Does my T want a reaction from me by telling things about herself?

I like when my T tells about herself but sometimes I feel that perhaps she is looking for some kind of reaction from me, like me asking a follow-up question, that I show some kind of opinion about what she told me or similar.

As I know there isn´t and shouldn´t be a dual relationship and as I also know a lot about therapy I don´t give her anything like comments, opinions as I don´t won´t to fall into a possible "trap". By that I mean she prepares some things to say before our meeting to get me to say things about my self instead of asking me straight out.

I don´t know if this is the case, I just sometimes feel she tells me things which if she had been a friend, I had really shown empathy about, asking questions about and so on and now it´s not my role to play as I´m her client.

Therapy can be a place to practice skills that are needed in real life. Perhaps she feels you need to work on socialization skills?

No, I don´t have any problems to talk to her, to share things and answer questions, in this case it´s more about her reasons for telling me personal things from her life, if she in those cases want to see my specific reactions about more delicate things.

If she is looking for a reaction, I wonder why. What could be her intentions for trying to get that reaction from self-disclosures out of you? It seems like she might be doing something that is serving her needs, not necessarily yours.

Perhaps she want reactions from me around situations I haven´t been in. As an example she tells a bit about her teenage relationships and I have never been in a relationship at all and perhaps she wants me to reflect on that, to think a little different.

How do you mean it could serve her needs?

Sounds manipulative. I don't think therapists should play games or send mixed or ambiguous messages.

perhaps you should ask her.

Yeah, it's hard to know for sure why your therapist tells you things about herself. Mine doesn't share much of anything.

Sounds like this is more about her and not you. Why all the disclosures? I definitely think therapists do get something out these disclosures especially if they don't have anything to do with you or your issues as these specific disclosures don't. I would ask her, why are you telling me this? Do you think you could be that direct with your t?
My t told me something recently and at first I was happy that she had chose to tell me, it made me feel important and special but the reality is very different. She used my time that I am paying her for to use me. She played on my empathy and the whole session and the ones after revolved around her dilemma and soon I felt as though I was her therapist. I felt as though I needed to take care of her and couldn't burden her with my issues.
I don't agree with most therapist disclosures unless a client asks them specifically.

Have you tried Googling " selfdisclosure and therapy ". That may give you some answers

I wonder if she is trying to get you to open up about things. My T will sometimes give tell me personal information or will say things like " a lot of woman think x". She told me once that the reason she does this is to find out what I really think when it might be something I would hold back on. Example, when discussing parenting issues she told me about how she would handle being overwhelmed and angry at her child. They were things that she wasn't proud of. It lead to a discussion about some of my mistakes as a mom. This was early on in our relationship and i wasn't completely open about my parenting for fear sle would think I was a horrible mom.

This is exactly the sort of thing that my marriage counselor does, including the parenting examples. Much of his disclosures are to relate to H and I, to make us feel more comfortable, to make us feel more "normal." Though sometimes the connections aren't quite as clear, like he was going for a certain analogy, but it didn't quite work (like one where he had to compensate for being short when playing basketball--I forget what issue of mine he was trying to tie it into, but it really wasn't the same kind of thing!) And OK, I think sometimes he just likes to share stories with us. But part of that I think is also making and maintaining a connection with us.

If you wonder why your T has shared certain things, I'd just ask. Like, "I'm curious as to why you shared that?" Or if something she shares seems like oversharing, you could let her know, though I understand how that would be awkward.

My therapist has mentioned he uses self-disclosure to encourage his clients to view him as a fellow ordinary person with struggles, and not an idealized figure or blank slate. It's in keeping with his mode of working. I don't think he's looking for any particular kind of reaction from me at all.

Your therapist might similarly have a particular reason for working this way. It might help to discuss it. If it were me I might say something like "I'm always a little worried I'm not reacting properly when you tell me personal things", just to open the door into a conversation, but I understand this might be hard.

Sarah, I think she is just trying to get you used to socializing and small talk. You can ask her if you are still concerned, I'm sure she will answer you. You seem to be searching for something to be wrong with her. Would you agree with that? If so, do you know why?

I think they do it so the client will think they are bonding/ common ground and because, for some unknown reason, they seem to think if they do something - then the client will be all like "oh wow - it must be okay to do/feel X if therapist does it"
I had to tell the ones I see that they are least likely people I would ever say that about (I usually don't do it with anyone - but if I was going to do it, it certainly wouldn't be a therapist - I think those guys are batshit crazy)

I think this is an effort to get you to open up about yourself and initiate a 'give and take'

I personally seek out therapists who keep this to a minimum....

Thanks. As she mentions choosen things briefly I don´t feel it´s more about her than me but I do sometimes wonder if she looks for a reaction or a comment to things I don´t normally talk about. Like sex and relationships for example.

I don´t at all feel she prying but I´m unsure of how to react, I don´t want to seem non-caring but not too engaged either. I´m sorry your T use that much of your time talking about herself. I don´t feel like a T to my T but more like if she thinks I´m to shy, to stiff or whatever and by telling me about herself she wants to bring me to talk more. I´m not sure.

Thanks. Yes, I feel this way too mostly, not that she´s trying to use my time or anything but as I focus on not judging or seem too surprised about anything she tells me she don´t give that much of a reaction from me, perhaps she wants more. I think she tries to normalize things but as I haven´t experienced some of the things she tells about it´s hard for me to answer back with comments and so on. Some things I also see as personal and I would never ask her follow-up questions or anything.

Thanks. Yes, my T has told me something similar, that she wants to be like a fellow person but with restrictions around what she says of course. But one risk as I see it, especially as my T and I are quite different from each other in some areas in life, is that I may begin to question her instead. Not her competence but her judgment, how she lives and so on. I haven´t done so yet, I like her, but if she keeps telling me stuff that I find a bit immoral and so on, that could be negative to the relationship.

I don´t want to talk to her about this as she doesn´t tell me personal things every time and when she does it´s not taking over the session.

At only the 2nd session with our new t (marriage counseling), he told us something very intimate and personal about himself that was jaw dropping. My h and I didn't know what to say, so we said nothing. I think he did it go put my h at ease about our problems not being as devastating. It was very strange. I'm not sure how I feel about it. It instantly put him on a different level in my mind, as far as very raw and real.