[musinglizzy]

I know how I feel, but just wondering how others would take it. I have regular days/times that I see my T. Today is one of them. My T Emailed me last night, telling me she just remembered she has to be somewhere at 4, and will have to cut my session short. I have 50 minute sessions, today starts at 3. She also has a staff meeting every Thursday before my session (she owns the practice, and just meets with her employees in her office). This meeting usually has us running a little late. She said she'd try to get the meeting done on time. Guess I don't see why she can't just SAY to this small group of Ts that she has a session at 3 that she has to cut short, and could the meeting not only end on time today, but maybe even end 10 minutes early or something to accommodate this session? I have a LOT going on, a lot to talk about, and have made some life changing, BIG changes in the past week also. I guess I want every minute of my session.... so I'm a little frustrated by this.

This isn't an "emergency," it's something she had arranged and forgot about. We could have, had she remembered sooner, perhaps moved my session where I could have 50 minutes, rather than the possibility of starting late, and definitely ending early. I NEED my session....so I'm irritated.

Would others feel this way?

[wheeler]

I would be irritated too. I'd feel like she doesn't respect me or my time. Does she understand the impact her actions are having on you? Have you talked about it?

[musinglizzy]

I want to talk to her about it. I'll hopefully have a chance today? If I'm at the session at LEAST as long as I'm driving for it!! That is a good way to put it....

[musinglizzy]

I didn't know, given all I've been going through lately, if I was overreacting? I've just not felt comfortable to talk about it here....

(it's not because of anyone, or my experience here. This place is great! It's just...well, my bad decisions, finding bad ways to "cope," and finally now getting help for it.)

[velcro003]

I'm glad you are doing better, yes?

This would probably irritate me as well, but I highly doubt I'd say something to my T about it, bc I am a wuss

[precaryous]

Originally Posted by musinglizzy

I know how I feel, but just wondering how others would take it. I have regular days/times that I see my T. Today is one of them. My T Emailed me last night, telling me she just remembered she has to be somewhere at 4, and will have to cut my session short. I have 50 minute sessions, today starts at 3. She also has a staff meeting every Thursday before my session (she owns the practice, and just meets with her employees in her office). This meeting usually has us running a little late. She said she'd try to get the meeting done on time. Guess I don't see why she can't just SAY to this small group of Ts that she has a session at 3 that she has to cut short, and could the meeting not only end on time today, but maybe even end 10 minutes early or something to accommodate this session? I have a LOT going on, a lot to talk about, and have made some life changing, BIG changes in the past week also. I guess I want every minute of my session.... so I'm a little frustrated by this.

This isn't an "emergency," it's something she had arranged and forgot about. We could have, had she remembered sooner, perhaps moved my session where I could have 50 minutes, rather than the possibility of starting late, and definitely ending early. I NEED my session....so I'm irritated.

Would others feel this way?

You have a standing appointment on this weekday at 3. Why would she continually put you in this slot when she has a meeting that runs late...why would she schedule herself to be some place else at 4, cutting your session short as well. That's inconsiderate. It would irritate me, too, unless it was an emergency. Sounds like she is taking you for granted.

I would want to move my standing appointment so it didn't follow her staff meeting for starters.

[musinglizzy]

Originally Posted by precaryous

You have a standing appointment on this weekday at 3. Why would she continually put you in this slot when she has a meeting that runs late...why would she schedule herself to be some place else at 4, cutting your session short as well. That's inconsiderate. It would irritate me, too, unless it was an emergency. Sounds like she is taking you for granted.

I would want to move my standing appointment so it didn't follow her staff meeting for starters.

Thank you! Yes.... Thursdays at 3, unless it's a holiday or she's on vacation of course. I have been seeing her on this day for 2.5 years! Yes, an emergency is different. But the fact that this was scheduled, and she "just remembered" last night, irritates me. You would think she would do her best to schedule around sessions.

Yes, I have told her I don't want to follow that meeting anymore (the meeting is fairly new), and she is working on getting me into a 1pm slot on Thursdays, BEFORE the meeting. She will be able to, but it's going to be more around after the first of the year before it actually can start. If the meeting runs late (usually does) she just keeps me late. But today, we're already done 10 minutes early at least. I don't want to be 10 minutes late, too. I swear, I will leave if it gets to that point.

[LonesomeTonight]

I'd be bothered by it too. Recently, when he was checking to see if we could meet at the usual time the following week, my marriage counselor said he'd have to have a "hard stop" at 2:45 (our appointment is at 2, and they're 45-50 minutes). I asked for us to schedule a different time (and we did). I didn't tell him this, but it's because he tends to run late, so I figured the chance we'd get our full session in would be slim. Turns out it was good we rescheduled, because we had a pretty intense session, and he kept us a bit over, and the extra time helped us resolve something. So glad we didn't have a hard stop. Keeping clients over at times is one reason he runs late, but it's often been helpful for us, so I am OK with him doing the same for other clients, as long as it's not like 20 minutes late every time.

I'd definitely say something to your T though about it bothering you. Hope you get to have most of your session today!

[musinglizzy]

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

I'd be bothered by it too. Recently, when he was checking to see if we could meet at the usual time the following week, my marriage counselor said he'd have to have a "hard stop" at 2:45 (our appointment is at 2, and they're 45-50 minutes). I asked for us to schedule a different time (and we did). I didn't tell him this, but it's because he tends to run late, so I figured the chance we'd get our full session in would be slim. Turns out it was good we rescheduled, because we had a pretty intense session, and he kept us a bit over, and the extra time helped us resolve something. So glad we didn't have a hard stop. Keeping clients over at times is one reason he runs late, but it's often been helpful for us, so I am OK with him doing the same for other clients, as long as it's not like 20 minutes late every time.

I'd definitely say something to your T though about it bothering you. Hope you get to have most of your session today!

I guess what irritates me the most is that she just "remembered" about this last night. She doesn't work on Fridays, so no time or chance to reschedule. Anyway....session is in an hour....so gotta run! Thank you. I just wanted to know if I was out of line...if I were to say something about it today. I'll check this thread again before I go in.

[Elio]

How'd it go? I too would be mad.

[kecanoe]

Chiming in to say that I would also be upset. How did it go?

[musinglizzy]

She flat out asked me right in the beginning. First she apologized for having to end early, then she asked me if it made me upset. I said yes. (First of all, she not only got the meeting out on time, but a couple minutes early! That's a first!). I told her my thoughts, also, is that she may be distracted by getting out on time, and watching the clock constantly. She then told me she was only having to leave 5 minutes early. And then she got, what I feel is, a bit defensive after I said those things. She said this is NOT how she operates, and she's sorry it's happening, and it's really not ok. She was talking a bit stern to me, and kept repeating herself that it's only 5 minutes. I felt like crap! I started crying...really crying...and after she again repeated the 5 minutes, I said "I'm SORRY I feel this way, I'm SORRY this bothers me." I wanted to crawl in my hole. Then her voice went soft again. I told her it's not about the time, the number of minutes she has to leave early, after all, it IS only 5 minutes, but I assumed the meeting would run late like it always does, and figured she'd need more time than 5 minutes. I told her it's about my not feeling important. Not a measly 5 minutes. She agreed, and said I have plenty of reasons and life experiences that would cause me to feel this way, and that I'm very vulnerable right now, and T2 just mentioned cutting sessions, and I'm very vulnerable right now, then T2 also mentioned she applied for another job, I'm majorly changing my life and the ways I cope right now (with help of a medication that not just ANY doctor can prescribe, that's also almost $50 every day and my insurance is balking so I've had to buy some out of pocket) and I'm very vulnerable right now. LOL I think I said it enough.

She brought up last week, when I glanced over at her bookshelves, which is normally where I stare off, and noticed two shelves were empty. She thought she saw a look of panic on my face (I wasn't), and explained why. She said "I'm not moving or leaving or anything." Honestly, staring at two empty book shelves in her office didn't make me think that, but I see how she could think I might. She knows I need consistency right now (we all know she has not been very consistent in the past), and she assured me nothing is changing, she will NOT. CHANGE. ANYTHING. Some people in my life have dropped out of my life...another in prison, another in a nursing home (two, actually), and I'm having a hard time dealing with this life change without any support at home (it's not their fault, I haven't told them).

Anyway, after her appearing (to me) defensive, and my crying/sobbing through most of the session, it ended well enough. She sat on the floor beside me, even held my hand for a short time. And then we walked out to our cars together. I felt bad over whining about 5 minutes....but I honestly didn't know that's all it would be, but it's deeper than the time I lost. That's not what my feelings were about. I'm sure most of you "get" that!

Thanks so much for checking in! The session went ok...and I got out what I wanted to. I just hate feeling "SOOOO fragile." I truly hate it.

[musinglizzy]

Oh...my T said I was "projecting crap" onto her....