Your therapist's most-commonly-used adjective to describe you is...

Infectious

I don't recall that my T has referred to me in any particular words, other than to say I always need to be learning new things and I'm not happy when I'm not challenged. Both are true.

Long term t has said brave, resilient
Sparky would say anxious
Kashi has said anxious too but also intelligent and delightfully quirky

Weird goes by many names

Wow. Ya'll got some demonstrative T's. Mine told me once that I wasn't a bad person. That's it.

Interesting how many have said intelligent. Do you think that is a common factor in therapy clients or of people on this forum?

I think it is relevant to what many of us do in therapy: all the analytical explorations and instrospection. The general vibe of this forum is also above average in that domain so that might be part of it.

Or maybe it's just Ts' favorite appropriate compliment that does not cross the rules of ethics. I mean, apparently they are not supposed to comment on some more personal attributes?

This is sort of why I asked...how varied is their vocabulary?

I mean, it's not like they could tell a client they are well-endowed.

"My, what big teeth you have!"

My T never says anything nice and it really bothers me. We had a big rupture about this at the beginning of the year. I told her that she never says anything nice and she says that she does and I told her to point it out when she says something nice and to date, she has not pointed out anything, nor has she said anything nice. She IS nice and seems to really care about me in session, and once, said, "You don't think I like you??" in disbelief....that's the closest that she's ever come to saying anything nice.

My therapist tells me I am kind, wise, flexible and resilient - but it's no coincidence that these are precisely the qualities that his mode of working attempts to develop as a way of strengthening a client's ability to deal with life, so he's going to be on the lookout for these in all of his clients. I suspect most of his clients are some combination of kind, wise, flexible and resilient.

My T says I'm a great baker, artist, and writer. She's told me I'm smart too. Mostly, she compliments me on how I've grown and changed lately.

Intelligent, courageous, stronger than I think, curious.

Ridiculously hard on myself.

Frustrating. How encouraging, eh?

Neither - I think it is an empty term in the hands of a therapist. I think they use it very generally and virtually meaninglessly. Unless paying a therapist makes us all part of lake woebegone - where all of the clients are strong, all the clients are good-looking, and all the clients are above average.

My former T did not really describe me that often. Neither does my new T, although she has called me smart and a bit of a smart ***

I kind of feel I would like to hear frustrating or smart-a@@ more often. Because that comes across as more genuine somehow.

Hey - my nickname is in smart-a@@!

I do feel like a lake woebegone child when they say these things!! It can be hard to swallow. I appreciate the chuckle stopdog! Someone has to be realistic around here.

"You are intelligent enough to have chosen me to pay". Many layers. Works all around etc.

As of late she says I'm cute, she has told me that I'm brave on several occasions

Ha! That is funny--

I do think the type of feedback they use (if any) is often deliberate and for a specific purpose according to their orientation. Like the way my therapist works is to highlight positive aspects of the way I'm handling things, so he's often going to draw those out. But I had a previous therapist who would never have done such a thing, because his orientation was much more hands-off and viewed it as important for a therapist not to judge things in either positive or negative ways.

Lately I've heard "challenging" (as in my illness is unusual and difficult to treat) and "enjoyable to talk to."

Interesting question.

She has only described me once, and that was to help me come up with a list of positives. She said I was friendly.

My t always says how very attractive I am and that I have a youthful energy about me, whatever the heck that means. I think it's her way of saying I am childish in a passive aggressive way!

That reminds me when I first saw Kashi in person for the first time he said I was a youthful forty four. I joked that must mean an immature 44. He corrected me of course.

My bad, I always think my t means it is immature but Kashi is only a new t so I would trust his judgement as a lovely compliment