[ScarletPimpernel]

So I got a text from my T this morning saying she had to have emergency surgery, that she is fine, but not well enough to work this week.

Now part of me feels for her. I don't want her to be in any pain. I know she won't tell me what happened because that's too personal, but I worry about her. I also completely understand taking off time to heal.

But...

The other part of me is really upset. This past month we've missed a couple sessions. First was because her office was too hot. Then last week I had to miss because I was moving. Now this week she's not feeling good. That's two missed sessions in a row! This move has been really hard on me, and I was really looking forward to and needing to see her this week.

I'm not going to let her know how upset I am. That would make me a self-centred person. But this distance btwn us is making that push/pull feeling come up (wanting to be closer and wanting to push her away). This is a time where I wish the therapeutic relationship was a little more two-sided. I think if I knew what was wrong and could help in some way, I would feel better about the situation.

[kecanoe]

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

So I got a text from my T this morning saying she had to have emergency surgery, that she is fine, but not well enough to work this week.

Now part of me feels for her. I don't want her to be in any pain. I know she won't tell me what happened because that's too personal, but I worry about her. I also completely understand taking off time to heal.

But...

The other part of me is really upset. This past month we've missed a couple sessions. First was because her office was too hot. Then last week I had to miss because I was moving. Now this week she's not feeling good. That's two missed sessions in a row! This move has been really hard on me, and I was really looking forward to and needing to see her this week.

I'm not going to let her know how upset I am. That would make me a self-centred person. But this distance btwn us is making that push/pull feeling come up (wanting to be closer and wanting to push her away). This is a time where I wish the therapeutic relationship was a little more two-sided. I think if I knew what was wrong and could help in some way, I would feel better about the situation.

Makes a lot of sense to me.

[Favorite Jeans]

I think if I knew what was wrong and could help in some way, I would feel better about the situation

My therapist also had to cancel a session a while back because of a medical emergency she was having. I felt very much the same way. I had a perverse desire to be involved in whatever was going on and be part of the decision-making.

[junkDNA]

if my T texted me and told me he was having emergency surgery i would freak out. i have a huge fear of him dying. like.... intense... unhealthy..fear. anyway, i understand your anger and urge to help out

[Luce]

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

I think if I knew what was wrong and could help in some way, I would feel better about the situation.

That makes so much sense. If you knew what was wrong and could help in some way that would give you a tiny bit of control in this situation. As it is you have none. No wonder it feels so stressful and scary.
Take care of you. T will be back soon.

[ScarletPimpernel]

Originally Posted by junkDNA

if my T texted me and told me he was having emergency surgery i would freak out. i have a huge fear of him dying. like.... intense... unhealthy..fear. anyway, i understand your anger and urge to help out

Just a few weeks ago when we missed because her office was too hot, I told her I felt like something else was going to happen and it would be forever until I see her again. Looks like it came true...just a few weeks off.

My other problem is that she's moving offices next week. So I'll have to adjust to a new setting as well.

[divine1966]

I wonder why she can't tell you ( unless it's the kind of things one simply cannot share)? Mine had big health issue and she told me. And I don't even have hard time if sessions get cancelled. My students have hard time if I am gone and they don't know why so I always give them at least general ideas

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[Gettingitsoon]

My T has always told me a general idea of what has happened when an unexpected emergency comes up. Not that either of us believes I would be involved in helping out in the situation....more like as a way to assure me that she would be returning.

Not that I don't worry a bit of course.

[Unrigged64072835]

It's hard not to feel disappointed, even when the situation is out of your control.

I do hope that your T makes a complete recovery.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I'm just assuming she won't tell me what the surgery was for. She doesn't disclose very much, so I guess I should be grateful that she told me it was an emergency surgery instead of saying it's a family emergency. But I'm still curious. How bad was it to need surgery? And to not be able to work this week?

My mom has surgeries all the time (like 1 a year). They don't phase me. But all of them are planned.

[coolibrarian]

Maybe it was oral surgery, and that's why she can't work (talk) this week. Or maybe it's something else. In any case, you have every right to feel what you're feeling and if it were me, I'd definitely tell my therapist how I felt when my session was cancelled. You can be upset about that AND care about her at the same time.