[retro_chic]

So there have been many times during session when I get what my T calls "feeling blocked" as in I can't express what I'm feeling, withdraw or shutdown. I have had a week off from therapy and have been thinking about this issue a fair bit. I have identified a few reasons/triggers as to why this happens and have also come up with two things that could possibly help me work through the feeling. The first thing I thought of was something that my T suggested a while ago which is lying down. The second thing I thought that might help is hugging a cushion or bringing a stuffed toy to hug. I was wondering if you guys have any suggestions based on your therapy experiences?

I have been getting into a weird pattern lately where one week I'll be able to open up more and engaged during session and the next week I will feel "blocked". I'm not sure what the deal is. I think it is to do with the fact that I want to make progress and get to the bottom of my issues but then I get too scared but I'm still not quite sure.

[nicoleflynn]

You might try writing down your thoughts and feelings and give them to your t.

I think that's just normal ways we work.

[Waterbear]

My T calls it stuckness and we want to get to the bottom of it too. It may make up some of the work coming up so I will let you know how I get on, by PM maybe. I would be interested to hear how you get on too.

I use a stuffed toy but mainly for the floating away, disassociation I think. It brings me back to the room. My problem with the stuckness is if I push myself to unstick then I float away. I find it so much easier when T and I are sat really close together because I can't reach her when we are further apart. When we are close the physical barrier of space does not add to the stuckness if that makes sense.

She holds my hand sometimes too and I think that helps but as I say we just touched on it as a point to work on yesterday.

[AllHeart]

I also become blocked, withdrawn, and unable to decipher what is running rampant through my head at times. Things that have helped me :

- Fidgets. Holding, rubbing, and looking at a rock somehow enables me to get things out.
- Quick connection. My t might tell me something that happened to her recently, or we'll engage in a little casual chit chat to "bring me back" and calm my nerves.
- One word. My t will ask me if I can get just one word out about something. Then she will start asking questions around that one word which eventually unblocks me and gets me talking.

I hope you and your t can find something that helps you out soon. Good luck!

[retro_chic]

Originally Posted by nicoleflynn

You might try writing down your thoughts and feelings and give them to your t.

I do that sometimes but I am also working on being able to spontaneously expressing how I'm feeling in the moment and also sometimes I just don't "feel like" writing things down - I guess when I'm trying to avoid something.

[retro_chic]

Originally Posted by Waterbear

My T calls it stuckness and we want to get to the bottom of it too. It may make up some of the work coming up so I will let you know how I get on, by PM maybe. I would be interested to hear how you get on too.

I use a stuffed toy but mainly for the floating away, disassociation I think. It brings me back to the room. My problem with the stuckness is if I push myself to unstick then I float away. I find it so much easier when T and I are sat really close together because I can't reach her when we are further apart. When we are close the physical barrier of space does not add to the stuckness if that makes sense.

She holds my hand sometimes too and I think that helps but as I say we just touched on it as a point to work on yesterday.

Yes, I have trouble staying present too if I try to push through the stuckness/blocked feeling. I was kind of hoping hugging a cushion/stuffed toy might provide me some comfort since my T wont hug me. I don't think my T would hold my hand based on what I know about her and her boundaries.

Let me know how you go with this though, I'd be interested to hear about it! Good luck

[retro_chic]

Originally Posted by AllHeart

I also become blocked, withdrawn, and unable to decipher what is running rampant through my head at times. Things that have helped me :

- Fidgets. Holding, rubbing, and looking at a rock somehow enables me to get things out.
- Quick connection. My t might tell me something that happened to her recently, or we'll engage in a little casual chit chat to "bring me back" and calm my nerves.
- One word. My t will ask me if I can get just one word out about something. Then she will start asking questions around that one word which eventually unblocks me and gets me talking.

I hope you and your t can find something that helps you out soon. Good luck!

Thanks for the suggestions! The fidget thing is kind of similar to my hugging a cushion/stuffed toy thing so I'd be interested to give that a try. My T and I have tried something similar to the "quick connection" suggestion in that we just change the topic and talk about something else. The only problem with that is I still don't want to go back and deal with the original topic that was causing me to feel blocked. I think the one word idea could be good to try too!

[sweepy62]

I also get blocked, I have a hard time expressing myself, I don't know how to name what I feel, unless it's anger or sad, lol. She says something about emotional disregulation. I become blocked to the point I almost stutter, I can't spit it
out. I can understand what you mean by blocked in session.

she asks me why I'm being stubborn and asks me to justfy myself with real hard fact. She challenges me in a very tough manner

[waterlogged]

Sometimes it helps if my T asks what's going on in my body.

This happens to me too. I will be chatting away and suddenly become still and withdrawn. I will put my head down and avoid eye contact. In the last few months t has started to say "it's happening again Mona" because sometimes I don't know when it's happening.
T will say what just happened because your mood changed so rapidly. I feel like I can't talk when this happens and t says " I can't support you if you disconnect from me so try to stay present". She asks me to put my feet on the ground or to look around the room. This doesn't always work and t gets very frustrated. She will keep repeating my name until I look at her.
This week t asked what happened right before my mood changed I wasn't really sure. I think it's when I feel judged or shamed by something she says but I told her that and she just said I was blaming her and that something happened in me that I chose to withdraw.
She says she feels sad that I do this to myself. I often say I can't speak and she says can't or won't because you are doing this to yourself.
She has a counter transference reaction and feels as though I am with holding and with drawing for her deliberately and she gets frustrated. When she gets annoyed at me I become worse and stay quiet for longer. I have told her that I don't like it when she gets angry, it scares me but she says that's making excuses because something happened first to withdraw.
I am sorry about my rant about my own therapy experience but I was surprised to see how other ts reacted. You have a good relationship with your t retro perhaps there is something happening within the relationship that is causing this block! I hope you can try explore it together in a kind supportive way to you.

[skeksi]

I get suddenly shut down, too. T and I have been struggling with how to deal with it for years. He keeps reframing it in different ways to try to understand why it happens.

What has helped me is talking about being stuck, when it happens, and how it frustrates and scares me, etc. I used to just seethe and try to force myself to talk about what I'd been saying earlier but that just kept me shut down. When I talk with T about how being shut down feels, I am at least still connecting with him and it helps.