[stopdog]

do you think the therapist misses you if you miss appointments?

I have never thought about it I assume they have something else they can occupy the time with, possibly paperwork.

I never really thought about it. I assume he filled my spot if there was time to schedule someone in or used that time to do something else or leave work early, so I doubt he'd have time to think about it. I don't pine away for him, so I doubt he pines away for me. (Hmm. Probably should have checked more boxes. I only checked "I never thought about it" and "If so, he should see his own therapist" boxes).

[therapyishelping777]

I've not missed one appt with my T since I started with him, and he went on vacation one week.. I'm sure he didn't miss me because it was vacation and he is super dedicated when he is here for his patients so I hope he is not thinking of us ! If I missed because I was sick or something , I don't think he would miss me really.

I think they might worry as to why you are missing the appointment. My t would not miss me but she would worry

[unaluna]

In a way. I went to once a week sessions for a while this summer while i was hot and busy and overwhelmed. It changed the mood of our sessions, not necessarily to the bad, but not really for the better.

Eta - everything in therapy is us, not just him or me separately. Its a project worked on together.

[growlycat]

I think it is like the rest of us- we may miss the other person but maybe a little bit happy to have some time back

[mostlylurking]

I think there might be times -- when the work has been meaningful or we've enjoyed some entertaining conversation recently -- when he'd think "Oh, well that's too bad," for a minute. Otherwise not really, because I'll be there next week. Never thought about this before, because I've only ever missed one appointment and it was well over a year ago.

But I do think T's suffer a loss sometimes when a client stops seeing them, particularly if the client leaves precipitously. It's still a relationship, and they know a lot about us and our lives, and must sometimes miss knowing how things are going.

[LucyG]

I think most therapists view their clients as clients, not personal friends they miss, or want to catch up with. What they miss is the fee IMHO.

Assuming the client has expressed a desire to harm themselves or whatever, I can see them contacting the police if a client misses an appointment to make sure they're okay. But wanting to talk like girlfriends is very, very rare. And that type of relationship with a therapist is unwise for several reason. You need someone who isn't emotionally involved with the client, and can see the situation objectively.

[ruh roh]

No, I don't. Even though I haven't missed an appointment, I'm guessing she would somehow soldier on without missing a beat (or me).

[1stepatatime]

Funny enough I just posted something about my therapist not responding when I asked her in an email if she will miss me ( having surgery on Friday). Of course she responded with all this psycho babble which made no sense to me! Now that I've had some time to process it all I would have to say probably not, in fact she might welcome the break and I welcome it too.. much needed.

[msrobot]

No, only misses the fee.

[Pennster]

I feel like my therapist would probably miss me a bit, insofar as I have been part of his weekly routine for years. I don't think this would have a huge emotional impact on him or anything, but sure, I think it's not inconceivable to believe that a therapist might have small feelings of slightly missing someone when a part of a weekly routine is absent.

[junkDNA]

He's told me he misses me but that's in response to me saying I miss you or i will miss you. I dunno if he actually means it

[atisketatasket]

How would I know? Even if they claim something, you can't know if they mean it.

[Argonautomobile]

I think Pennster's right--it's not inconceivable that a therapist might miss someone a little if they're suddenly absent from a weekly routine. I don't think my T would miss me if I cancelled an appointment now or stopped coming altogether, but I think it's possible he thought about me the first week I was absent from my usual time because we'd moved from weekly to monthly sessions.

[Wonderfalls]

Other: "I don't really know, but I do hope so".

[Sarmas]

I think it depends on the client. I don't think my T missed me at all. I remember once not being sure if I was going to go or not and she said to let her know swap so that she can give that spot to someone else. I know it's a business and that its loss of a session if she doesn't fill that spot. She could also move around people and leave earlier. I totally get that but it didn't feel as great. Whenever I got an answer like that then i would just tell her to give my appointment away then. It was a cold response to me. Im more than sure that she didn't even think about me. She has a family and other clients. I've never been on her priority list. There was a time in my first few sessions that she would ask me my availability before others and that changed as well. She changed my appointment and then said that she didn't and that she double booked me. I got tired of it and told her to give away all of the appointment s that she had that week to people she felt that needed it the most. I guess my answer would be no. She lost interest.

[runlola72]

My T flat out told me he only thinks of me when it's Wednesday and he's reviewing patients he's due to see that day. Talk about serious ouch. It actually devastated me

I think he would miss the appointment at appointment time. I know he enjoys working with me. I don't think he would be all pining for me or anything. If he was I would pick the last option.
T1 clearly misses me and it makes me very uncomfortable.

[stopdog]

I never really thought about it. I don't miss her and can't imagine that she would miss me. I assume she does not know if I am even scheduled to come or even what my name is out of context or until she checks the appointment list. I also think the ones I see simply plug someone else in the slot and go on with their lives.
I did mean if one cancelled ahead of time-not just one failed to appear without cancelling appointments.

[passionfruit3]

I think I would ask not does your therapist miss you but does he think about u when your gone

I said "other". I don't know, I did wonder about it before because my former therapist had a tendency not to remember my in-advance cancellations and call me on the phone during the time of the appointment, asking where I was. It became quite annoying. Don't know about current T. What I do know is that he enjoys working with me (this he said multiple times in different ways and it is also obvious) and this is more meaningful for me than what he thinks (or does not think) when I am not around. I will have a 3-week break now and he mentioned that he did not schedule anyone else for my time slots but will rather just sleep late. I think he would probably miss me a little if we terminated but skipping an appointment or a few, not sure.

[Waterbear]

Last session I told my T I will miss her when she is away. I honestly wasn't looking for anything back, just for me to say those words was a lot for me. She said that she wouldn't forget me, and asked if I liked the moon. I said I did and so she went on to say that when she looked at the moon she would think of me, probably more than that, and I could do the same. I don't think she would miss me, per say, and I am OK with that, I too would rather she thought of me. I am not sure why at the moment, but there it is.

[Myrto]

No she doesn't miss me. She's told me so herself. Besides why would she miss me? She has her life, I'm not as important to her as she is to me.