How does your t close a session?

I am not talking about me leaving -I am talking about if the therapist had an emergency or cut it short for some reason. I would not owe the whole fee then.

I really would not like dealing with receptionists or staff at all - especially about the money part. I don't want any other people between the therapist and client.

We have an elaborate ending ritual so there is not much chance of losing track of time. We need about 10 minutes to get through the whole thing.

My T says: "Our time is about up. Is there anything else you wish to discuss?" Then she'll confirm when I see her next. We get up and hug. She opens the door. I thank her and she wishes me a good week.

He abruptly and without warning stands upright from his chair and throws a ninja impact smoke bomb at the floor beneath his feet. Once the billowing plume of blinding white vapor dissipates, he is gone.

T will say "We have to stop now." and turn her roller chair to the computer which is idling. Type in her password, pull up the EHR, tell me when she can next see me.

Then I take out my letter from my bag as she prints the time-chit I need to give my boss and HR.

I stand up and so does she. I hug her and let go. Pick up my bag and walk to the door. Turn around and say "Take care" to her.

Sometimes she follows me to the door. Sometimes she steps out into the corridor. Rarely does she walk with me down the corridor to the clinic waiting room.

I don't know that I've really ever given this much thought, so this was interesting to me to spend some time thinking about.

During my sessions with T, I am very conscious of the time. Well, as much as I can be if I am present and not struggling with dissociating. My hour with my therapist (usually twice a week) is the only time I feel safe and secure; it is valuable to me. I do struggle when it is time to come to a close - especially if it is coming up on a weekend or before a week where I am only able to see her once. I watch the clock and, while it does take away from my ability to be fully present with her, I feel as though it's necessary as I need to prepare myself for when the session is over. I know she also keeps an eye on the time and that's okay with me - she does have a client that follows after me. If we are talking about something very emotional, she will try to help me wrap up, but she is not so strict with her time boundaries that we cannot go over by a couple of minutes if need be. And, since I am allowed contact outside of sessions, I know that I can reach out to her if I feel it necessary.

All that being said, I don't know that there is anything specific that my T does to close a session. Usually, it's just a natural end. She will check her phone to confirm our next session, give me back my bag (long story), put a transitional object in my bag (again, long story), and then send me on my way. She will often remind me to eat, drink, and sleep before I walk out the door and, more often than not, I offer a sarcastic comment as I walk down the hall toward the door. Sometimes we are a bit more sentimental, but the light-hearted banter helps me acclimate back to my outside life more easily. When I am dissociating, it is different, I'm sure. But, she usually tries to get me, at least, partially back before letting me walk out the door. I appreciate that our routine is laid back as I struggle enough ending the session - any more fanfare and I think I would have even more of a difficult time. It's what works for us right now and I suppose it is working considering I've never really thought about how we close before. If it ain't broke, don't fix it!

I always end the session. With T1 he used to let the sessions run over, sometimes by nearly an hour and when I started with T I told him straight that I wanted to keep to time boundaries. I always turn up exactly on time and leave exactly on time. Every session for nearly two years.
I need control over that to feel safe.

The T I saw for four sessions used to tell me when we had 10 mins left. By this point I had barely said a word and that cue was just a cue for me to clam up even more really. Then it was 5, then 2, then 1. I mean seriously, she was counting me out of the door.

I normally always end the session. On the very odd occasion I've list track. T does her little smile thing and sort moves her eyes toward the clock and says "we've finished for today".

My T will say something like "well, we've run out of time..." And then sort of summarise what we've discussed/share any insights she's had. T will then ask me if I have any thoughts to add (usually I don't because I need some time to process everything). Then T will ask me "same time next week?" To which I always reply yes. T will book that in and then open the door and walk me out to the waiting area to pay. I am T's last client of the evening which means the building is locked by the time we finish. Because of this, T has to walk me down stairs and unlock the front door for me. I really like that part because I get to spend a couple of extra minutes with T and it makes me feel a tiny bit special.

My T often ends by saying "We have to stop". Sometimes it takes me by surprise because I think we have a lot more time left. Other times it feels like we were out of time a while ago. Then we stand up and make or confirm our next appointment. She walks with me to the door and says "Take care". Sometimes she walks a little ways down the hall with me. Then I head to the receptionist to pay. I'm glad I pay a receptionist and not my T directly. That would feel too much like I'm paying her to talk to me. I know that's not the case, and that she really does care about me, but it would just make me feel bad.

Keeping precise and consistent time boundaries was one of the strengths of my first therapist. I really don't like to be late or too early to appointments so I would usually turn up 1-2 minutes before the scheduled start and we would always begin exactly on time. I often feel that the session time is short but I also like to be professional, get what I pay for and don't ask for extra. He had a clock in his office that both of us could see easily and we both kept track of the time. No need for warning that time is running out or that it is up. We both would just naturally put an end to the conversation without any particular winding down, I pull out and hand the check to him, he walks me to the door, I leave exactly on time.

Current T (who is generally a much better fit for me, but it has nothing to do with the time) is more loose about the time but nothing extreme. As far as I see he often runs back-to-back sessions but is respectful about trying his best not to have the patients wait. Now that I see him on the same day at the same time weekly (before it was always changing), I know that there is a patient before me who leaves just before I start. T usually calls me in immediately after she's gone and sometimes makes a quick bathroom trip before we begin. From my experience, he tends to go over time by 5-10 mins in most sessions when he can -- I never ask for this but don't refuse either as long as I am not in a rush. We actually discussed his handling of time and it seems like he deals with it in a quite subjective way, trying to gauge if the client might use a bit more time and give it to them when he can, but also he would deliberately encourage not stopping when he finds the discussion interesting for him. For example, I've noticed that I almost always get about 10 minutes more when we are discussing relationships -- I think he loves that topic. I don't always engage in this subject very long because relationships were not my primary goal with this therapy, but more recently I do more as I'm quite satisfied with the progress around the original goals and open to expand and introduce new areas that we both think might be interesting and useful for me. The clocks in his offices (he has two) are not very easy to see from the coach without physically turning over so I just let him deal with the time (but I usually have a decent sense of it myself). There isn't any winding down or warning with him either, typically he will say simply something like "it is time to stop for now" or "this is a good point to wrap up for today", or just signals it with body language. Then I quickly get the cash to him, we say a few lighter words to each-other, sometimes he stands up and walks me to the door other times not. His behavior is very natural regarding handling the time, not strict but no extremes and no mistakes either.

I would not like if my therapists were any looser and more inconsistent about the time than these two, especially regarding starting on time. I also would not like if they tried to apply some sort of complicated ending ritual with me.

I would like if the woman left her own office like that, but since it is her office, I doubt I could get her vanish out of it. I would like it if I left the woman's office like that too.

I would like to have the ability to do an I dream of Jeannie head bop that would suddenly place me in my car. I would not employ this very often, but I can think of a couple of times where I would have taken advantage.

my T emails me invoices and i collect them for a while, then fax them to my trust to mail him a check. (its a trust i have that my lawsuit settlement against my former T went into. its not a regular trust. they have to approve or deny my requests). my T is not very good at billing me. i have had to remind him sometimes, and he messes up the amounts a lot

that's hilarious

I'm really tempted to ask my T to do that - I think I'd like it , I do think he's a bit of a magician

Wow, I have a lot to say about this issue.

Former T would get a constricted, constipated look on her face a few minutes before the end -- even without it, the two clocks I could see + her cell would've gotten me out. I watched the clock like a hawk and got out a couple of minutes earlier -- after commenting many a time that it's "interesting" I watch the clock so much (and after we had a rupture around what I considered a total failure on her part), she took to asking if I'd like to stay till the end.

So, we'd spend the last couple of minutes in terribly awkward silence (with me at times nervously commenting on the awkwardness of it all while she just stared straight at me, unblinking) or she'd at times feel like she has to say something useful -- so, she'd rush like a super fast express train or something and we would both heave a sigh of relief on the dot and I'd make my exit.

A couple of sessions before I terminated with her, I really thought I should trust her and open up more emotionally -- her general complaint was that I never did -- and so I told her that I won't look at the clock and will let her end (or else, I won't let go).

She said it's a big step etc and offered to give me a 10 min warning before the end. As it turned out, the remaining couple of sessions were just awful and I couldn't have let go emotionally at any cost -- so, I was back to watching the clock and yeah, finally terminated.

Current T -- it's much more organic and chilled out. I can't see the clock unless I really twist around. I asked her about it earlier and she said it's her job to keep the time. We talked about it some and I told her how I'd look at the clock all the time with former T and how I knew it was my way of keeping my emotions in check. She asked about former T's response to it and I said she didn't do anything other than commenting that it's interesting.

Usually, with current T, my session is after hours when her building gets locked. So, when the next client comes in, she has to buzz them in -- that's my signal and I stop. She still always comes back, takes the time to talk to me and even sometimes asks me questions but I just give her short answers and stare at her in silence until she gives up and gets out her appointment book.

One time when she didn't have a client after me, we ran over by more than 20 mins and I didn't realize -- I was acutely embarrassed and apologized at the next session but she just brushed it away and said it's her responsibility. We hadn't even discussed anything seriously intense then -- so, I figure she's just chilled out about the time.

It's interesting though that in some ways, current T's system -- a loud door buzzer ringing -- would appear to be more intrusive but actually I have little or no anxiety about the clock or letting go. I kind of automatically trust her in those basic ways in a manner that I never could in the year plus that I was with former T.

Oh, and in all cases, I pay at the beginning because I'm not sure what state I'll be at the end and would I remember or not etc.

If I don't notice the time myself (I'm kinda trained to look up and end about five minutes before the hour,) she usually begins the winding down phase a few minutes before with some kind of statement like, "is there anything else you need right now?"

At closing time, she usually gets her appt. book out and confirm that we're on for next week— even though we have a set day now. That's the signal. But she's never had to interrupt me and at times when I realize how late it is, she always reassures me that 'it's okay'.

In short, I've never felt rushed to end anything. We have pretty good timing I guess.

I always felt this was something my T was pretty good at. He had a way of framing our sessions so they had a sort of clear beginning and end that seemed to work very comfortably. Generally 5 or 10 minutes before the end he had a way of steering the discussion to a sort of closure that helped me get in a decent place to leave.

My T says, "We have to stop" or "It's time to stop."

It usually doesn't bother me but we had a moment of weirdness last session when I asked for a hug so we stood up and hugged then because we were already stood up I forgot I hadn't paid and he was like "you forgot the money bit" then it kinda felt like I was paying him to hug me which felt a bit awkward. Usually it's part of the routine though and punctuates the session. Me getting my purse out is a signifier that I'm done.

Both my psychiatrist and therapist give a signal to begin wrapping up the session. They both do a quick summary of what we discussed and things to work on. In the case of my therapist we actually speculate about what to put on the following week's agenda (she makes copies of her notes for me too). She walks me to her assistant's office and communicates when she'd like to see me next and then walks me to the door of the clinic. In neither case is the closure of the session done abruptly.

As soon as t puts on her glasses I take out my purse. It's interesting how so many keep an eye on the time and know when your session is almost up. I never know because there are no visible clocks in my view, they are behind my head and sometimes I catch her checking. She isn't that discrete about it either.

My T doesn't do anything in particular. I'm usually keeping an eye on the time, so I tend to start thinking of wrapping things up on my own. It generally seems to happen pretty naturally, though. AT has a specific way of wrapping things up - she does feedback at the end of every session, so she checks the clock and does the wrap up. Sometimes it works out in a smooth way, but other times it's like, "oh, we're out of time - I need to do feedback." Last week it caused our session to end awkwardly because we were in the middle of a particular topic when she noticed the time.