Good thoughts for tomorrow, please!

Ugh - I'm starting to freak out.

I found a new, really interesting, potential T. He's got lots of neat qualities, and looks (online) like somebody that I'd actually enjoy talking to. He's from France (I studied French in school and have been trying to keep it up), he studied drama at one point (ooh! Fun! I took an acting class and wanted to write for TV!), and he works in some sort of "ego-friendly" way (I can't remember the exact way that he described it.)

He also has DBT experience, works with adults changing careers (something I need), and seems to have some possible experience with more serious stuff.

The downside - he's only been licensed for 3 years. I think he must have changed careers, because (if I read correctly) he's in his mid-40s now, but the lack of experience makes me a tiny bit nervous.

Anyway, I usually spend a lot of time trying to decide if I should go or not, and reading everything that I can online about a T... I did read some of his websites (and double checked the state website to make sure he is really licensed!), but I really *just* found him the other day.

My appointment is late tomorrow afternoon. I am so nervous now. I'm not sure where to even start. It's been a crappy year, I left my last T feeling so incredibly disappointed (he shut down me talking about what was going on my life because it wasn't important enough to spend time on, according to him), and I just feel like... my life is not working on so many levels.

I hope we connect. I hope he's better able to understand me than my last T. I hope he has that type of personality that makes me feel comfortable and able to open up. I hope he's smart, and has good ideas, and is able to be on my side. I hope he isn't more interested in how my brother is doing, or in being a tough T and asking hard questions rather than showing support and empathy. I hope he's not TOO empathic and gushy. And, I hope maybe I can get away with sneaking a minute or two of french practice in, every once in awhile!

And, if he's not the right T... please, I hope that I can tell that in the first session and not waste my time and money trying to make it work!!!

Fingers crossed. Deep breaths.

I hope it goes well for you guilloche. And your hopes might be something to share with him at some point!

Here's hoping it all turns out.

I hope it goes well. Don't let the inexperience bother you. My therapist (when she does not cancel) is awesome and she has only been out of school a couple of years. I hope you found a T.

My T did a mid-life career change to become a T and only became licensed at age 45. He'd been practicing about four years when I first started working with him. He is hands down the best therapist I've ever been to, no question. All his life experience outside the room has served him well, so I wouldn't let that stop you if you like other things about him. Plus, he is more current on training, techniques, and research, which is nice.

Thank you guys!!! I really do appreciate the good thoughts... I'm glad it's so fast, only one day of being nervous at least

Seriously, there should be a pick-up line for therapists like "what's your sign?" that will instantly determine whether they are right for you.

I hope it goes well!

I really hope he'll be the right T for you, I remember how much you have struggled to find a new therapist. Looking for a therapist is hell on earth, seriously. Like you I always doubt myself and ponder and read everything and end up disappointed many times. Good luck!

Good luck! It can be so difficult finding the right t.

Let us know how it goes ? We can have ups and downs with T's but there are good ones out there.

Thanks! I will definitely post back tomorrow evening when I get back and calm down a bit.

And yes, I *wish* there were an easy way to match up with therapists. I remember reading here about a service (in the NE US, I think) that actually interviews people and matches them with therapists (that they personally know). They had a 90-something percent success rate, I think. I am so jealous! I *wish* someone here would do something like that (and do it well!).

Myrto - wow! You have a good memory! Yeah, searching for therapists is really awful. I don't know what I'm missing - why it's been so hard. I actually liked my last T (and had went back for awhile) - but last time I saw him, when he told me not to talk about my internet problems (it was much more complicated than that, honest!) I just thought... yeah, this is never going to work. I believe that he cared and genuinely wanted to help, but we just... didn't understand each other, I think? It's awful though to have someone that cares, wants to help, is technically qualified and able to help - and to just not be able to make it work!

Thanks everyone! I don't really know what to expect at this point. I'm sort of thinking... maybe I *should* have done the phone screen after all, but, I honestly can't think of any previous Ts where the phone screen made me feel *better* about them (but several times it made me feel worse). I don't like the voice that they all seem to use when talking to a new client for the first time on the phone... that very slow, emotionless, robot-like voice... eek. No.

*thanks*

Im aquarius, long term and t/pdoc were scorpios - not a good match. T/pdoc was also on the cusp of libra - good match. Curr t is leo - a homebody. V Good as a parental surrogate. This is all in retrospect, so hindsight is 20 20?

LOL unaluna - I'm an aquarius too! And, last T was a scorpio! He tried... he really did, but we were very much on different wavelengths.

I wish I had asked French T what his sign is...