[benzenering]

My pdoc has sent me to therapy. She believes my drinking problem stems from a low self esteem issue (I'm 46 and disagree...I just like it). I am doing the obligatory therapy but I'm thinking that a six week trial is enough to know if it is helping me or is just a waste of time and money. Does this time frame sound about right? I've gone to two sessions so far and have another one this week but I haven't had any progress yet on any issues, if I even have any!

[Skeezyks]

Hello benzenering: Hm-m-m-m-m... well... I'll tell you I've seen a number of therapists for brief periods over the years. They ranged from mediocre to dreadful! I don't see a therapist anymore. For me it's simply not worth the time & expense. Plus, there are things in my background I simply could never talk about with anyone. So there's a definite limit to how much even a great therapist could help me (assuming I could find one.) I'm also an older person. (Even older than you!) And personally I do think that, for a variety of reasons, therapy becomes less beneficial as one gets a bit older. There's so much water that has flowed under the bridge, as the saying goes.

You wrote that your pdoc has sent you to therapy for your drinking, thinking that it is caused by low self-esteem. But you like drinking. (By the way, I don't drink anymore. I used to. But I gave it up when I went on antidepressants. I'm no longer on any med's at all. But I still don't drink simply because it costs money & I'm now on a fixed income. I've always loved the taste of most alcoholic beverages.) From my perspective, I think the question here is... are you drinking to the extent that it's damaging your health. If not, & if you like it, then I personally would feel as though going to therapy for it is pointless, unless you agree you are struggling with low self-esteem & want to try to get at the root of that problem.

The thing is you have to be invested in therapy for it to be of benefit. And therapy takes time & effort to work. If you're just going because someone else said you should, then (I believe) it's a waste of time & money. And as far as the 6 week time-frame goes, my personal opinion (again) is that it is really beside the point. There again, you're either invested in therapy or you're not. If you are, then there should be no arbitrary time limit. But if you're not then why get into it in the first place?

Now, of course, the other consideration that comes up here is whether or not the therapist you're seeing is someone you feel comfortable with & who you feel is helping you. If not then, at some point, you may want to consider looking for a different, more compatible, therapist. However, there again, I don't personally think one can set an arbitrary time line on that. It's simply a decision one arrives at over time.

[AllHeart]

Originally Posted by benzenering

My pdoc has sent me to therapy. She believes my drinking problem stems from a low self esteem issue (I'm 46 and disagree...I just like it). I am doing the obligatory therapy but I'm thinking that a six week trial is enough to know if it is helping me or is just a waste of time and money. Does this time frame sound about right? I've gone to two sessions so far and have another one this week but I haven't had any progress yet on any issues, if I even have any!

It really depends on a lot of various factors. The therapists skill level, specialties, modalities used, and personality match to name a few. Being with the wrong therapist will make therapy useless. Most important, I think, is having the readiness and willingness to want to go to therapy for support. If you are not ready to deal with things, do not want help from a therapist, or honestly do not have significant issues to work out, then it absolutely is a waste of time and money, I think.

I noticed you question whether or not you have any issues, yet you refer to your drinking as being a problem. I assume that to mean it's too much and is having negative effects on you, and maybe loved ones, in some way. Typically, there isn't a need to abuse our bodies even with things we just like unless there is a deep-rooted issue. My apologies if my assumptions are false.

[BudFox]

How precisely does the pdoc think therapy is going to help with low self esteem, or with a drinking problem?

eta: I'm not clear why it's relevant what the pdoc thinks in the first place, nor the therapist. What is the point?

[LonesomeTonight]

If you don't think you need to be there and aren't invested in the process, then therapy probably won't be helpful to you, no matter how good the therapist is. You need to think it might help and be committed to the process to really get something out of it. Otherwise, you're just going and talking to someone for 45-50 minutes.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I agree with LT. If you don't even think there's a problem, therapy is not going to help. You have to be aware of the problem and want to work on it before therapy could even begin to help.

[stopdog]

I have never had any benefit from therapy for what I went for. I keep going sort of as a hobby to see what therapists do. I find seeing two of them is interesting to me and as long as I don't really expect too much of either of them, it works for me.
But I think a six week trial is more than enough time to see if one is going to get a benefit or not.