[runlola72]

I had a meltdown a few weeks ago in session because for the, like 6th week in a row, there were changes in the therapy room. First an armchair had been sent out for reupholstering and was temporarily replaced by a simple kitchen chair. Then an AC unit was installed. Then the old rug (which I loved because there were 77 squares and I could count them when I was anxious) disappeared and the new rug was all these asymmetric random shapes, awful. Then a lamp vanished. Then a new knick-knack appeared. It was week after week and it made me very nervous and uncomfortable. I told him this, and I had a good cry over it in front of him. I think he felt bad. But at first I was accusing him of doing it on purpose, to upset me. When I calmed down I realized this was not the case, he is just trying to make his office more comfortable for clients. He explained the reason for each of the changes, and I get it now.

Has anyone else ever had an extreme reaction to change in the room like this? How did your T handle it?

[doogie]

I'm sorry. I'm really sensitive to changes in the room, too. If something has been moved or changed, I pick up on it right away. (Of course, that's probably because I spend MUCH more time looking around the room that I do at my T!) I try to remind myself it's just 'stuff', but it's hard. I understand why all the changes would be hard for you.

[ilikecats]

I hate when things change in the office. My T recently got a new desk and couch. The old couch was purple and even though I never sat on it I liked it. My T also started sharing her office with another T, so there are some new things from the other T in the office. And since they share, my T is only in her office half the week, so the other half she goes to other T's offices. It sucks because now I don't always get to be in her office, and I have to get used to a whole new office some sessions. One of them I actually kinda like, but the rest have been unlikable. A couple of them especially made me uncomfortable. I wish I could just always be in my T's office, with her old couch and none of the new stuff from the other T. I don't mind the desk change though. But yeah, office changes suck.

Yes I completely empathise. I notice every little change and I need the consistency. That's true of everything from the position of the books to the time of the session. I don't like anything to change. I hope things settle back down for you, I'm glad he understood.

[growlycat]

The changes that bother me most are evidence of other clients. A gift on a bookcase, a card, a new book etc. with long term t a picture of his kids was snuck into the room. I am a jealous person.

[mostlylurking]

Sorry runlola, that would be stressful to me too. My T used to have an old rug that was frayed and falling apart on one edge where he'd put his feet. It seemed very homey and comfortable to me. When it got replaced, the new rug seemed clinical and overly perfect, but I thought I was fine with it. Weeks later when I was going through a hard time, I wound up blurting out "And I miss the old rug!" and crying.

Almost as bad, one day his usual leather chair was replaced with an ergonomic office chair. That was a bit of a shock. If I picture him in my mind's eye it's always in the old chair.

Today I sat in the middle of the couch (I usually sit to one side) and it really sank in, like the springs are going, and I thought "Oh no...." If the couch changes I am really going to need advance warning. I'd never have predicted I'd be like this about the physical space, but his office has become my "safe place" which I imagine myself in during times of stress, so... yeah, changes do rattle me a bit.

T makes small changes every now and then, usually they don't bother me. But I remember during the first year I saw her in person, she moved the stuffed Raven that sits on top of one of the shelves and it was moved to a place where I felt like it was staring at me. I hated that and I told her and she moved it. I've been seeing her in person again for a lil over a year now and I honestly couldn't tell you where that bird is, if it's even still in her office. I'm pretty sure it is, but I cannot picture where. I'll have to look for it on Saturday.

She brought in a bench a couple months ago or so, and it's like a little table in front of the couch. Adult me likes it, appreciates the story behind it (it was hers when she was a young girl) but the little kid inside me hates it - feels like it separates her from me. I've not admitted that to t, though.

She's always had the same chair that she sits in - I don't know how I would feel if she suddenly changed that. I think that would rattle me.

[runlola72]

Originally Posted by growlycat

The changes that bother me most are evidence of other clients. A gift on a bookcase, a card, a new book etc. with long term t a picture of his kids was snuck into the room. I am a jealous person.

I'm jealous too... I get it...

[runlola72]

Originally Posted by mostlylurking

Sorry runlola, that would be stressful to me too. My T used to have an old rug that was frayed and falling apart on one edge where he'd put his feet. It seemed very homey and comfortable to me. When it got replaced, the new rug seemed clinical and overly perfect, but I thought I was fine with it. Weeks later when I was going through a hard time, I wound up blurting out "And I miss the old rug!" and crying.

Almost as bad, one day his usual leather chair was replaced with an ergonomic office chair. That was a bit of a shock. If I picture him in my mind's eye it's always in the old chair.

Today I sat in the middle of the couch (I usually sit to one side) and it really sank in, like the springs are going, and I thought "Oh no...." If the couch changes I am really going to need advance warning. I'd never have predicted I'd be like this about the physical space, but his office has become my "safe place" which I imagine myself in during times of stress, so... yeah, changes do rattle me a bit.

This makes me worry about the sofa. I, too, sit in the end, but so does everyone I think, because the cushion is very depressed. I am going to start sitting on the other side to even it out. I don't want to have the couch change!!

[stopdog]

No. I doubt I would notice any changes really. I might notice if the woman replaced her horrible couch with some decent chairs for clients, but as she is retiring, I can't really see that happening. I also might notice if she got close to me - but I don't think that would be about changing her office - it would more be that dementia had completely taken over.

No, can't say changes in his office bother me. He even completely changed building (towns actually) at one point. It was all fine. He moves chairs around from time to time as he often works with family groups of various sizes, so it isn't unusual for things to be changed up a bit from session to session.

I'm glad we've those impersonal clinic rooms which are all identical... so even if it's a different room, it all looks the same. Zero human touch, the only personal thing is her bag and her coffee tumbler.

I don't 'freak' out. That's an extreme reaction. I do notice small changes. T understands that as the room and everything in it represents her & I, than it would make me feel as if she's changed particularly as I had a mother that would change moment to moment. It's all part of the work.
T does try and keep change to a minimal or at least likes to discuss it with me

[retro_chic]

I don't think there have been any changes to the room since I've been seeing T. The only thing I sometimes notice is that the cushions on the couch are arranged a bit differently but I don't use that couch or the cushions so it doesn't really worry me. If the chair that I was sitting in was replaced with something like a kitchen chair I think I would be pretty upset.

[Pennster]

I'm really glad to read this thread! I have been very distressed by a couple of changes in the furniture, but I totally assumed I was just being wildly oversensitive. It's really good to see I'm not alone and gives me a new perspective on that little chapter of my therapy experience!

[Sarmas]

Originally Posted by ilikecats

I hate when things change in the office. My T recently got a new desk and couch. The old couch was purple and even though I never sat on it I liked it. My T also started sharing her office with another T, so there are some new things from the other T in the office. And since they share, my T is only in her office half the week, so the other half she goes to other T's offices. It sucks because now I don't always get to be in her office, and I have to get used to a whole new office some sessions. One of them I actually kinda like, but the rest have been unlikable. A couple of them especially made me uncomfortable. I wish I could just always be in my T's office, with her old couch and none of the new stuff from the other T. I don't mind the desk change though. But yeah, office changes suck.

I can relate I had a similar issue where my T shares rooms at times to accomodate other Ts and their clients. The one time we started in her husbands room which was odd. One time we started in her room and she was listening out for the other T in order to figure out when to switch during our session. I was upset. I noticed hat she looked distracted but half of the times she was. She didn't make me aware of the move until it was time to do so. As we are moving she's asking me if I minded and she's explaining why we need to move. I just kept my mouth shut and dealt with it. Consistency is always so much easier especially in this case.

[Waterbear]

My mind is normally so messy when I am in the room that unless it was a big change I don't think I would notice, even though I do look at other things a lot. I did once notice an addition. It was a bobbing head bird which had a beaker of water and when the beak touched the water the head went back and then slowly forward again. I spent ages watching it and the next time the watrr wasn't there so it didn't bob. Hasn't been there since I don't think. I don't think she wants me distracted more than necessary!!

Changing rooms freaked me out though.

[SoConfused623]

I really don't notice the changes so they don't affect me. In fact, on Monday when I went I noticed this big piece of flip chart white paper taped against the wall and over the heating vent. I found out that T put it there because hot air was blowing on her face and now with the paper sort of blocking it the heat goes randomly out through the edges of the paper. T told me that it had been like that for a while. I'm really oblivious to my surroundings sometimes!

[Argonautomobile]

Originally Posted by QuietMind

I'm glad we've those impersonal clinic rooms which are all identical... so even if it's a different room, it all looks the same. Zero human touch, the only personal thing is her bag and her coffee tumbler.

Same here. I don't mind the rooms (as long as they're not exam rooms) but it freaks me out if there's medical equipment in them. Sometimes there's one of those wheel-y rolling doctor stools in there for the clinician, and I can't stand for T to sit in it. I get all cagey and clammy and can't shake the (ridiculous) idea that he's going to roll over and palpate my lymph nodes or something. Yuck.

[therapyishelping777]

My T never has changes, same exact thing , haven't noticed any changes in 9 months. simple and safe.. I really like it like that..

[Mike_J]

My therapist has moved her office three times, these big changes are as unsettling as small ones. I notice small changes in her office and I wouldn't say it freaks me out but it does through me off for a bit.

I can empathize with you even though I haven't had an extreme reaction.

[HALLIEBETH87]

My t had to switches offices and it's completely different than her last office and I hate it

[coolibrarian]

My T has been in 3 offices since I started seeing her back in 1989. The first change didn't bother me except for having to figure out the bus schedule. I've since learned to drive. The last move, to her current office, bothered me for months beforehand, and even since. My family moved a lot when I was a child and I didn't have any say in the matter, so my T's changes in offices brings back all those (and other) feelings about being neglected, etc. She did allow me, however, to take photos of her in the old office, before her move. Sometimes I look at them, and it helps. She took most of her stuff to the new office, so first I saw familiar objects in unfamiliar locations, but now it's pretty much ok, most of the time. If there are any other BIG changes, sometimes I remember being upset about her moves, but like I said, most of the time it's ok.

[junkDNA]

when my T left the program i met him in he had this small dark office he rented from another T. he hadnt yet built up his private practice. i hated the room. T and i would walk on the sidewalk, or in the graveyard, or go to coffeshops or sit on a bench downtown to talk. i dont usuually get upset if somethings changed in his office

[ScarletPimpernel]

I don't mind small changes. They only bother me a little. I minded when she switched offices though. Everything was the same except there was a new chair for her. I like the chair, but I hate the office. But it's not my T's choice. She rents the office from another T.