[TishaBuv]

I just started CBT together with my h in marital therapy. Now I am thinking about what I am thinking to see if I have self defeating thoughts that are causing my problem.

While I do have somewhat of a negative dialogue, that's not what's causing my problems with my h. We learned it is more his dialogue with himself that is causing his issues with me.

We made some improvement this weekend in repairing our relationship.

Feeling very good and i hope we can keep it up.

[Skeezyks]

Progress!

[TishaBuv]

I was thinking about the CBT as the shyt just hit the fan with my mother.

I suppose I could have held my tongue. I still would have ended up giving her what I was going to give her.

But she made it so ugly, she had no consideration or respect for me. Could I have calmly talked sense into her, convincing her she was wrong? I even had our agreement in writing which proved she was wrong.

Oh well, what's done is done. It's over.

No matter how i could keep my composure using CBT, she still made it too ugly for me to ever forgive or forget. She ruined something I wanted to be beautiful. She destroyed all good feelings about it for me.

Had I predicted her behavior, and I should have because that is the toxic behavior she always done, I wouldn't have fooled myself in the first place.

Now I have the doomed feeling about how things that I want to go well are only going to go awry with the people who I know always make things go bad.

It was only a material thing that I won't have now. Just let it go. Try to walk away with whatever is left of your sanity.