Trigger warning - Having a meltdown

I had to ask a preacher for electric bill help and he was telling me that I needed to go to a church that was closer to where I lived. I told him that transportation wasn't a problem and I could drive to that area and he was condescending regarding why I'd want to drive that far when there are closer churches.

It makes me feel like I'm being pushed out of that church because of where I live which is not my fault because my mom died and I had to become the caregiver for my disabled brother and sister.

So I'm basically forced to live in this area forever.

I feel like cutting or being self-destructive.

So sorry. Instead of doing something self-destructive, I think I'd call him back and tell him what you said about your living arrangements. If he's ugly about it, then it sounds like you need to find a nearer church, at least until he leaves. Shame on him. (I'm a pastor's wife.)

And seek other sources of help.

Let us know how it goes.

Perhaps you need to find aid resources outside of your church. Usually there are other non-profit organizations that have funds to help people in the community with things like food and emergency bills. Are you not a member of the church you asked for help from? If not, that is probably why he said you need to look in your own community.