My t just takes out her diary and puts on her glasses. She then says, is it ok to finish here?
I would like a bit of warning when are coming to the end of a session, time to wind myself down, especially if it's an emotional session.
How does your t finish, do they have any weird rituals or sayings?
My new t did a meditation and that was a nice way to finish because her voice was very soothing.

[junkDNA]

my T and i both pay attention to the time so its not awkward or abrupt when we end. he usually asks what i will do the rest of the day, or week, or weekend. then he says see ya (insert day i will see him again). there have been times i kinda left in a hurry and left him sitting in his chair in his office... but most of the time he walks me to the door

[stopdog]

The therapist does not do anything.
I see time is up - I toss money on the table and walk out.

[itjustis]

My T diverts me on to another topic if its been a rough session. I appreciate that because I need time to come back to the real world! She asks if I'm ok and what my plans for the day are - then she walks me to the door and usually leaves me with some sweet/kind remark.

[Waterbear]

I can mostly sense that we are drawing to a close because she gently tries to wrap things up so there aren't major loose ends so to speak. We don't finish on the dot so it can be awkward but this has got much easier in the last 6 weeks or so. Sometimes I sense it too early though and so we have some silent time towards the end as I don't want to bring anything new up or am feeling awkward about what to do next. Sometimes she asks what I will be doing, sometimes not. Sometimes we book a next appointment, sometimes it is already booked in. She has never yet let me leave without booking one in and it is nice to know she is aware of whether we have one coming up. We always have a hug and then she walks with me to the front gate and stands there as I walk down the drive. She waves as I walk down the road and I wave back. I never feel as if she is saying good riddance, despite what may have gone on in the session. I guess it is like never going to sleep on an argument. It really helps.

ETA for the first few months it was very hard ending because they all felt fairly abrubt. This was due to me finding it so hard to start that I only really got engaged towards the end.

[mindwrench]

He walks over to his computer and asks me which time and day works better. Then he opens the door.

And it's interesting how much power we give to the therapist. Why is it their decision how it finishes. Stopdog does not allow her therapist that control and decides when and how her session ends, I like that idea. I am picturing that infamous line from Home Alone being muttered on the way out "Keep the change, ya filthy animal"!

[Unrigged64072835]

My T usually says, "We need to wrap things up, but do you have anything else to add?" We make sure we're on track for the next week (or reschedule if we need to). Then we walk out to the front of the office. He usually shakes my hand and gives me some encouragement for the rest of the week.

[LonesomeTonight]

If we're in the middle of talking about something serious/intense, marriage counselor will generally be like, "We'll need to wrap up soon, but...," then keep going for a bit. (He'll go over by 5 or 10 minutes sometimes). So it's a time warning, of sorts. He seems to try to wait till we're in a pretty good place before stopping. When he shifts from the couch to his desk chair, that's about time to end (he'll check his schedule to see if our usual time works). Sometimes he'll still be talking to us or maybe telling us a story/anecdote before we go (or we'll be sharing some random thing with him.) We'll figure out schedule, he'll stand up, open the door, and hold out his hand. We'll each shake his hand, and he'll either just be continuing to talk to us or say, "It was good to see you" to each of us, then we walk out his door. He usually walks us the short distance to the waiting area, then says, "Take care!"

T is much more strict regarding time, so I keep a closer eye on the clock (there's also not a functioning clock I can easily see in MC's office). So I generally know when it's about time to stop and will be like, "I know we have to stop in a minute." When it's time to end, she'll generally be like, "We do have to stop," then will grab her appointment book. She sometimes lets me go a couple minutes over, too, but not to the extent that MC does. She'll stand up and open the door, sometimes saying "take care," sometimes "see you next week." She doesn't generally walk me out unless she's headed to get water or coffee.

[velcro003]

My T was pretty loose with her time boundaries until she got yelled at by her supervisor Even so, I can see her checking the clock a little more often, and if we are in the middle of something serious she'll say "We only have a few minutes left." But usually she changes the topic to something light, stands up, puts her shawl away, and I go "I'll get up, I swear," and eventually stand up and hand her her check.

in english its Approximately "holy ---- look at the time! we needed to (get to a meeting, go to class, get to bed, be at the doctors office) an hour ago!

[ruh roh]

My therapist doesn't really do anything that I notice in particular. I keep track of the time and wrap it up. Unlike stopdog, I hand over the check before I sit down, so I don't have to worry about forgetting payment at the end and having go dash back with it (which has happened a few times).

[stopdog]

I don't pay until the end because what if it gets cut short or something? I have never forgotten to pay - I don't want to pay ahead of time until I receive the time.

The first one did try getting up and coming at me at the door - which I though was pointless. I know where the door is, I am willing to leave, and it is a small room with only about 4 feet from the awful couch that clients must endure to the door. It is not like I was going to get lost.
I made her stop doing that after the second or third time. I thought she was nuts. She said she thought it was polite. I would rather her stay back.

[ruh roh]

I thought that at first, but then realized that I would owe the full fee regardless of how long I am there, since there's a 24 hour cancellation policy.

eta: I do like that my therapist walks to the door, although I get to it first, so it's more like walking after than walking with.

[Out There]

We both keep an eye on the time so it winds down naturally , we usually go 5-10 minutes over but it's more me that winds it down. He follows me downstairs and sees me to the door , says " have a good week " then waits till I'm out of the gate and walking down the road a little before shutting the door.

[therapyishelping777]

My T has some good boundaries on time.. hes always on top of that and will say, looks like time is up for today.. then if its a payment week, I'll give him payment, and he'll stand up and walks me out the door and says have a nice week. I feel dorky bopping down the steps..

[skeksi]

Usually T tells me "5 minutes left" and he often asks something like how I thought the session went. If I'm really dissociated he starts asking about what I will do after the session to try to pull me out of it.

These days, we usually both realize it at the same time and she's pulling out her calendar book while I'm getting her check out of my purse. Or if she notices first, she'll say quietly "well, we have to stop now...." or I will notice first and not-so-quietly say "Crap! We're out of time!" (or some other choice 4-letter word).

[LonesomeTonight]

I have to say, I'm glad I go to a multi-T practice that has a receptionist. The idea of handing a T a check or cash at the end of the session just feels weird to me. I prefer to keep that part separate. The few times I've been there after receptionist hours or on the weekend and had T or marriage counselor handle the credit card machine just felt odd (one time, MC just said we could just pay the next time).

My t walks me to the door too, I guess I never really thought about the "why" before. I get the feeling that she wants to be the one to unlock it - not sure why, I am perfectly capably of turning the lock thingy. And yeah I'm not going to get lost between the couch and the door either, it's all of what 10 feet maybe.

(Possibly it's so she can push me out the door if I decide I don't want to leave afterall. )

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

I have to say, I'm glad I go to a multi-T practice that has a receptionist. The idea of handing a T a check or cash at the end of the session just feels weird to me. I prefer to keep that part separate. The few times I've been there after receptionist hours or on the weekend and had T or marriage counselor handle the credit card machine just felt odd (one time, MC just said we could just pay the next time).

One of the things I've worked on quite a bit with t is this "money complex" that I struggle with, so she started saying "thank you for the energy" because "money is just energy", she says. I always pay after because then I can flee immediately after dealing with the financial part.

[Sarmas]

My t would usually end by telling me where we would pick up next week. She followed through on that some of the time. Other times she would tell me that I have 5 minutes or so to bring up an important topic. At times she brought out her calendar in order to discuss scheduling. The worse for me was the 5 min to focus something important. I didn't take that well. Why would anybody discuss that in the allotted time?

[Argonautomobile]

After about 15-20 minutes of check-in, he'll say something like 'Should we pause here? Or is there anything else you'd like to talk about?" or "This seems like a good place to pause, unless you want to bring up something else?" I can bring up another issue, if I'd like, but usually I say "no" and we wrap up within 5 or so minutes.

When we had weekly sessions and I took up the whole 45/50 minute session, I'd get a 5 or 10 minute warning of "Well, were running up against time" or something like that.

It sounds sort of artificial now that I write it out, but it's never seemed that way. My T isn't gifted in all things (*cough* punctuality *cough*) but he's quite good at this. It's never seemed abrupt or rude, always natural.

[SoConfused623]

I will just quickly summarize the whole process....

T works with a bunch of other T's in a very large old mansion where there are tons of rooms and stairs. There is a large reception area where you check in and pay. I pay and sit down to wait for my T to call down to have them send me up to her office. When it's time,(On the dot, NEVER late) I hike up 1/2 million stairs and arrive at T's office usually a little winded. She always enthusiastically says, "Hello, SoConfused623, come on in!" I sit down we look at each other and she says, "Where would you like to start?" There are very little pleasantries. And I always say that I need a minute to catch my breath and then I get embarrassed because she's just looking at me waiting for me to say something.

When time is up, we are both pretty aware of it because we can each see a clock and she always says the same thing, "And we are there" and then she grabs her appointment book. We agree on a time and she says, "see you then" and she watches me walk to her door which is about 4 steps away. Something is wrong with her doorknob (it's more than 100 years old!) and sometimes it's hard to get the door open and she just sits there watching me. I hate this part! I think that in the past 2 years, I've only seen her standing twice...

I think that I'm going to talk to T about this awkwardness and ask her to tell me a little bit about her self while I catch my breath. This would just be for a laugh because we both know that she would never tell me anything!

Then on the way out, I'm going to ask her to open the door for me if she doesn't mind...she's in phenomenal shape and it's not like she's lazy, I just think that she stays away as part of her boundaries. In fact, she never shook my hand when we first met either...

[ruh roh]

I once saw a therapist who never rose from her chair. I knew two other people who saw her and we all wondered about this. The best I could determine was that she never left the chair and that workers would put batteries in her in the morning and take them out at night after the last client left.