Email from T made me happy!

I emailed T for a few reasons, none of them showing neediness. I knew it was an okay email; it was from my heart. Nevertheless I was surprised when she emailed back! I think we were both on the same wavelength at my session on Monday, and felt a close, mutual connection. This is part of what she wrote: "Your email warmed my heart. I've seen you grow and change a nd become more and more of who you are in our work together." Her response warmed MY heart. I will remember it for the rest of my life!

Thats great! Now you can keep that email and remember that feeling forever!

Yes, but it also reminds me that I can't put into words what my T means to me, what the relationship means. I have other people in my life but there's something so special about the T relationship for me. No one in real life would ever understand what I mean. Only here on this forum can I maybe be understood.

I feel like that in my own way, rainbow, that there's just something so special about my t relationship, of course I don't mean to say I understand what you mean but I do get that it's special. I struggle with that, how much she means to me, because of the whole professional part of it, but thankfully she has no problem talking about it when I need to. As often as I need to. (((rainbow)))

Thank you. I think you get it! What makes my T so different from the others I saw is that, like your T, she encourages me to talk about my feelings for her. I was always ashamed to admit to my other Ts the extent of my feelings for them. That caused more shame. The healing is coming from being free to love my T and to tell her how I feel, and having her accept my feelings. That is how we work on attachment. It's kind of incredible and beautiful!

You know I have also felt this way. I did not realize that so many others felt the same way, I thought there must be something wrong with me. My T will not address any thing that has to do with her. Sometime this make's me think that there must surely be something wrong with me. She is very sound about the lines of therapy, but I feel she is to stiff. But I cannot get myself to find another, already attached to her.

Remember this is her business don't make this out to be more than sucking you in for more paid $$ in her pocket) sessions.

You couldn't be more wrong! My T has let me pay a very reduced rate for about 2 years. She isn't in it for the money though of course it's her job. You can think what you want but I know the truth.

Everything I've read from you rainbow makes me believe very strongly that your t cares about you.

I know that she does!! No one can ever make me doubt it! I appreciate your validation though. It's nice of you.

Unless you know Rainbow's therapist personally and have inside knowledge about why she does the work she does, your statement is nothing more than a projection of your own cognitive distortions.

Cognitive distortions - now now... I think we can all objectively agree that they do do it for the money. That's how therapists make their living. If they provide good therapy, make the client feel safe, establish rapport and build some sort of relationship they'd get paid. Whether or not rainbow's therapist does it only for the money or not is irrelevant here. I wonder how would the relationship change if rainbow maybe asked more from the therapist or even try to transition into a friendship with them. I totally agree with dancinglady though. Maybe it's 'nothing more than' that triggered your response I don't know. Cognitive distortions no, fair assessment of reality - maybe.

Can we all agree on that, really? Well, thanks for telling me how I should think. Please accept my disagreement of your ideas and shove it somewhere you may find useful. If you find that harsh then maybe that's because it is. You haven't touched a nerve with the specifics of what you have said, but more so because I cannot abide people who fail to see that there are many reasons for many things. Open your eyes and take a look at the bigger picture. You may learn something.

Rainbow, I am sorry for my rant there but I really felt I needed to say something.

I hope you know that I think you do great work with your T and I am so pleased for you that you had that connection in that way specifically, given the work you have been doing in that area. It is so nice to have these moments to hold on to. That is awesome, just as both you and your T appear to be.

Ts do their job to get paid (and other reasons). But the money doesn't make them care about their clients (i.e. caring can't be bought). This goes back to a whole other debate (I don't remember what the thread was called). It's also the divide btwn those who hate Ts and those who still have fate in Ts.

Either way, that's not what this thread is about. So take the debate elsewhere.

I think power is more seductive than just money. Whether therapists care or not is completely irrelevant to me. If you believe the one you pay does care, then what some other person believes does not need to have any bearing on you.

Yes, that's not what this thread is about! I was trying to share something special and beautiful that happened between my T and me! Maybe some are jealous of that. There have been enough threads about T's not caring and ruining the client's life. If my thread continues to go there, I'll have it closed. Please start another thread for those discussions. Mine was about a positive interaction for a change!

I'm here for a discussion and moreover I don't want to tell you what to think. My argument is that I never came across a therapist in private practice that would give me free therapy. What I find harsh is that you use psychology jargon to criticize someone on a personal ground when they made a perfectly valid point. That aside I again invoke the question of power and being unequal in the relationship - what would happen if she needed a friendship from her therapist? I'm glad that you can disagree with me - that opens doors for discussion. You spouting trite and banal language at me doesn't.

OK everyone. Not to be the debate police but let's start a new thread if we are going to debate this since rainbow clearly doesn't want this here.

Rainbow I thought it was a lovely email and I think your relationship with your T has really blossomed in the past year or so

I am glad you were happy about the email but I don't understand why. Of course, I don't have to understand it, but I don't think it obvious to all why it would be a good thing to receive from a therapist.

I know you don't understand me, st. I don't understand you either but you do a better job of accepting our differences. I appreciate your continued support!

I didn't quote my email to T because it's personal. It showed my growth in a few areas relating to my relationship with her. It showed that I forgave her for her mistakes and that I am not jealous of her other clients. I asked her to forgive me for the times I was extremely mean in my comments to her.

She complimented me on how I've grown and changed, which made me happy. She thanked me for the gifts I gave her. It was an email interaction based on love, each in our own way. I broke my email rule because it's not a rule cut in stone. T emailed back because she's a person first. I am happy she understood my intent.

Does my explanation make any sense to you? It's okay if not.

I forgot to say my T was also happy about my NOT missing her while she was out of the country! So was I!

I want to answer your question about friendship. I've wanted a friendship with each of my Ts. I've wanted a lot more too but that's due to my attachment issues. The point is I KNOW that T and I can never be friends. She's made that clear from Day 1. It's taking me many years to be able to accept that Ts are not the answer to my unmet needs. That's what she and I are celebrating. We can be close but it doesn't mean she's my friend, my mother, my partner or anything else but my T!

i had a similar interaction. i texted my T about being able to work 30 hrs a week and how a year ago i thought that would be impossible. he said yay! look at you! im so proud

it made me feel really good, so i can understand why your Ts email made you feel good. sometimes all we need is a little encouragement and praise

Ditto!!😊😊😊