[MickeyCheeky]

I've been with this new therapist for a few sessions, now.. around 5 or so.. so basically a month.
She's a really good therapist. She listens to me, she cares about my situation, she lets me talk, she's very professional. I have no trust issues with her and I feel confident with telling her almost everything.
I have no problems with her, except..

Is she helping me or not?
I mean.. in these few sessions I've gainer pretty much nothing and I've felt a bit like just wasting my time... I didn't feel worse, but I can't really say I feel better either
I know 5/6 sessions is too little of a number, but.. I don't know. I'm confused. I'm not sure how a "good" therapy session should play out, so I'm very confused..

What do you guys think? I've thought about telling this to her, but I don't want to sound rude, or mean.. and I think it's too soon, anyway. :/

[therapyishelping777]

It sounds like you have a really good attitude about this whole thing.. I don't know for me, I spent far too long with therapists who didn't actually help me, they were nice, they listened , nodded, empathized, but never really taught me , challenged me, showed me any new ways of looking at things or coping.. I stayed the same for years.. Just started with my current T 9 months ago and WOAH.... what a difference.. I knew pretty much the first few sessions this was diffferent.. I had to get used to him/personality/style but .. he taught me things I used all the time, right away, and it calmed my anxieties and helped my relationships and got to the core root issues . He saw things that no one else did and helped me in ways that are truly amazing.. I think that you really CAN know someone will help you in a few sessions .. but you don't really know until you KNOW/experience..

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm glad your therapy is doing great

Well.. I can't really say she challenged me, or explored new ways of thinking with me.. I don't know

[therapyishelping777]

I would definately talk to her about it and tell her exactly what you are looking for and what you feel you are missing.. if she is good she will step up her game..

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm not sure about this.. I'm afraid to sound harsh :/

[Ididitmyway]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

I'm not sure about this.. I'm afraid to sound harsh :/

I've had the same feeling with many therapists during my therapist search. I'd leave and move on after the first session if I didn't get any valuable insight or useful information from them from the get go. I never gave any of them 5 or 6 sessions to come up with something. I value my time and money too much to waste it. It's nothing personal. Most of them were good people and well-meaning professionals but it's not enough to make me stay. I am sorry, but service is service, if I don't get what I need I am out. They shouldn't take it personally and if they do it's their problem.

So, yeah, the "good therapy" for me means I get important insight about myself and my situation which gives me a new perspective and allows me to come up with solutions.

[MickeyCheeky]

I see what you mean.. still, I prefer to give more than just one session (first impressions aren't always true). And besides, I can't change that easily - I'm 18 and my parents pay for me :/

[Ididitmyway]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

I see what you mean.. still, I prefer to give more than just one session (first impressions aren't always true). And besides, I can't change that easily - I'm 18 and my parents pay for me :/

I understand. I wasn't giving you an advice, I just told you what I do with this type of situations. What you decide to do is none of my business.

[therapyishelping777]

From what you say, it doestn't really sound like you could come off offensive in any way if you just put it out there in a nice way. what you wanted.. and maybe say , just an idea " hey i'm tryng this therapy out, I really want it to work for I really apprecicte. _____ about you , I'm really looking for ______ do you think you can help me more here? You seem really sweet spirited Mickey.

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

I've been with this new therapist for a few sessions, now.. around 5 or so.. so basically a month.
She's a really good therapist. She listens to me, she cares about my situation, she lets me talk, she's very professional. I have no trust issues with her and I feel confident with telling her almost everything.
I have no problems with her, except..

Is she helping me or not?
I mean.. in these few sessions I've gainer pretty much nothing and I've felt a bit like just wasting my time... I didn't feel worse, but I can't really say I feel better either
I know 5/6 sessions is too little of a number, but.. I don't know. I'm confused. I'm not sure how a "good" therapy session should play out, so I'm very confused..

What do you guys think? I've thought about telling this to her, but I don't want to sound rude, or mean.. and I think it's too soon, anyway. :/

Way to early.

[MickeyCheeky]

Thank you all
Well.. I guess I could try a few more sessions... and if it still doesn't work, I'll probably just tell her about this, and see from there...
I still have to think about it, though.

Thinking is what therapys about

I felt that t and i clicked from the first phone call, even with that i thought she was a lil kooky at my 1st session and it took time for the therapeutic relationship to take root or whatever and i will say i am glad i was patient, since it's been within the relationship that my healing has happened. Just my experience. Go with your gut.

[growlycat]

I don't know- 5 or six sessions seems like a good amount of time to evaluate a t. Are you looking for a more directive therapist? It's completely ok to say so or keep searching for another t.

[Cyllya]

What's your goal in therapy?

You might ask her what your treatment plan is, if you haven't already gotten that information.

[MBM17]

With my really good therapists, I've known within three sessions, but it took me multiple therapists to be able to recognize that feeling.

Like others, I've had a few nice therapists who were kind and good listeners and wanted to listen to me chat about my week, but it didn't help and then I went a year while my illness worsened and I wasn't getting real help.

I've also had some really bad therapists that I kept telling myself, "I'll just give them a little more time. Maybe then they'll really understand me and start to help me."

My good therapists helped from very early on because they really understood me, could see what I needed, and got to work teaching me.

Even knowing that, I still have a hard time leaving a therapist. I feel guilty. But my studies in psychology taught me that there are many, many different theories of therapy, many orientations, many types of therapy. Each therapist has a section of people that they will really be able to help. Other people aren't helped by that particular therapist. Our goal is to find ourselves a therapist that is really well matched to us, and hopefully the therapists we leave will then be able to fill that therapy slot with someone they are a good fit to help.

[Wonderfalls]

Originally Posted by Ididitmyway

I've had the same feeling with many therapists during my therapist search. I'd leave and move on after the first session if I didn't get any valuable insight or useful information from them from the get go. I never gave any of them 5 or 6 sessions to come up with something. I value my time and money too much to waste it. It's nothing personal. Most of them were good people and well-meaning professionals but it's not enough to make me stay. I am sorry, but service is service, if I don't get what I need I am out. They shouldn't take it personally and if they do it's their problem.

So, yeah, the "good therapy" for me means I get important insight about myself and my situation which gives me a new perspective and allows me to come up with solutions.

Wow. I'm looking for a new therapist now and I find the ones that are immediately full of goals and plans to change me and fix all my problems--before they can possibly know me--very off-putting.

[MickeyCheeky]

I see there are lots of different opinions.. Maybe I'll stick around a little bit more and see what happens.

BTW, I haven't asked her what's her plan, but from the session we did, she seems to have no plan at all: we just kinda take whatever direction based on what I did during my week.. Idk :/

[kecanoe]

I see different ts and they differ as far as plans go. T1 has no plan whatsoever other than to support me and not dump me because I am very attached. He is hoping that the progress made with other ts will help w my attachment to him.

T2 and I have written goals. We've reviewed them a couple of times and changed/added to them (over the course of 5 years). When I got to the place where I am ready to taper off seeing her, we reviewed the plan and are working on the last item as I start going less frequently. We didn't refer to the plan very often, but we did make progress on the goals I had set.

T3s plan is to work with any trigger that come up between sessions. If I dissociate during the week and can identify it, then we start with that. If not, we go to working on standing issues like dependence, avoidance, abandonment. But these also get addressed tangentially when working on other stuff. We did set some goals when I first started seeing her, about 18 months ago. But I have no clue what those goals were. I was too dissociated when we talked about them.