really quite amazing.

[stopdog]

Okay. The closest I can come is the second saying she would just leave.

[healed84]

My t has mentioned that he thought me seeing him outside of the office when he picks his kids up from school or dance helped me to trust him more. That is just seeing and no interaction other than a smile or a quick hi.

I've never seen T outside of the hospital's psychology clinic. Ex T too. Seeing them at the clinic counter talking with the counter staff is already jarring.

[Electric76]

OP: What exactly do you mean by T's being encouraged to "be seen" by clients? Like to find out what grocery store they shop at so they can "coincidentally" be seen? LOL I think its impossible to never run into a client. If a therapist has a strong preference about this, they themselves should live in a different town. On the otherhand if therapist and client attend the same ecstatic dancing workshop, that could get uncomfortable...maybe rock paper scissors?

I've seen T twice. It was difficult. Should it not happen? I don't know why not? Life is full of the unexpected

I've never seen either of the Ts I've had, in spite of living in a sparsely populated rural area 10 minutes drive from T1 and 20 mins drive from current T. It's bordering on weird now because I live in the closest town to T1 and it's a tiny town (population around 1000) and I have lunch in the village where current T lives sometimes.
I don't think it would be humanly possible to avoid the possibility altogether. They'd have to be psychic.

The one time I saw T at an event (right before intermission); she was having a great time. I thought, it's good that she has a happy life. Then I thought, I'm going to therapy because my life is sort of sad. I felt sort of shut down the rest of the evening. Guess I still have a lot of issues. I hope to not feel that way some day.

I have seen my t out a lot, only last week I parked outside where she works and she waved frantically. Another time I seen her on the town and she went out of her way to say hello. My t breaks all of the ethics I have been though but she is from a different school who practise different theory. I have done something g outside of session with t too and that wasn't weird at all but it felt wrong because it goes against everything I have been thought!

[BonnieJean]

Multiple sightings early on in therapy . Never easy. I learned I was working in the town she lived in. Once I stopped working there the sightings ended.

I've seen my t once outside of her office, but that was planned. It was over a year ago, before she moved back here, she was in town on business and I hadn't seen her for over 2 years (during which time we'd done phone sessions), so we arranged to meet where she was staying. At the time, she was planning on moving somewhere else, so it would've been my only chance to see her and she knew that it was important to me to "see" her in person again. As far as unplanned - never. And we've never talked about what would happen if we did. I imagine we would say something like "hello, nice to see you" and continue on our way.

[acceptance]

I hope i never see T outside of office.

I even try not to go out on weekends with family, in fear i might bump into him. Our kids r the same age. I take a shift to work on weekends mainly, to get out of family outings.
When i do go out on weekends with family, i am always scanning for his car in the parking lot.

Totally weird and crazy. I know!

[Ellahmae]

I frequently see my T outside of the office and in a non-therapy setting. At first it was awkward but now it's like therapy doesn't exist even though she knows so much about me. It is strange seeing the 'real' her instead of the office her - they are VERY different but I love and appreciate each "version". It's hard to explain but it doesn't bother me and in fact it helps deepen that relationship.

Originally Posted by stopdog

...or went from home to office using underground tunnels like moles and never left into the open air..

I am very amused by the image of an secret underground network of tunnels only known about and used by mental health workers scurrying to and from home and office.

[sweepy62]

I see my t on ocassions , at art exhibitions, downtown, it's very comfortable, we talk, about art. We both have the same interests, know most of the same art people, we both talked about how we might be bumping into each other alot. It's all good.

[coolibrarian]

My T and I have mutual friends, and also some things in common, so we do run into each other at various events. Only 1 of our mutual friends knows that she is my T.

Absolutely never. It is one thing to see or bump into their Therapist or Psychiatrist out in public, but I am of the opinion that any relationship ought to be strictly confined to the office. I cringe when I see that many people expect such things as contact outside the therapy room. In my books social contact like email and texting should be forbotten. That is what they have assistants and an office for.

[WrkNPrgress]

The therapist is a human being. I can't imagine how anyone could restrict their life as to never been seen in the world outside their office.

I saw my T in a restaurant with her family once, she and I stood in line and chatted. It was a nice interaction and it made her more relatable to me. I also have met people who know her from her previous job, as a friend. Though we don't' talk about her, it's a friendly reminder that this person is a human being with their own life.

I think it's good to be exposed to some 'real world' aspects of T because if a client builds up some superhuman image of their therapist, they're bound to be disappointed eventually. Dealing with actual human beings is one of the main points in therapy, IMO.