Possible to work successfully on self image in therapy?

I just experienced a setback when it comes to improving my self image. One of my main goals in therapy (a PDT, I don´t want CBT) is to improve my self image but I´m not sure if that´s possible.

To work on a self image you have to interact with people which I do but at the same time I bring with me my bad friend experiences from when I was little and went to school. I´ve felt a bit better in periods but now a thing with a friend happened, I felt forgotten as she hadn´t contacted me for several weeks and I felt like she didn´t want to turn to me in a more serious matter when her father got ill.

I saw her on Facebook writing comments and that made me feel abandoned and anxious as I´d already waited for almost a month for her to answer on my e-mail and she had said we would keep in touch and also ring each other. I´ve know here since we were children.

As I questioned her and asked why she hadn´t contact me and it stirred up so many feelings I just felt, ok "is it even possible to work on a better self image in therapy"? I felt this was a quite large setback and as my sometimes bad self image leads me to depression and anxiety I became very unsure if this self image work will be successful.

What are your experiences?

My self-image has been transformed by therapy. Before therapy I didn't do self-compassion or self-trust. My T's empathy and acceptance has allowed my self-acceptance to grow.

My last did NOT accept my anger and hence that relationship could not help me accept and integrate it into my self image. I've done a lot of research myself and so, after I left her, I am now doing OK. Accepting and dealing with your feelings is key to the process IMO however you do it.

My self-image has also been transformed by my work in therapy, altho i admit i am still a work in progress. But it has grown tremendously, I'm doing things now i would not have dreamed of doing prior to therapy with current t.

I also had self esteem issues stemming from how kids treated me at school. Even many years later, if someone got annoyed or angry at me I would feel instantly at fault even if I didn't even know why they were annoyed; I would just revert to this shame spiral that used to happen to me as a kid. I believe these were emotional flashbacks, though I couldn't see that until after they stopped happening.

I have a lot less anxiety in my relationships now, but it was a long process. I had to heal from years of social rejection. But yes, it's possible. I accept myself and even like myself in a way I did not, before therapy. It did require getting into some deeply buried shame, so it wasn't an easy process, but very much worth it.

Hello Sarah.

In my experience (both as a patient and as a therapist), therapy is a great tool for improving self image. It has been for me and for many of my patients.

That being said, it depends a lot on the therapeutical relationship and on your own involvement in the process. Improving our self image usually requires deep emotional work, in order to explore when and why the unhealthy self image was introjected and how to heal those emotional wounds. Of course this requires a strong therapeutical relationship so you can feel protected when opening up about the things contributing to this unhealthy self image.

I wish you all the best in this process. It's complicated, takes time and effort but definitely worth it.