[BrazenApogee]

I asked this question in a question and answer thread, but I think it deserves its own thread.

The best things a T has done for me:

Teach me how to Lucid Dream to stop the nightmares.
Be super calm and patient for a long long time, till it seeped in and I calmed down too.

What is the best thing a T has done for you?

I don't know that I can name one best thing, but there are a number of things that were hugely helpful, some in the short term, some long term.

Short term:

1. First therapist picked me up and took me to his home for safety for a few hours when one of my abusers decided to come see me after being confronted. It was beyond the call of duty but provided well needed immediate safety.

2. Third therapist took it upon himself secure the right psychiatrist for my son when he was hospitalized. It was a very helpful and calming support -- something I would not have known to do or how to do on my own at the time.

Long Term:

1. Second therapist decided to start up a therapy group specifically for women recovering from sexual abuse in much part due to his work with me. That group was instrumental in an important stage of my healing and growth.

2. Third therapist taught me invaluable skills for self-care and independence that I use each and every day. (Probably the greatest help any therapist ever gave me.)

3. Third therapist worked with my whole family, as individuals and in groups. His care in really getting to know my whole family, to really understand our family dynamics, brought all of us individually and as a family to a place of secure healing and health.

[LostOnTheTrail]

Prev T, before P, did two great things. She listened, and introduced me to transferential others/transitional objects. Now, I have a pebble that I carry everywhere with me...thanks, J!

[atisketatasket]

Owned her mistakes instead of excusing them, and tried to make amends for them.

[LadyShadow]

Over the year my T has done the following things:

Helped me learn to accept myself and body.
Know that I am okay, and how to forgive myself.
Remind me that I am human and that I make mistakes.

And most of all just listen. He has always listened intensely and been great guidance to me.

Stuck with me. Stayed consistent. Owned his own stuff. Apologised. Cared.

ETA: Held my hand when I was trembling during trauma work. That was amazing.

[Elio]

The biggest thing I think she has given me is attunement. From this has stemmed so much more, such as:
- empathetic listening
- emotionally held
- patiently waiting
- unconditional acceptance
.
.
.
- me realizing that I love me

She said "you are not broken." that was actually huge for me to hear.

She owns her mistakes.

She is consistent and present and i would not be the me that i am able to love today without the work she has taught me to do.

[Waterbear]

Been that someone that I always dreamt of. If I had to pick one thing then it would be using safe touch with me alongside being someone safe to talk to. I never had either of these things when I needed them and now I have both. The deep longing is not out of control because it has a place of nurture. It knows it can get what it needs. I know I can get what I need, if I can see clearly enough to remember this and ask for it or indicate it.

The best thing my T has done for me is to be what I need, when I need it (again, when I actually let her know, that is).

[junkDNA]

Being PATIENT

[LostOnTheTrail]

Originally Posted by artemis-within

She said "you are not broken." that was actually huge for me to hear.

Can only imagine how spectacular that moment must have been, Art.

kept me as a client when she didnt keep anyone else
goes above and beyond all the time for me
gives me sessions thatncan last hours and hours
is honest with me

[Argonautomobile]

Teaching me, by example, how to deal with upset people.

[stopdog]

The woman stays back and does not try to touch me.

[Victoria'smom]

ex T- wasn't scared of me even at my craziest.

[AllHeart]

She taught me patience, understanding, and love.

[ruh roh]

I don't know how to narrow it down.

[rainbow8]

She held my hand when I wanted it.
She signs her emails "love."
She hung my artwork on her wall and encourages my painting.
She came to my H's funeral and to my house.
She tells me nothing is TMI.
She still answers my emails.

Sorry there are so many "best things."

[Luce]

While on vacation in another country ex T got up at six am to give me an emergency Skype session when no other support was available.

[GeminiNZ]

Openly cares about me
Believes me
Owns his own stuff
Emails
Safe touch

[rainboots87]

There are so many things, but the thing that means most to me is when former T genuinely cared about me and wanted the best for me when I couldn't do that for myself.

Been skilled and a genuinely kind soul.

oh yeah and she gives me hugs sometimes!

Helped me lose an obsession I could not get rid of for many years before. Also, in general he has been very professional and consistent.

[ruh roh]

The first biggest thing is that she agreed to restrain from excessive positivity, which I know has taken effort since that's her main orientation. Other things she's done that rank high is reading books I bring (non-therapy), providing support between sessions when things flare up, accepting things about me that other therapists have rejected, offering calming down walks, never saying no to any request (so far), and being consistent and kind...there's more. It's hard to pick one thing.