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#1
Oct 19, 2016, 08:12 AM
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I am having difficulty sleeping tonight, thinking about Pdoc and T leaving. Ex-T pops in my head, so I decided to look her up on FB. She had another baby. Looks to be a boy.
It's not fair! If ex-T and Pdoc didn't force me to go to county, I might be a mom by now. I was healthy enough to try, but they told me to wait and go through DBT first. Then ex-T abandoned me while at county. I lost everything. My health deteriorated to where I'm no longer healthy enough to get pregnant. I'm also upset because clearly she has moved on. Her life is getting better while my life is getting worse. I lost interest in my hobbies and goals when ex-T left, and am still struggling with it. My health is almost as bad as it was 3 years ago (when I saw a doctor for the first time in 6 years). And now I'm losing my T and Pdoc! I'm besides myself. I can't take it anymore. Life is not worth this much pain!
__________________
"Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
 Anonymous37917, atisketatasket, Cinnamon_Stick, Ellahmae, growlycat, LonesomeTonight, meganmf15, mostlylurking, Myrto, Out There, precaryous, rainbow8, Sarmas, taylor43, therapyishelping777
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#2
Oct 19, 2016, 06:56 PM
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Scarlet
 that sounds like torture to see your t moving on and having what you want. In my experience when I can't sleep and I think googling my ex or ex t this is when I am most self destructive and can literally destroy myself if I see one picture. I have learned to resist those urges to self harm and to be kinder to myself by not comparing my life to theirs. Yes, life can be very painful but it doesn't have to be if we make it a little easier on ourselves by not torturing us at our most vulnerable. How are you doing today?
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 Out There, rainbow8, ScarletPimpernel, t0rtureds0ul
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#3
Oct 19, 2016, 08:42 PM
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The best thing you can do for yourself is live a good life worth living. That is the way you get to say hey T you abandoned me but you didn't destroy me. I struggle with living a meaningful life also.
I am sorry you got triggered. It has happened to me before also. |
| ScarletPimpernel
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#4
Oct 20, 2016, 05:05 AM
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Quote:
__________________
"Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
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#5
Oct 20, 2016, 05:10 AM
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Quote:
__________________
"Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
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#6
Oct 20, 2016, 05:11 AM
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I'm really sorry. I know the feeling too well of looking up a therapist online. And then you see pictures you didn't want to see and it hurts like hell. Hugs.
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| ScarletPimpernel
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#7
Oct 20, 2016, 02:50 PM
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I looked up my most harmful therapist last week for the first time in 8 years. Bad idea. It left me feeling violated and hurt and angry and I don't know what else. I'm going to resist.
As far as a life worth living - let's go back to DBT because I LOVE DBT. How do we get a life worth living? In the old manual (or whatever it is I have), it was handout 17. We get a life worth living by living according to our values. figure out what your life values and priorities are identify those that need work identify goals choose one goal to work on now list small action steps take the first step That's how we accumulate positive emotions long term. What are your values? What do you believe is important in life?
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Dx: Bipolar II, ultra rapid cycling but meds help with the severity of cycling. Rx: lamictal, seroquel, lithium |
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