if you credit therapy, do you know what/how it did specifically to help?

I definately can see more hope and experience less anxiety symptoms.. I many times walk in my T office with hard situations very anxious. and leave there much more settled and feeling 'processed" somehow.. To know he understands me and I can talk about good and bad and be known in full without rejection.. Which is majorly my issue.. is super huge. He gives me real life tools on how to change unhealthy thoughts and coping and turn it around.. I'm feeling wayyyyy better after 7 months!!! way!! He is psychodynamic.

Therapy gave me skills to break down situations, understand them better, and cope as a result. CBT was huge. BUT, for CBT to work one must make the tools a lifestyle.

My last therapy ended in failure but my own compulsive research plus the support and validation I feel on PC sometimes and some other support groups is, finally, allowing me to put the pieces together and even, yes, maybe, eventually see myself in a kinder light.

I suggested Heinz Kohut's work on another thread, particularly for me "Restoration of the Self" which I read several years ago. My T just couldn't get it apparently -- why IDK, doesn't matter, we're done. A specialist in that kind of psychodynamic therapy might, but IDK -- all probably their problems, too. But if the client and T can be on the same page cognitively, then that may help?

Validation IS very important I believe, as yagr mentioned. Ultimate I didn't get it from my T but I have in some weird ways gotten it on PC. Still working on, still feeling shaky sometimes, may come of as a jerk or something else like that here sometimes, but it doesn't seem to be disastrous when I do, so I'm maybe making some progress.

I think it was the validation of my pain and my feelings and someone else hearing me for the first time. Having empathy and being understood. The cbt theory does not work for me, of course I can change my thinking or actions but if others still do the same its only tricking yourself, the wound underneath is still hurting!

I guess for me it was a way to vent. I don't have much of a support system at all and I don't have anyone that would really care to hear my complaints or celebrations in life. I used my T in this fashion which was helpful. She would call it nonsense talk but to me it wasn't. I found that when I wasn't able to email her anymore then I had no one to go to and so I kept it inside. Then when we started to hit a wall in session then I lost my inspiration to talk. For the years that I was in session the venting was helpful to that extent but that's all it was. To some extent she did bring a few things to my awareness. I'm more aware of how I react to situations and things to take into consideration. Therapy didn't make much of a difference when it concerns my major stressors. According to my T psychodynamic is upload to be client led. There were certain subjects that I couldn't lead. Now that I'm typing this its all a confusing concept. I guess I felt that I would attend and somehow she would've helped me extract those subjects and helped me with them instead of me addressing and deciphering things on my own. Maybe I needed a different style of therapy but then again finding a good therapist is not an easy task.

Talking to someone who is "paid to listen" (but also a concerned human being who is good at their job) allows me to talk about my fears and insecurities and other dark matters without any fear of alienating them as a "friend" or worrying about who they might know that they would tell. The fact is only a licensed professional can provide that kind of no-holes-barred conversation space. With friends and family, we often feel the need to comfort them or not bother them too much, etc.

As a direct example: I recently went through a breakup with an emotionally abusive partner. Therapy provided a safe space for me to recognize and work through my own feelings in all of this at my own pace. Whereas I felt my family and friends were 'invested' in the perceptions of us as a "couple." I also could not rely on my family for the kind of support I needed.

This extends to other areas of my life as well. There are a lot of things I am realizing about how I work and why I do the things I do and where I need to improve that I don't get via conversations with friends or family.

Therapy was destructive for me.