[nottrustin]

Today is the day T officially closes the sale on her home. She will still travel once a week here to see clients. She is moving in with her significant other out of state but only about 1 1/2 hours away. So many things will change and I fear winter weather will cause her to cancel some over the next couple of months. It sucks. I feel like even though I will be scheduled to see her weekly. I feel like I am losing her. Like almost everybody else in my life. I fear losing her consistency. I have always been able to contact her whenever I needed to. She was okay with me emailing her even if it was to vent and get things off my chest especially when my Ptsd was triggered. A couple of months ago she mentioned that whole she is still there for me she also wanted me to think about who else I can reach out to. I have done that some with success bur there are some things I can't talk to others about...but I don't want to bother her.

I have been struggling for the past month and a half with thoughts of wishing I could go to sleep and never wake up. We have discussed these thoughts some in sessions. 1 can't just tell my husband or friends about this. I do have a wonderful proc. But she recently changed group system she works with. Before we worked in the medical system so I could email and I knew the staff. If I needed you contact her between appointments I felt comfortable doing so. With the new place I don't have her email and the office staff is not very friendly. Honestly with all these changes I don't feel safe telling her about the thoughts going on in my head and how much I am struggling.

I have refrained from contacting t this week as I knowshe had way more important things going than dealing with my issues. While for the past 8 or years or so years that I have always felt safe, and knew I cound rely on T. I now wonder what the whole point of continuing seeing her. If I am always wondering what the next big change will be that it would be painful. I wonder if these passive SUI could partially have to do with losing her

[ScarletPimpernel]

An hour and a half isn't so bad. Lots of people take that long to get to work or even longer! It takes me an hour to get to T's. Your T isn't leaving you. She's just changing her personal life. Maybe she shouldn't have told you about the move...

[nottrustin]

She sort of had to. I saw her at her home office so the for sale signs were up. We also live in a very small community so I would find out. Part of our trust is she would would tell me about major changes.

Im sorry shes moving!! thats hard
i have to travel 18 hours on an airplane to see my T.

[kecanoe]

I have a couple of thoughts. One is that in my experience and reading here, when a t says a person should develop other relationships for support, it doesn't mean that the t is tired of the client, but often that the t thinks (correctly, I believe) that the client probably needs people outside of the therapeutic relationship that they can rely on and receive support from. Kind of a "don't put all your eggs in the same basket" thing. I think mutually supportive relationships with others are a good thing, and it seems to me that most ts want that for their clients. I am not real good at doing this, but I can see that the goal makes sense.

The other thought I have is that your t will be pretty motivated to get to your town. I assume she is seeing other clients while there, so if nothing else the prospect of the loss of income would be an incentive to get there. It's not like they can take a sick day and still get paid.

Your passive thoughts could likely be due to grief. They are not uncommon in grieving people.

Final thought. T has been there for you for 8 years. That is unlikely to change. She will most likely do exactly what she has said she will do.

[nottrustin]

Thank you kecanoe. I know you are probably right. She has always been very supportive. She will be seeing multiple clients while here not really because of the money but because she loves what she does. Plus she isn't ready to retire yet.