do you think the therapist misses you if you miss appointments?

I have cancelled a few sessions when I had to be out of town for work or a holiday, but I've never missed a session without cancelling well in advance. I don't think he misses me, in fact I don't understand how that would work. I pay a (low) cancellation fee but no fee for my appointments, so that does not enter into the equation.

Me too, except I don't pay a cancellation fee. I have on occasion missed my T in the sense that when I return, I have felt glad to be back in the office.

But usually I don't miss people in general and don't think others miss me, unless it's been a really long time since we've seen each other. I haven't seen my mother in 18 months and I love her, it's been about a year longer than average, but I don't really miss her because she's not a presence in my daily life. Sometimes my children go on sleepovers or visit relatives without me, and I don't necessarily miss them because I fill my day or life with other activities. Sometimes I feel a longing to be with them, but I never have trouble finding people and things to do.

My T has a full life and I also can't see how it would work for her to miss me. Even if my session weren't filled, I think she would enjoy the hour to do something for herself or her family. She is always glad to see me when I return.

I don't know of I would call it missing me bit I know she thinks about me. Recently I was extremely sick so I had to cancel which I have bever done in all the time we have worked together. She emailed me a couple of days later to see how I was. A couple of times I missed appointments do to family events. Typically she will email me to have fun with my family.

I so know she misses sine clients she has work with fire lonf periods of time ..but a session I doubt.

the only time my therapist would miss me is when I would not show up or call at the last minute to cancel and that was more like where is she. She has said she missed me when she goes on vacation but when missing appointments no she just would fill my spot with someone else.

I haven't really thought about it one way or the other. My T is busy and I'm sure he'll find something to do, but he's eager to hear about what happened while I was gone. Mostly it's been because I'm sick, so there isn't much to talk about on that front.

Well, I miss my T a lot when he is gone, but that's different.

It sounds like you and your T have a healthy relationship. It must be absolutely amazing to have people being glad to see you when you've been away - I am delighted to hear that you get that!

Well I do miss my students (not all of them) after they graduate or if they move away ( I spend anywhere between 4 to 6 years with them and am very involved). But it never occurred to me that I would miss them if they stay home sick for a day. I also don't miss them when I stay home sick myself. It would be a bit much. I really don't see why my t would miss me if I miss an appointment. Seems strange to me. Maybe if I was their only client or they had no life outside of work. Don't know.

My absence resulting in anything less than a banshee's wail and the rending of clothes in sheer grief (for a bit of cross-cultural emphasis) is impossible to imagine.

On a slightly more serious note -- I don't know about being missed if I skipped appointments but former T repeatedly told me that she'd miss me if I terminated. It was completely unasked-for -- the question hadn't ever occurred to me and so, it was super weird when she'd phrase it like it was something I was asking (E.g. "Did you think I wasn't going to miss you?"; "Clients usually are wondering whether the therapist misses them (at x,y, z juncture); etc" Uhh, no?).

Because, even when I do wonder if someone will miss me (with other people) I find it utterly pointless to actually ask them because I figure that if I didn't already 'know' (feel it), the real answer is a 'No'. Given her general demeanor towards me then, I wouldn't have put 'miss' and 'me' in the same sentence.

So, all it made me wonder was if there was some parallel radio station playing in the room that former T was tuned in to and which I couldn't hear.

I think it depends on the t but I don't think my current t would miss me. In fact I don't feel she likes me very much but I won't get into that here.

I have T2, who is my lifecoach i have sessions with... once in a while,, its been a while since I had one since he moved and had to get situated with his fam. well. I did write him and said I missed our sessions.. he wrote me back and said" he missed our sessions too" that was really nice to hear.. and he is very genuine and authentic, I've always felt that.. I really miss my sessions with him, its a different dynamic than with my T , even though I love my T too!!!

I've only missed one appointment and it was because I was in the hospital. I forgot about our appt T. texted me to ask/remind me of the appt. I didn't even see it until three next day. I apologized and explained, she wished me well and that was it.

There was one other moment we had after a break when she said, "It feels like I haven't seen you in a while!" Which made me feel like she did notice the time apart.

Otherwise, I have no idea is shed thinks of me ov this days were slip sessions. I would assume not because she's the ones who has an event or something going on that she needs too miss a session for.

No, I don't think any of the therapists I've seen would've missed me if I couldn't attend. I'm just part of their job as far as they're concerned and it makes it difficult to believe anything they tell you that refers to the therapy relationship. When I finished with my last Ts they said they truly wish me all the best. Yeah right. They couldn't give a damn about me. I'd sooner they drop the pretense and stick to the reality that it's a paid, contrived, artificial relationship on their part. They are doing nothing less than tricking clients to invest in the relationship to eventually be shunned and let down - all in the name of "therapy"!

I doubt she misses me. I'm sure she's partially annoyed and partially curious/maybe worried about why I miss.

As attached as I get to my (good) Ts and how much I miss them, I would not want them to miss me. That's just super weird. I think they can care about me and my well-being, but they really shouldn't be involved enough to "miss" me.

Well, this was a tough one for me; I had to think long and hard about what was most likely true. I answered, no. I've been feeling seriously self destructive lately, so perhaps T would be concerned about the missed appt. now, but generally speaking, no I don't believe T would miss me (I've never missed an appt., so I can't ask if I was missed).

And, BTW, yes, T uses macros to reply to messages from at least some clients. I still don't know why it bothers me that T doesn't personally type the response as opposed to getting a pre-typed reply; I'm still working on that question... I'll PM you if I figure it out.

They miss the money that would have made not the patient. Remember this is their business and likelihood. Nothing personal.

He has said he does, and I really want to believe it

This thread is so interesting to me - I really enjoy reading about everyone's diversity of experience in this.

I could never imagine my therapist only caring about the money he makes off me, for example. He's kind of a sap. And while it is his business and livelihood, the way he works very much involves him as a person. It's one of the things that works very well for me.

But it's really clear that the way my therapist works wouldn't work for a lot of people, and vice versa!

I put other because I'm not sure if he misses me as such, but might've had some mild curiousity as to what new drama has popped up in my life.

I don't think so. Why would he? My scintillating conversational skills?

Earlier in this thread, I wrote no. And then it ended up happening that my therapist said this very thing when I cancelled the other day. I don't care if it's not the same kind of missing that takes place in real life, it was still nice to hear/read.

My therapist misses me if I miss sessions. He tells me so at the beginning of our next session when we do our little greeting ritual and share our feelings about one another. Therapy is all about the relationship. I miss him. He misses me. We are people having a human connection on the planet. Our feelings are always linked.

I don't do the sort of therapy that is as being all about the relationship. I am not having a human connection with the woman either.
Interesting how everyone does it.