[itjustis]

I'm posting a lot on here these past couple of days, I'm sorry, I'm just having trouble with my feelings!

I adore my T, she's amazing and helps me so much. But what I can't understand is the conflicting feelings I'm having about her/towards her. Sometimes I jump from liking/loving her and other times I really don't like her much at all. And on days I like her I really wish I didn't?

I'm just not sure where these push-pull feelings are coming from and why they are being stirred up now?

I'm so confused!

[therapyishelping777]

Could it be, the closer you get to her, the more intimate, the subconscience is resisting that and wanting to fight it. ? When we get closer to people we see their negative , unidealized parts.. Everyone has good and bad.. maybe its pushing through to another level of the relationship therapeutically that is challenging you.? just thoughts?

[itjustis]

Originally Posted by therapyishelping777

Could it be, the closer you get to her, the more intimate, the subconscience is resisting that and wanting to fight it. ? When we get closer to people we see their negative , unidealized parts.. Everyone has good and bad.. maybe its pushing through to another level of the relationship therapeutically that is challenging you.? just thoughts?

You may well be on to something there, thanks so much. Those are great points to consider. I'll put it across this way to T when I see her.

I was in the thick of maternal attachment and wanted her to desperately be my mother. I've come through that now and I realise I need her more as my T than anything else right now. Maybe this is where, as you mention, about pushing through to another level of the therapeutic relationship.