[AnxiousGirl]

I feel sick to my stomach. I had T today and was asked if I was still anxious about my health and if I was still doing some habits that I wasn't supposed to. I said that I was fine and I hadn't done the habits for a week (which was a lie). On the contrary, I wasn't able to eat, sleep, or focus on anything but my health anxiety and two nights ago I was crying hysterically in my moms bed and sat up until 5 in the morning until my body just shut down and I passed out and slept the entire next day.

I guess the reason I lied was because I didn't want to let my T down because when I said I didn't know what I wasn't supposed to, my T got so happy and said she was so proud of me and I'm extremely motivated about my goals. Now if I tell her I lied, who knows what shell think of me and how disappointed shell be.

The only way shell know I was lying was if I email her about it, which Im contemplating. (My T always encourages emailing).

Im stuck.. Any thoughts? Thanks!

[coolibrarian]

I think the longer you wait before you admit you lied, the harder it will be. Since your T encourages email, do that. You should probably talk about it in session, too.

[LonesomeTonight]

I agree that you should e-mail sooner rather than later. I'm sure she's used to having clients not be completely honest with her. She'll still support you even if you didn't accomplish the goals. And I don't think she'll be disappointed in you--she will want to help you feel better. Hugs...

[AnxiousGirl]

Thanks guy. I guess what I'm worried about most is that this will ruin her trust with me. Because if I lied now, what if she thinks I'll do it again you know? On one hand I want to hide the face that I lied and on the other hand I don't want to hide the fact that I still have severe anxiety.

[BonnieJean]

Originally Posted by AnxiousGirl

Thanks guy. I guess what I'm worried about most is that this will ruin her trust with me. Because if I lied now, what if she thinks I'll do it again you know? On one hand I want to hide the face that I lied and on the other hand I don't want to hide the fact that I still have severe anxiety.

Good points. If you're in therapy for severe anxiety and you report it has subsided how can t help you? Maybe going forward she will wonder if you're lying. But if you 'fess up' now she'll also have confidence that you'll likely let her know about it. I hope it goes well for you.

[AllHeart]

Originally Posted by AnxiousGirl

Thanks guy. I guess what I'm worried about most is that this will ruin her trust with me. Because if I lied now, what if she thinks I'll do it again you know? On one hand I want to hide the face that I lied and on the other hand I don't want to hide the fact that I still have severe anxiety.

I'm sure your t will understand. We all say and do things we regret later. Fessing up, coming clean shows that you have a good conscience. What you are doing is taking accountability and making things right because you want to - not because you got busted and have to. That's integrity, and integrity actually builds trust. Besides all of that, letting your t know what is really going on is going to help you get the help you need from her.

[AnxiousGirl]

Thanks all. I'll be sure to write an email and most definitely apologize to her tonight or tomorrow. I feel bad for what I've done.

[skeksi]

I don't think T's usually feel betrayed when we lie. I think they understand that we are afraid to tell the truth sometimes. In T, I think lying can be different from in the real world.

Sharing the truth with your T will help you feel less guilty, and help you and her be on the same page about where you are. I think both of you will be glad when you tell the truth.

[AnxiousGirl]

You all make such good points. Ill send the email and tell T the truth. Hopefully I feel more calm once I get a reply saying it's all good.