How do you begin your sessions/ great and get going?

If the door is open, my dog races in and makes a beeline straight for my therapist. I think I love those times the most because my therapist is sitting at her desk, working, and I can hear her happiness over seeing him. It's a comforting scene to walk in on. I like it that she has someone pleasant to say hello to, because I usually walk in like a storm cloud. Other times, if the door is closed, my dog sits and whimpers until she opens it. While she takes him to get a treat, I unpack my stuff and sit down. Unless I'm in a really bad place, I just start talking. If I'm in a bad place, she talks and I either come around or leave. If I leave early like that, she says she'll be at the computer for the rest of my session if I want to come back, and then leaves the door open. I have only gone back once. Usually, I don't go back, but the one time I did, it felt reassuring to have the door open, with her sitting at her desk working.

I have a lot of door issues. They are a trigger for me. I don't know if she keeps it open because of that, or just as a signal that I'm welcome there. I can't put words to it, but it's a nice feeling.

T answers the door, she always looks through the glass at me and smiles. She doesn't try and tune in like most therapists do, she avoids small chat. So we walk into her therapy room. T will wait for me to look at her and then she will say when you are ready Mona take a moment to see what bat will help you this week. We both close our eyes for a moment and then come back into the room

With former T1, he'd come out to the waiting room, I'd get up and walk to his office together. It was only a few doors down, so usually he'd only say Hey or how are you while we're in the office. Once we're in, I sat down then he. He'd ask how I've been doing, and where I'd like to start. Then we'd go from there. I'm guessing this will be similar with new T1.

I wait in a little waiting room just outside T's door, always in the same chair, for him and his previous clients to come out. If the white noise machines seem quieter than usual I turn them to the louder setting. I usually look at my phone while his earlier clients are leaving because I feel like it gives them more privacy, like I'm not really noticing them. T and I then say hi and I go into his office and sometimes he closes the door and sits down, sometimes he goes to use the restroom (or, I suspect, write a quick text or email, as he does not look at his phone during session). I straighten the couch pillows and sort of tidy up before sitting in my usual place, and I like when he goes out and I have a couple of minutes to settle down in my spot on the couch. I'm glad the weather is colder because now I'm wearing socks and can take off my shoes and put my feet on the couch, which I didn't like to do in summer with bare feet. I often have a travel mug or water bottle (both are metal) which I put on the floor because the coffee table is glass and I have visions of somehow accidentally smashing the glass into bits. Once he's in his chair, I start right in, no small talk, because I've usually been thinking for days about what I want to bring up or say. On rare occasions I have trouble starting and will begin by saying I'm anxious or that I have to talk about something I don't want to talk about, but it usually only takes a minute to begin. It's funny how the physical space has come to mean a lot to me, I can't imagine doing a session by phone. I think just being in that room is therapeutic somehow. During a bad time recently I wondered if I could pay him to just lay on his couch while he sat there quietly for the whole session (I didn't actually mention this idea...).

I have also imagined with other therapists just lying in the couch the whole session without having to talk.

T works from home. I ring her bell on time (or more often than not slightly late!) and she opens the door and usually opens her arms wide for a hug. She gives me a big hug, then gestures towards her office, closes the front door, asks me if I would like a cup of tea and goes off to make it. Then she comes back, asks how my journey was (I live 90 minutes away), gives me my tea and sits down and then asks how I am and what I would like to work on. If I have emailed her upfront, she will have my email printed out with notes on it that she would like to ask me about. She will ask if it's helpful to go through it or whether there is something else I would rather focus on.

There's no waiting room so I always arrive just on time. His office door is almost always open and he hears me coming anyway so he will either greet me by opening the door fully or by standing up as I come in. He usually asks me how I'm doing, and then we just start as I settle into my seat. If I ever don't know how to begin he usually waits quietly (in what I regard as a companionable silence) until something emerges from my brain. If I have emailed him he will often note that he has read my email and give me his impression of how I sounded when I wrote it.

I'm finding this thread quite interesting so I will post my scenario. First, I identify with those who need the bathroom both before and after my session. And sometimes I have to leave in the middle.

I try to get there about 10 minutes early. After the bathroom I sit in the waiting room. Rarely is anyone there even though here are 2 or 3 other Ts in the same suite who share the waiting room. I write my check and wait for T to come out of her office or walk in the door. Usually she has someone before me.

Sometimes she says to go in and she'll be right back, and in winter she will ask if I want hot water for tea.

I close the door myself if she's already sitting in her chair. I give her the check and sit on the couch. Often I move some of the extra pillows away from me. I put my water bottle on the little table next to me.

T smiles and says hi, always looking glad to see me. If I'm there alone first, I look around the room but there's so much to look at, including books, that I never see everything!

For the poster who asked about meditation, my T often has me do something like that. We used to do breathing together but that was in my first year or two with her. Now she asks me to look around the room, then close my eyes and go inside. She asks me where is a good place to start.

When I open my eyes, or maybe if we don't do that, T asks me if her chair is too close or too far from me. I'm never sure, so she moves it around so I can see where it feels right.

Often I tell her I feel anxious and nervous to be there (even after 6 years) so she asks if I can feel my legs on the floor, my body on the couch, and has me breathe with my eyes closed. I'm usually calmer by then.

T never tells me what to talk about. She leaves it up to me. Even when I used to email her often, she never brought up anything from them. She is more interested in my feelings in the present moment, even when it's about the past. Sometimes I have something to show her, but usually I talk about whatever has been on my mind lately.

I, too find this thread interesting because the beginning of the session is something I have struggled with (and still do sometimes).

My T shares her practice with a T who specializes in children and teens so quite often there's a kid with or without a parent in the waiting room. I arrive a few minutes early and then distract myself with my phone until my T comes out of the therapy room (she usually has a client before me). On the way to her office she crosses the waiting room, smiles and says hello to me. Sometimes she'll let me know I can already go in and that she'll be with me in a minute or two - sometimes she doesn't. If I wait for her in the waiting room she'll come out of her office, we shake hands and while she locks her office door I make my way into the therapy room and sit down in "my chair". Then my T enters, closes the window, sits down, looks at me and says "welcome".

That's when it gets difficult for me. She would like me to completely direct the session, but I never know how/where to start. So most often these days she asks me how I felt after the last session (especially if it was an emotional one) or how I have been that week. I answer and sometimes that will be our starting point for the session. Other times she will ask me: So what's important today? and we'll go from there...

My t's office is in her home, so I sit in my car until she opens the office door, then I get out of my car and we greet each other as I walk up and go in, I kick off my flip flops immediately and then go sit on the couch and put my notebook on the table. Generally speaking we look at each other and smile right after we sit down. Usually she waits for me to start, but sometimes she'll ask me about something from the previous session, or she'll ask me how I am. Or she'll say "before we begin, x" (which is usually that she'll be out of town and needs to change a session). Mostly though she waits for me and sometimes I'll just sigh and say I don't know where to start, or I say I want to do a sand tray, or I say I have a couple dreams, or I ask a question, whatever. Yesterday she didn't wait for me to start she just said "Since we're doing only 30 minutes today let's just jump right in" and so I did.

For me it has become less awkward and I have got more comfortable with the initial silence, over time. My T doesn't stare at me either, which helps. I think he looks at me from time to time but he also looks away (I'm not exactly staring him in the face while I'm thinking so I'm not always aware of where he is looking).
But no, you are definitely not alone in feeling awkward.

I usually go in ~15 minutes early, check in with the receptionist, pay my co-pay, hope we don't have to do the "Hey, Fellow Receptionist, is The Counselor even in today?/ This Chick doesn't have an appointment" dance (he is, I do). As the receptionists try (and fail) to get my T to answer the phone, I think that it's rude to keep my sunglasses on, but I keep them on anyway.

Eventually they decide I may go to the waiting area, so I stand, and, speaking over the stomach-churning vertigo, say something like "I'M GREAT, THANKS. SPLENDOROUS HELP YOU OFFERED. GOODBYE!"

Then I seesaw to the waiting area, try not to sit near anybody in active withdrawal, and wonder why I suddenly need to pee despite having gone less than 20 minutes ago, refuse to pee, and look at the signs encouraging me to eat vegetables and do something with my life. I check my watch.

10-15 minutes beyond the appointment start time, my T emerges from some hidden hallway. If I see him, I walk up. If I'm too busy thinking about all the vegetables I don't eat, I don't. He calls my name. I start. He cringes. The heroin addicts stare.

I stand; attempt to walk.Why is the clinic floor teetering like a ship deck? Stay focused, Argo. Don't puke on the floor. Why does T have to open the door like that? Attempt to smile politely; fail spectacularly and grimace, instead.

God, stop clutching your purse to your chest like a crazy person.

T: "Nice day, outside?"

Me: "IT'S SPLENDIFEROUS, THANKS!"

T apologizes, for the 60th time, that he doesn't have an office. It's because...

But you never have caught the explanation; he sounds like those adults in the Peanuts comic. Good grief.

Find an empty office. Please, God, let it be an office and not an exam room. Sit. Leave the door open. Small talk, depression screening test. T notices there's a sweaty piece of paper clutched in your fist. Oh yeah, you prepared for this. Un-crumple piece of paper, use contents to get started.

The one I see gets very fidgety during silences and drums her fingers, shifts around a lot and seems generally uncomfortable with waiting. Sometimes I just wait until she finally is still.
A bit like training a dog.

That would annoy the ever living eff you see kay out of me.

T's office is in a shared office space in a house-type building.

I usually get there up to a half hour early and wait in my car or outside on the bench because I don't want to fight rush hour traffic. I've taken to waiting outside because I've come to find the fresh air much more preferable to the waiting room and those old, kind dingy chairs. Sometimes there are several other people in the waiting room for other therapists in that office and sometimes there is no one.

I almost always see the same clients leave before me- a Mom and her young son. I sometimes overhear a bit of chatter about their session as they leave and have come to feel a bit of affection for the boy. I can't but wonder what their challenges are. It tugs on my own Mom/transference issues to imagine how my T might be helping this young person.

Right before my time, I go inside and wait and my T usually gets me just after the hour. After the perfunctory hallway greeting of "How are you?", she lets me walk in ahead of her. I sit down on the couch and she sits in her chair next to the desk, not quite across from me, smiles and waits for me to talk.

At that point, I have to figure out how to start the conversation, which after all this time is still awkward for me to do not matter how much I have on my plate.

I sit in the waiting room (pretending not to wait, all busy on my phone and such) and wait for him to appear.

He does so shortly, makes eye contact, smiles and nods.


I stand up, we say good morning, I follow him down the long corridor, whereby I usually make a nervous quip about being lead to the gallows, or some such nonsense.


He turns around the "session in progress" sign, open the door for me, and I enter first.


I remove the black and gold pillow and place it on my lap, always the same pillow.


Then he asks "So Ophelia, how are you today? / where do we find you today?"


I usually laugh uncomfortably before diving right in.


After session, he confirms "Same time same place?" And then he smiles and says "See you in 15 minutes" (for DBT)

Wow. Mine is the complete opposite. I feel the need to fill the void because she will just wait, in silence, smiling until I speak. I guess I never realized how that's a good thing but yeah.

I sit in the waiting room to wait for T to come get me. She greets me and I follow her back to her office. She then usually asks if there's been any changes in meds or symptoms and asks me to rate my depression and anxiety. I think it is a good way to start because then she asks me about what's been going on lately.