[SoConfused623]

Here's a quick summary of my situation for anyone not familiar:

I was seeing a T for 2 years who I really liked and who was a great T in many ways but who was also a blank slate T and wouldn't tell me anything about herself. I really wanted to know more about her and did a TON of Google and Facebook research on her, but later felt guilty and told her what I had done. She was pretty mad (she used the word, "Miffed" lol") we had a rupture and tried to repair it for the past year or so.

Our 2 year anniversary comes and I think that she should now be more forthcoming with info but she still isn't. I get really frustrated and tell her that it's not working with us and give her a list of 5 things that I'd like for her to do differently and she won't budge on any of them. There were a lot of red flags in my last romantic relationship and here were more red flags in the therapeutic relationship so I decide to find a new T who turns out to be a 30 minute car ride away. This past Tues I told my current T about new T and we have a really nice session and nice goodbye. Ever since then I have been feeling really sad, depressed and miserable.

So here's the update; This morning my ex-T CALLS ME to say that she told my p-doc that I wasn't going to be seeing her anymore and p-doc reminds her that I can't get meds at this particular center unless I'm getting therapy there as well. The problem is that I really like my p-doc and had absolutely no intention of leaving her! My T was very apologetic about not having realized and said that new T probably has a colleague that she refers folks to who need meds.

Now my dilemma is to find a new p-doc which I don't want to do as I really like my current one and this center is a 3 min walk from my place OR ask my Therapist or p-doc for referrals to another therapist in this practice so that I can continue seeing my p-doc. My T had said that she could give me a few names but would not choose one for me.

To be honest, I think that a part of me was hoping to remain with this p-doc partially because I thought that I might occasionally see my T in passing. But, my T is really not one who walks around the office much and I have NEVER seen her outside of her office or even standing for that matter so it's not that likely that I would bump into her in reality.

Another reason why I don't want to leave this center is because it's a non-profit in my city that I lobby for funds to be donated to from a Civic organization that I belong to. I know 5 people on the board and have participated in several fund raisers for this Mental Health Center.

The other thing that I'm debating is just saying good bye to this p-doc and finding a new one either through my Primary Care Doctor or the new T. I really don't want to have to do this!

I'm just missing T so much and am so disappointed and hurt that she wouldn't change even one thing to make me happy. It's all that I can think of and I've completely wasted yet another day thinking about/dwelling on all of this. I'm really having a lot of trouble moving on and now I feel like I'm leaning towards trying to keep current p-doc and getting a new T in the same practice. I can't seem to figure out what my real motives are for wanting to stay.

Any thoughts or suggestions are welcome.

[LonesomeTonight]

Ugh, that's tough. Maybe look into new T's within the same center, for the convenience, the nonprofit connection, and the fact that you'd still be able to see your p-doc? Or would they all be too connected to your ex-T?

[ruh roh]

Originally Posted by SoConfused623

So here's the update; This morning my ex-T CALLS ME to say that she told my p-doc that I wasn't going to be seeing her anymore and p-doc reminds her that I can't get meds at this particular center unless I'm getting therapy there as well. The problem is that I really like my p-doc and had absolutely no intention of leaving her! My T was very apologetic about not having realized and said that new T probably has a colleague that she refers folks to who need meds.

Sheesh. So now miss blank slate is blabbing her mouth off to the pdoc? You'd think she could have kept this to herself and let the pdoc find out in due time...like, not for months or something.

Maybe you can ask your pdoc for a referral.

Weird rules. It's like they own the people who come to them for help. They don't. You should be free to see whomever you want. I get that that's not how it works there, but ick. I'm sorry.

[Merecat]

I doubt ex-T had a choice in letting people know you had ended with her - there will be some case file admin and she would need to let people know she has space for a new client. It's rubbish that you can't keep your p-doc - would you prefer a t in the same clinic or was there a reason you looked completely outside?