HELP

I am so exhausted! I have mild cerebral palsy (physical disability) and a diagnosed mental illness! I've had the physical disability since birth and the mental diagnosis (Borderline personality disorder) for about 4 years. Ive done a ton of physical therapy and about 7 years of individual psychotherapy plus other treatment programs. And after all I've been through I'm feeling really worn out! My physical therapy caused a lot of emotional trauma as well! I've been through a lot and at a loss as to where to go from here. I've been to many outpatient programs but no inpatient hospitalization which is something I'm considering. I would love to hear from others about what you did when things got really bad and some good residential or inpatient treatment!

Inpatient treatment for me was purely for emergency reasons: I was suicidal and being inpatient provided safety and ability for medication management. It was very helpful for that purpose only. Longer term inpatient/residential was not something I had access to financially as it would have been extremely expensive and not covered by my particular insurance (insurance generally doesn't cover long-term inpatient psychiatric treatment). Intensive outpatient was an option, but I wasn't particularly interested. I found working with my own therapist was sufficient and more effective. Most inpatient facilities are set up solely for short-term crisis management with the goal of stabilization and transition into outpatient care, so generally there isn't much in terms of therapy (rarely one-on-one, just groups).

Thanks for your replay! Did you find the inpatient treatment and groups helpful?

Not particularly so; a few were, but not in any long-term, meaningful sort of way. Some were interesting -- more psychoeducational than therapy-based. Others I didn't bother to attend because they weren't pertinent to my particular needs or the facilitator of that particular class/group wasn't very good. It was hit and miss; you learn which ones are worth the time and which ones to avoid.

The treatment itself WAS helpful in that it kept me alive and allowed my pdoc to make aggressive med changes that he wouldn't have been able to do so quickly outpatient. That was the function of inpatient.

Yeah, my fear is exactly what your saying! That the therapy and groups won't be helpful and ill be regretting my decision to go in the first place. Emotionally things are really tough but there seems to be no type of treatment for purely that!

If you have the finances, you might be able to find a long-term/residential program of quality. My pdoc actually had one he wanted me to go to at one point, but it would have cost far too much money; just not realistic for me.

Have you considered just taking a break from therapy for awhile? Sometimes we can just get exhausted from too much treatment and intervention and just need some time to decompress -- not something I was ever able to do while in therapy/treatment. Taking a few weeks or months to just be on my own, pursue activities outside therapy, etc., sometimes was exactly what I needed, and my therapist and pdoc encouraged a treatment sabbatical on occasion. Got me away from continuous contemplation of my problems for a bit so I could return when I was ready in a better place and ready to do the work again.

I am considering a long term residential program if I can afford it, yes they are very costly! No, I have not discussed a break from therapy. At this point I don't think I am mentally stable to take a break from therapy. So thats why I am feeling like I am at such a loss as to where to go next!

I was in a residential program for almost 5 years. It helped me immensely

That's great! I hope you don't mind me asking, what residential program did you go to and what was the structure of the program?

I did not like inpatient. I had to be inpatient due to being suicidal, but felt locked up with no help. Their goal is to keep you safe until you "stop" feeling suicidal. They give you a bunch of meds, you watch t.v. or go to groups. The groups are not even helpful, they just give you something to do. You don't have any therapist for one on one. I felt like I was going crazy in there because I needed someone to talk to, and they don't provide that. I was so happy to be out of there and I never want to go back.

Those are my fears too! Which is why I'm trying to avoid it if possible! But the thing is, there doesn't seem to be a better alternative!! I'm really struggling and need to find something!

Any other advice welcome!!

i will PM you